Sandi2, Coach, Puppy and Gucci help!

[Gardener]

You have to realize that in her state of mind right now, her way is the only one that makes sense. In her mind, you are %100 responsible for everything wrong and the only way to fix this is to get out.

Wow. This is the kind of obvious truth that - in my sitch - I can't be reminded of often enough.

Thanks.

[Bravehardt]

Shock

It's realy is pissing me off this week!

[ShockedOne]

Brave,
Trust me brother, you are not alone in that feeling. I have been extremely pissed tonight. My wife changes her plans regularly, and just expects me to pick up the slack, and doesn't tell me until it is time for her to leave, even if it is 2 hours before the established time she was leaving. It is frustrating and it will piss you off. Just don't allow her to know she is getting to you, it will add fuel to her fire.

[Bravehardt]

Sandi

Good to here from you today.

It was a rough on for myself, I feel much better tonite.

So, I was one of the main ones (or maybe the only one) who talked to Brave about how he needed to take some control in this stitch and that they needed to have a respected visitation schedule in place. That is nothing but fair on each side.

Not yet!

This what I agreed to this week.
The W picked up D 6 tonite. She will have her till Saturday morning.

Before they left, the W and I talked about a D, ( logistics neither one of can afford attorneys this would leave nothing in the end, option include mediation or just sitting down to figure it out like two adults). I let her know that her legal threats won't work anymore with me. I'm not the one who asked for this sitch, her main grip is always about her money. She claim that she is broke and can't afford to do anything, no food for herself, none to do anything with the kids. She said that her sister has sent her money. I said that I'm in no way responsible for her financial situation, I'm taking care of everything as usual. She said that I was living in luxury.I should at least pay for her to have cable. She has only demanded a $1000. a month back in April. Again I let her know that the door is open for her to return.

She feels that I would try and screw her out of whats she deserves in a divorce. This is the first time the actual D discussion has taken place. She spewed a lot of BS. I told her again I was through with all her threats, and did not apprieciate her accusing me of keep the children busy so she could not visit them. If she wanted to know what was going on she just need to ask.

After all her drama she calmed downed. She was in the car with D 6 ready to leave. None the before mentioned took place in front of the kids. I was suprised that she told me that this past year she had felt as though everyone wanted something from her especially her mom. She is glad that her mom was now in an asisted care home. She just feels like she needs to acomplish something on her own. I told her I understand how you feel, but we are your family and that were her for you to acomplish what ever she needs to. She told me that I have been there for her and the kids and that she never wanted to hurt me or the children. Also your doing a great job. I said that it did hurt because I don't know if she's dead or alive when she out there and that we all shared her pain. I told her we could put the past behind us and forge forward one day at a time. She replied that she hasn't hit the wall were she would realized that she had it all and threw it all away, and it's to late...............She balling her eyes out so I take her in my arms and hold her for at least five minutes..........They leave.

I'm so confused !!!!

[Bravehardt]

Shock

Another late one bro.

I hate putting on the armor and drawing the sword. She gave me a work out today. Maybe its like Sandi said, it such a 180 to her. I think I kept Excalibure at bay tonite.

[goldeylox]

Hi Brave...Goldey here. Would you say tonight she moved toward you a bit? Or farther away?

[Bravehardt]

goldeylox,

We went around the world and back again tonite. She told me more tonite than I've heard in months.

She did move forward towards me, like we connected for the first time.

[goldeylox]

That's what I sensed.
I'm a WAW who came back, physically, about 6 months ago.
Our sitch is different in that my H has a hx of verbal and emotional abuse.
I am technically challenged, one of these days I'll figure out how to get my threads linked in my sig line.

[Bravehardt]

goldeylox

Thanks for posting.

Our sitch is different in that my H has a hx of verbal and emotional abuse

Can you elaborate?

I'm interested in hearing what happened.

How did he change and what inspired you to give it another go?

[goldeylox]

Me:40 H:45 M:20
S:19, S16, D13
Catholic, attended Retro in '97 and early '08.
I'll give you the super-condensed version, or you could go back and read some of my posts from last summer/fall.
In May of '07, I fled, after an argument over not making him dinner which ended in things being smashed up. Kids did not handle it well (loss of nuclear family in one house), so I insisted on Anger Management classes, and moved back after 4 weeks. H stopped going to the classes shortly thereafter. Found DB site in July. Abuse escalated, bullying/pushing. I made my plan, this time including the kids (S19 away at school). We moved to a secret apartment, I filed for custody, D, and a restraining order, which was later reduced to a no-contact order. Finances were tight, but not impossible.
I had some pretty high expectations that the kids would be better off, but they were just not willing to cooperate. I have a history of depression, rebellious teenagers was more than I could handle. H made it clear I could come back anytime. In February I did. Since then, it's gotten better, but I really don't know if I belong here. The D has been dismissed. If I have to, I'll file again. On the advice of my C, I'm taking it one day at a time. Peace.