I've been reading your thread all along, but didn't feel I had anything specific to offer in the way of advice. What, specifically, are you struggling with?
I'm confused at the actions from my W. Her threats and anger towards me based on the stance I've taken in not providing her financial aid.
I have not read many sitchs where the wife is applying this kind of pressure to the LBS.
Is it just a verbal stand off or what?
Just lay back and see what happens. I've always had a great deal of patiences but lately it's running on empty.
Dealing with her has become a pain in the a$$, just so different from the past.
Just looking for anything new to try I guess.
Thanks
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
I'm confused at the actions from my W. Her threats and anger towards me based on the stance I've taken in not providing her financial aid.
I have not read many sitchs where the wife is applying this kind of pressure to the LBS.
Is it just a verbal stand off or what?
Just lay back and see what happens. I've always had a great deal of patiences but lately it's running on empty.
Dealing with her has become a pain in the a$$, just so different from the past.
Just looking for anything new to try I guess.
Thanks
When I get a chance, i"ll try to read back thru your thread. To be honest, once you and Sandi got onto those looooooong posts, my eyes kinda glazed over and I stopped reading.
I will say that a very strong undercurrent (or even TOPcurrent!) of ENTITLEMENT is not unusual at all in these situations. I'm guessing you've always kind of fed that beast, too, am I right??
@ Puppy ((Yes)) She's employed full time not enough to support her new life style though. She made a comment yesterday that if I had been helping her out since the begin we might not be where were at today.
Well in truth in the first two month I did give her 1500.00 plus she took a least that same amount in cash the next month out of our safe.
She just pisses through it. None went to doing anything with the kids either, she's been using that line lately to I can't afford to eat or do anything with the kids.
But you just want to be the fun dad. Not my problem.
Thanks
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
You know what? You didn't think like this until you went out dancing & flirting and found a woman who would give you the time of day, and now you are suddenly having second thoughts about your MR. Cr@P! I have read this so many times from LBH's till it makes me sick! All you were looking for was somebody to tell you that it was okay to go screw around!
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This has been on my mind for the past 2 weeks.
Is it the thought that a W can go out and test the waters, find OM, become WAW and have no regards as to what the LBS feels deep down (total betrayal). The WAW spouse shows no remorse and continues with their shanigans.
But in the same sense of fairness, let say x amount of time has gone by and the LBS heart has harden and WAW has not moved closer to LBS. The LBS is at the point where closure is needed.
He needs to feel those same words of affirmation and desires someone that would treat him with the same respect, love and addmiration that WAW is recieving from OM.
What if the LBS were testing the waters in the same fashion as WAW?
And with the laws of attraction being what they are and god works in mysterious ways, someone presents themself to LBS that fits into his world and fills his core needs and he fills hers.
How would WAW feel?
How would WAW react?
Would it turn the sitch in a new direction?
Does LBS care anymore?
Does any of it really matter?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm confused at the actions from my W. Her threats and anger towards me based on the stance I've taken in not providing her financial aid.
Then you haven't done enough reading... this is so script it isn't funny.
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I have not read many sitchs where the wife is applying this kind of pressure to the LBS.
Quote:
Is it just a verbal stand off or what?
Just lay back and see what happens. I've always had a great deal of patiences but lately it's running on empty.
Dealing with her has become a pain in the a$$, just so different from the past.
Just looking for anything new to try I guess.
Try this:
Dear in the headlights look and total silence. Let her scream herself silly. No response. None. (At least not verbally. You are allowed to run her over with a big *ss 4x4 in your mind, which will help you keep the deer in the headlights look. Just don't smile, because it gives that all away.)
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
It's funny you mention gambling, she lives two blocks from one of the largest indian casinos in the county we live in.
We use to go there once a month for dinner. She like's to play some of the slots. But I never saw any form of abuse.
Drugs, hormones there's a different personality each time we talk.
She started smoking quite a bit more back in October of last year, plus she pounds a couple of Star bucks and Monster javas every day. I don't believe her diet is very good.
Well nicotene and caffine.
Kind of rhymes.
She doesn't make a lot of money, but is still trying to act all trendy if you know what I mean.
She has all new friends that she appears to hang out with every other weekend (just after payday). They all live in the next county, about an hour away.
It's hard to say where she blows it.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
