a whirlwind of activity you seem to be. the way i see it, energy begets more energy. i see it so well but live it far less. maybe today will be different. first sleep then off to track.
Enjoy yourself, John! Jeff, even if my best girlfriend backs out, maybe I would come on my own. I am sure you would be willing to meet up for dinner if it isn't too far from you...
Today has been busy but good. 90% of school clothes have been purchased, all with garage sale proceeds. I consider that 'free money'--it was never in the bank so I never had to take it out!
The other night when Dan said I thought he was a pedophile/rapist, I sent him a text before I processed everything and let go. It just said that I did not think he was either, the truth is I always had felt i was in competition with the strippers and porn and didn't like that.
Well that was two days ago. Today on the way to the movies, I got a text from him out of the blue. "By the way I don't go to the strippers anymore they just annoy me. Anyway what law firm did you go to"
So I guess the whole stripper thing must have struck a nerve. I found it funny that he addressed not going to strippers but not the porn part, since I know he was still buying that crap as recently as 2 months ago...
I just replied back asking why he needed that information. He said he was going to go see a lawyer for advice/information and did not think he should go to my lawyer. He said, "I am not putting anybody on retainer or anything like that, just think I need information."
If he is in full disclosure, that he makes $180K, I have the kids 80% of the time, was stay-at-home-mom, and that he is 100% the one choosing divorce, I doubt the numbers will be pretty. Add in the cattle enterprise and the $80K in 401K and it will be bleak on his end. His only bright side will be if he can dump 1/2 of his debt on me, since I am officially debt free except for the mortgage...
Anyway I texted back the name of my attorney (who is also not on retainer yet but i didn't mention that) and let it go.
Tonight is 'his' night, instead of enforcing them I just keep track on a calendar whether he sees them or not and for how long--the other night it was one whole hour...
If you get into the state of Arizona, it's close enough!
I think Dan has given up.... well, I think he gave up long ago, but he never admitted it to himself. I wonder if dropping the rope works on the WAS the way it does with the LBS? I think it is an interesting question.
Well I for one am starting to lose faith, I hope it comes back to me! I just don't know how he can be so stubborn and prideful. He said Monday night that he would love me till the day he died, but he didn't trust that I would be there for him? Wtf do you call the last two years?? Aargh...
And then telling Sydney that 'maybe someday' he would come back with his jammies and toothbrush. That is a lot of hope to give a 3 yr old if you have no intention of coming back...
I hope I am wrong, wrong, wrong! I fear that Dan and Kalni's H may be cut from the same cloth. Too cowardly to actually change anything, and doing just enough to give you hope.
