Well it will be right at 33% based on my gross salary. He was talking about giving me all the money as child support when we last discussed this (months ago) because then it doesn't count as income, or something like that...
In general, child support is better for you, as he pays the income tax on it. What I don't know is whether you can count that in you income with respect to the mortgage.
But those are questions you can ask the bank, and that's free!
Sorry, BobbiJo, I don't really know ya, but I saw Jeff's post... I am in IL, and I have to pay income tax on the child support I receive(d) from my D18. Her dad and I divorced when she was two.
Have I been wrong all these years, Jeff? Moi? LOL
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I would think you would be able to add it as income. I used it when I got my car loan. But you are also right in that you will have to pay taxes on spousal support but not on the child support. Dan will get to deduct the spousal support payments from his taxes.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
My understanding is that the parent paying child support pays the income tax on it. Because in theory it is going to benefit the kids, not the receiving spouse. Spousal support is a deduction from the income of the paying spouse, and is income to the receiving spouse.
I just read it again, and I have it right. MB, I don't know what to say, according to the IRS you are not supposed to be paying income taxes on child support that you receive!
Jeff, forwarding info to H... He handles the financial stuff! Hey, I'm all for getting rid of something I'm paying that I shouldn't be! Thanks! I'll buy ya a beer! (Hell, I don't receive it anymore AND I've been doing this 16 years! Eek!)
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Heck, from what I just read, the IRS even has a rule where if there is any connection of the support to the age of the children, it is child support, and the taxes MUST be paid by the payor, and not the Payee. So, it seems you might even have a claim to get some money back. And your ex-H might not be very happy about it! Because I bet he deducted it wrongly.
I have been crying pretty much all day. Took Nathan up to the counselor this morning, Dan came in his own car. She talked to me for 40 minutes first, said I sounded like I was willing to work out things with H, that I was open to growing, changing, etc in a positive way (she asked about this b/c of son's problems missing his dad). She told me she thinks our son's sudden 'fear' of sleeping at night without his daddy--he said he wouldn't be afraid of zombies in our house at night if daddy were home--is most likely son's last-ditch effort to make his dad come home. Sad...
Anyway I went out and Nate went in, and Dan started being snippy. Said it was a waste of 3 hours (its a 40 min. drive each way) every week to bring him to counseling, he could spend that time playing with us.
He said he was tired of everything and going to fix up his house and live in it and have the kids part of the time. He was done. Period.
I asked him (dumb) why he told me that he wanted me to live with him in the house when it was fixed up--he told me that about 6 months ago...He said he did want me to, but things have changed. But contradicted himself by saying that he has been waiting for the past year, hoping for 'something' to change and get better and it never did so he is done.
Then karate got over and he told Nathan we were all 3 going to go go lunch. Wtf. Again, me in a rough spot as I had Nathan's karate stuff with me. We met for lunch and I was so sick I didn't want to eat. Ordered a salad and slipped H $5 but he gave it back to me, wanted to buy lunch.
It got worse at karate, I was stupid and asked him ??s and he got irritated with me. Finally I just told him I wouldn't talk about it anymore, I would get with my attorney and our attorneys could talk. He said he was meeting with one next Friday so I didn't need one. I said, "Yeah, I do. If you have one I will need one." He said he wasn't intending to use two attorneys. I said, "That's too bad." He said his was only $1500. I said mine was $3800. He told me to find a cheaper lawyer. I said I liked the one I found. He said he didn't want to pay for it, I said my attorney already said that he would be asking for H to pay my fees since this is his idea and he makes 6 x my salary...
Wow it got ugly in a hurry. I am so lost. Feel like a newcomer. I have this irritating thing called faith that lets me keep naively wishing for things that won't happen. Like us getting back together. Now all I can sem to do is cry. H is bringing me the kids in 5 minutes and my face is so red...
I don't want to ever look at him or talk to him again. yet I know I will have to, we have 2 kids together who STILL want him to move back home.
I guess I don't know what to do. My attorney (not really mine, I just went to a 90 minute consult last October but never hired him) said that with H's company credit card and farm transactions, he suggested a forensic accountant to review all the financials. On one hand I want to do this thoroughly and make sure everything is by the book. I want him to feel the full ramifications of his decision, financially and logistically.
On the other part of me thinks, "He wants out so bad, just let him go. Make sure the kids get the $$ they need and let everything else go."
How can I still be bawling and devastated when this has been coming for 2 years?
Yes. This is the type of thing that hits you over and over in increments. You do need to detach. Hire whatever attorney you want, and let him or her do all the talking. You can't win by negotiating with him. He wants all the marbles all the time. Just let state laws take care of you. That's why they were passed. It's not up to Dan what the division is. It's up to the judge. So be it.
Thank you. I cried on and off for a couple of hours. Now I am calm.
I decided I am not going to speak a single other word about our situation to Dan unless it directly involves the kids and has be to dealt with. That narrows it down quite a bit. For example if they get sick or hurt and I feel he needs to know I will let him know. Otherwise, I am going to talk about logistical things with my lawyer. I will call him next week. That retainer will hurt, but if I don't use all the hours I get a refund. And he may ask Dan to pay for it anyway...
Time to remember that I am a strong, capable women with a lot of love to give the world. If H doesn't want it, I will share it with the other special people in my life. Focus on the positives and the blessings I do have. Plus the things I DO have control over. Which don't include my husband or his choices.
