He is worried that Dan is possibly using 'real' women at this point, because magazines and strippers are only fulfilling for a short amount of time and then a person requires more to get the same feeling.
I too wonder what he is up to on those business trips.
Some of the tricky part of enforcing consequences is that they can escalate hostilities in the short term.
No optimism here, either. I can only think of one possible scenario where he would want to try again.
He has his attorney appointment on Friday. When he gets in there and lays out all of his financials, high salary, 401K, etc etc.....then tells the guy I was a stay-at-home-mom who moved 9 times for his job opportunities, etc etc...
I can see where an attorney might tell him it was in his financial best-interests to try and work it out, esp. since he has a wife who has shown willingness to work it out.
I know back in December, right before Christmas, was when he was sending the cold text messages that we needed to stay together and work it out, that was b/c he found out he couldn't finance his house purchase without me. Then when I figured out that was his only motivation to work it out, that was when I agreed to sign off on the loan. I didn't want that to be the reason he tried again. Because it wouldn't work.
Same thing if he changes his mind because it would save him money...
But I doubt that will happen either. He has made his choice. He will have to live with that choice. And i will be okay. It will just take time.
He is worried that Dan is possibly using 'real' women at this point, because magazines and strippers are only fulfilling for a short amount of time and then a person requires more to get the same feeling.
I too wonder what he is up to on those business trips.
Some of the tricky part of enforcing consequences is that they can escalate hostilities in the short term.
Kerry,
I am sure there will be hostilities. My 6 year old throws fits when he doesn't get things the way he wants. I am sure my 35 year old will, too. I will be setting an appointment with my lawyer. Right now I am thinking I will wait until I see what H cooks up with his lawyer, and come up with our plan once I have seen Dan's. No reason to formulate a game plan if I can first have access to his...
Re. the business trips, my pastor actually used the words "That scares me" when I said Dan thought strippers were annoying. He said it is scary b/c that means he requires even more at this point most likely...
Re. the business trips, my pastor actually used the words "That scares me" when I said Dan thought strippers were annoying. He said it is scary b/c that means he requires even more at this point most likely...
The Porn is like any other addiction, the addict has to keep increasing the "drug" to get the high they are searching for. Strippers probably don't do it for him anymore because that excitement has worn off.
Sorry you and your kids are caught up in all of this, and Dan too for that matter.
went to Dr. today, finally...I have been having these weird, electric-shock-like shooting pains in my head for about 10-12 days. Actually I have had them in the past. They only last a few seconds but literally take my breath away when they do.
Anyway usually they come once or twice in a few days' time and then go away for months at a time. This time I have them more often, at least once a day for the past 10 days, one day I had a couple dozen.
So went to dr. and he is sending me tomorrow for a sleep-deprived eeg. No sleep until after the test at 8 am tomorrow. I will be awake part of the time and asleep part of the time.
He did physical tests in the office to try and see any signs of MS, but no physical weakness. I do have several aunts/uncles/cousins and a grandparent with epilepsy so that worries me...
Oh well no sense worrying until I get the results.
i don't like the sound of these shooting pains. I will be praying for a clean EEG. And you R'bergs are at the top of the list for prayer ..you are an adorable family ..and one that will experience a wonderful sweeping change by the mighty hand of God. Focussed prayers for Dan and for you to be recharged in faith and in health.
Another rough evening...shortly after the kids were put to bed, Nathan came out crying again. Missing his dad. Although his dad had just left; I had to work at school registration tonight so it was a 'dad' night.
Anyway he was upset and wanted to call his dad, so he did. Then he got off the phone and said he was still sad...I was honest with him, per the counselor's advice. Told him I was sad about it too, I missed Daddy too. Hugged him and sent him back to bed. Maybe once Dan has his house done and they can stay with him some nights it won't be as rough on him. Although he said then he will miss me...(sigh)
Almost 3 a.m. here, have to stay up all night before the EEG tomorrow. Dan offered to have his dad watch the kids. I said my mom was going to. The only thing lacking is, I am supposed to have someone drive me there/back since I will be sleep-deprived. But I didn't want my mom to go, she is such a worrier and would ask a bunch of dumb questions and stress me out...
Actually couldn't leave the hospital after my D was born b/c my blood pressure was up. I had Dan make my mom leave the hospital (subtly of course)...blood pressure was back to normal after 15 minutes! I love her but she cannot deal with anything calmly.
So I am driving myself. Dan said to call if I needed him but I am not going to. I won't contrive to get his attention anymore for anything.
Hopefully all will go smoothly tomorrow. Only thing I am concerned about is that after 1 hour awake, they want me to sleep. I just hope I am not too wired to sleep...
I love her but she cannot deal with anything calmly.