Well if he's pissy then it's his own fault and don't take any crap from him. Afterall you didn't have affairs and violate the marriage; you didn't move out of the house and leave the marriage and family; and you certainly didn't develop and pass the divorce and child support laws for the State of Iowa!
As you all know, today was the day Dan had an appt. with his attorney. I have no clue how it went as I have not asked...
Today I was out with the kids and he texted me at 5:30--"What are you and the kids doing and are you camping this weekend"
This is 'my' Fri/Sat with the kids, I also had them last night (Thurs). I had talked about going to the church campout Sat. night. However I since found out it was on someone's farm, not at a campground.
I have NEVER taken the kids camping alone and would prefer that the first time I do it somewhere with showers, bathrooms, etc etc. Plus the church people would ask "Where's Dan?" b/c I haven't told anyone at church except the pastor, and I am not in the mood to do that over a campout.
So I just replied back "We are going out to dinner later for Dad's birthday. Decided not to camp."
He replied back, "Ok, have fun"
No clue what he wanted. But I let him know we were busy...
Nice dinner, now I am putting kids to bed. Tomorrow my cousin invited me shopping with her and her SIL, Nathan will go play with my cousin's kids and her husband. Sydney will come along shopping. Good times.
I was just sliding into bed last night, half asleep, and heard my phone beep. Took a minute to register that it was a text message.
"Well, tell the kids goodnight"
Hello? It was 11:30. They were already asleep. And he hasn't called to say goodnight to them in forever. If they ask, I let them call him and say goodnight. If they don't ask, I don't make them call. Random.
What you write and your feelings are so familiar to me. I spent countless hours agonizing on the same types of things. Why does she text this or that...why this .... why that.....at the end of the day you need to somehow get away from that pattern. MAybe turn your mobile off after 9;00? If there is an emergency, folks can reach you at home. I don't know, even today texts and e-mails from Ex affect me (much less than they used to). they affect me in a way that bothers me. They take up more time, more of my thoughts than they should. I hope some of this made some sense to you.
I was just checking on those big storms you were talking about since I am still sitting here at the airport after having finished my flying week. Thay do look pretty nasty. Cumulonimbus cloud tops with vertical development of no less than 50000 feet. We do not get too many of those kinda storms around these parts.
They are cool to watch only from the ground. I wouldn't go anywhere near anything like that with my little airplane.
Are you getting any hail from the storm. It looks like that is probably the case.
As you all know, today was the day Dan had an appt. with his attorney. I have no clue how it went as I have not asked...
Today I was out with the kids and he texted me at 5:30--"What are you and the kids doing and are you camping this weekend"
This is 'my' Fri/Sat with the kids, I also had them last night (Thurs). I had talked about going to the church campout Sat. night. However I since found out it was on someone's farm, not at a campground.
I have NEVER taken the kids camping alone and would prefer that the first time I do it somewhere with showers, bathrooms, etc etc. Plus the church people would ask "Where's Dan?" b/c I haven't told anyone at church except the pastor, and I am not in the mood to do that over a campout.
So I just replied back "We are going out to dinner later for Dad's birthday. Decided not to camp."
He replied back, "Ok, have fun"
No clue what he wanted. But I let him know we were busy...
Nice dinner, now I am putting kids to bed. Tomorrow my cousin invited me shopping with her and her SIL, Nathan will go play with my cousin's kids and her husband. Sydney will come along shopping. Good times.
BBJ
Unless it is truly need to know info for Dan when he asks these questions, then no response is really necessary. IMO ..you are feeding in to the games that he wants to play. This ..being a dimwit dufus H and father from a distance and essentially in absentia is BS. Don't play along with it. Shut it down ..lights out on ole Danny boy. Let him try and find his way around in the dark. It is his choosing to be in the dark, so let him deal with it. Don't enable the behavior. I am not saying to be nasty but just let his distant voice trail off and fade. If he feels like the communinication is not what he would like it to be between himself and his family, then make him adjust what he is doing. Don't you be the one to make adjustments in what you are doing to make things better for him. He is not entitled to that luxury anymore. But if he wants it bad enough he will have to switch around what he is doing. Don't bend for him. Make him do all the lifting and the working. In due time we will know what he is constructing or destructing. It will be born out soon enough. You step back from his crap and let him do all the maneuvering ..whatever it might be.
Well, he called (again) this morning around 11. Asked what we were doing. I said Sydney and I were out with my cousin and her SIL having a girls shopping day. [We were about an hour from home at an outlet.]
He asked where Nathan was, I told him he was playing with my cousin's boys and her H. (T this was before I saw your msg. not to give him all the details!)
He said he bet that Nathan was having fun. I said we would be out most of the day...he was clearly angling to see when we were going to be around. I didn't tell him, I said we were out later and he asked me to call when we got back home...
Well I wasn't going to but it didn't matter. I got home and he was here already! Working on the kids' playset, in the rain. He hung out for a little while, Sydney showed him the cute clothes we got today.
I went about my business putting things away and then started making suppper for the kids. He got up and told me he was going to Home Depot to buy roofing for the kids' playset. (Why did he think I needed to know where he was going? Geez)
OK gotta go finish supper! I had a great day with the girls and got lots of good deals!
One thing I noticed but didn't really register before...
While Dan was here this evening I did show him pics on the digital camera from the kids and I on our fishing outing. There was a picture of me holding the fish and he asked me if Nathan took the picture. Duh, no one else came along on the trip, who else would have taken it?
Then I showed him 2 pics of Sydney with her first fish ever. He asked me if she caught it by herself, I said yes. I looked up and he was blinking back tears. Seriously. Guess he regrets missing her catch her first fish. Well, sad to say it won't be the last 'first' either of us misses...that's what happens when you break your family apart.
