I sense and have been heartily praying for a mega Dan tailspin that will send him crashing to earth in a big way. It is what needs to happen as you well know BBJ and the only way it will is if you stay rock soild to those boundaries that you have set and are enforcing so very well.
Keep going sis, keep pedalling faster away from him. You both are going to be made stronger people as a result .. that much I know.
if all he has left is the falsehood of the dark life he has been leading (cuz it is no secret that you are the really only true goodness to his life ..and the kids you provided him) by you removing yourself from the equation as you have been with awesome style ...then the man is going to crumble. pedal faster......
Thanks for the support, T. He goes to his attorney on Friday, I am curious how that will go. I am expecting he will be filing and he is lying to me that it is "just to get advice".
I did go myself once, just for advice/info. But as long as he has been dragging his feet about this I am thinking he wouldn't go to the lawyer unless he planned to file.
Sister, you sound FABULOUS! I am amazed at your resolve to GAL, do fun things for you and your kids and to become as uninvolved with Dan as you can. It's easier isn't it?
Don't you just feel proud of yourself for doing all the things that you have done this summer that are new? Your growing girl and it's evident in your post. I know that you want (love) D but you are proving to yourself you don't need D to complete you.
Keep up the good stuff and enjoy the final days of summer. I don't know where mine went!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Today was laid-back. Sydney and I hung out at home while her brother had a 'grandpa' day with FIL. I mowed while Sydney played in the yard, we wound up with 7 kids in the backyard on the playset. She is such a social butterfly!
I was cutting her some watermelon for lunch and the knife slipped through the rind and I cut a gash in my middle finger tip. It is still throbbing 9 hours later...worried I needed stitches but it stopped bleeding. Just hurts like heck!
MIL came and got Sydney at 6:30 to meet up with Dan, Nathan and FIL for dinner. They spent the evening at MIL/FIL house.
I was determined to go out but once I headed out I had no desire to go to the city...was going to go buy a few cute new shirts for my back-to-school wardrobe. So instead I just drove around town (after talking to my cousin on the phone until 8) and tried to process some things, gear myself up for the aftermath of Dan's meeting his lawyer on Friday.
Dan called me at 8:30, when I got home I saw he had called home first, then my cell. The big need? Apparently Sydney told him she couldn't go to preschool. So he called me at 8:30 just to ask, "Can Sydney not go to preschool? She said you told her she couldn't..."
I just laughed and said, "She can't TODAY." She had been asking me to go and I told her it didn't start for 2 weeks. She has no clue how long 2 weeks is...
Seriously. I can't believe he called to ask me if she really couldn't go to preschool. He knew I registered the kids Monday bc I told him I was listing his renovation house as his address on the paperwork since he didn't live with me anymore, I wasn't leaving my address for his contact info.
So anyway that was random. He was kind of hanging on the phone so I said, "Yep, she can go to preschool. Bye."
Anyway I drove around a little longer and found a dark spot to watch the meteor shower. Saw 4 'shooting stars' so that was cool. Got home and he was already there with the kids getting them ready for bed.
Just dawned on me I could have spent the evening fishing by myself...dang!
My cousin called as I was heading out to eat dinner. She wanted to chit chat and I haven't done that with her in months (used to be my best childhood friend). So I gave up and heated up one of my Nutri-System meals. You are right it wasn't great, but it was filling and better for my weight and my wallet than going out for Chinese like I was thinking...
Glad you are safe on the ground and not in the storms!
I noticed that you mentioned about taking time to be driving around in order to process things in anticipation of H's visit to the lawyer. Take it from me, it aint worth your getting all out of sorts over it. It takes me back to a year and a half ago when I first joined up on here. I was on edge and had the pins and needeles thing going on as i waited for the certified letter that was supposed to be on it's way.
I guess what I am trying to say is that had I known then what I now know, I wouldn't have driven myself bonkers over it. It wasn't in any way going to change my stance towards my M. I made a covenant bond ..a one flesh bond with my darling before God and family. I remember explaining this to my darling about a year ago when she & I went out to dinner. I told her about the DB boards and that I was associated with a bunch of guys who were choosing to stand on faith for the restoration of their M's. (I will be getting together with them once again this Tuesday btw). It was kinda neat to see her reaction to what I was telling her. Her initial knee jerk response was to question me as to whether or not the boards were just some kinda meet up place for people with broken hearts who were lonely ..or something along those lines. Jealousy runs rampant with her and so she asked if I was meeting women on DB and I quickly informed her that the objective and motivation of the site has nothing at all to do with providing some kinda of place to hook up broken hearted males and females. Once that was pushed aside, I am pretty sure she remarked that she respected the views that I was holding and the extent that Iwas going to try and restore the M. And then from there I think we started to touch upon very definete weak areas in our M and how they could be dealt with.
Mind you, this dinner out ocurred in celebration of her birthday last July and it was all of about less than three weeks after I had received the finalized D papers in the mail. Are we a peculiar couple or what??
So I also told her that the papers that the lawyers had a field day crafting and collecting a bunch of $$$ for meant nothing to me. She seemed interested to hear that but she was wondering what was going to change in our R in order to make it better.
I have pretty fond memories of that day cuz if I recall correctly she and I wound up christening my new truck in an extra special way. Yowzzer.
anyway ..that is way too much jibber jabber from me for one night.
guess it is not considered hijacking since you're my sis.
Kids had a campout in a tent on the living room floor last night.
Booked Nathan's party with my parents/siblings for the 30th (my anniversary)...we will be eating pizza and playing skee ball all afternoon to celebrate his seventh birthday. We bought the Star Wars plates and cups yesterday to take to the party.
Tonight we go to dinner with my parents for my dad's 64th birthday. (We have six birthdays and 2 anniversaries in August and that is just immediate family)
Sometime today Dan is meeting with his lawyer. Yuck. My attorney sis told me to wait and set an appt. with my attorney for after I get any paperwork from Dan. Since I am not going to file no sense wasting billable hours until I know what I am up against.
I told her he said his cost $1500 whereas my retainer will be $3800. She said, "Guess he didn't pick a very good one" and that of course he would wind up paying for mine b/c it is his choice to file, and b/c he makes so much more money. Of course he told me he was 'just going for advice, not putting them on retainer or anything' but I doubt it...
I just keep wondering when he will file, what he is telling this attorney. I wish I could be a fly on that wall... I need to be prepared that he might be pissy after the meeting if he hears how expensive this whole thing could be.
OK need to stop thinking about it and go outside with the kids for awhile.
Is it crazy that I want to drive off by myself with no kids, no friends, just me, and find a quiet peaceful place? No idea what I would do when I got there...
