Prepare yourself for a long ride LR1. Wait it out and be patient. These things don't usually last forever.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Don't get too down or for too long, for a whole bunch of reasons, starting with the kids.
Don't rule out Retrovaille b/c you saw 2 steaks, or thought you did, on her grill. So what? Ask her....what have you got to lose? And Look how much power you gave the steaks on a grill image.
"Bet that means it was OM and then they had great sex and all she thought the WHOLE time was how much she hates you and how much she loves him..." NOT!! He has no job, he is a coach, not a dad, he is NOT a good catch but he pays attention to her and got her pity, and you guys have some issues in the m. FIX your part of "the issues" and don't worry so much about that guy. He's not the man she'll run off with unless I'm way way off. If so, she's not well...he ain't a good catch and how else can I say that? He is not a famous author or Wall Street big shot, he's more or less a semi-failure right? I mean honestly...
I know it hurts badly, but you are giving THAT OM too much credit...imo. Hang in there and don't assume so much negatively. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Right now I don't believe she would go to Retrovaille. I just looked it up and there is one upcoming a couple of hours away in September. I went by the house today and saw that she grilled out steaks for two last night and I am 99% sure it was the OM. I just can't wrap my mind around this and why? What is the attraction? I also found a love poem written by him to her. Its unbelievable right now. I was doing pretty good until today, I am so down right now!
STOP, STOP, STOP obsessing about your wife. It is NOT constructive, and it will get you nowhere.
I was serious when I told you to read Kevin's thread, and do the opposite. This is typical Kevin, mind-reading, projecting, etc.
Focus on YOU and the kids.
Detach, detach, detach.
There's a good link reagarding loving detachment -- I'll post it here if I can find it.
I think it would be a true 180 for you say to your W, Enough. You've been in charge too long and frankly, I hate how you're running things....IMO, you're running things into the ground.
I am doing better today. Yesterday was a little better than Saturday. It was hard for me to see that stuff and then have my mind go to places I didn't want it to, but I got over it. Sunday I took the kids to play mini-golf and to the mall. Overall, it was a pretty good weekend. One small setback was when I took the kids back home on Sunday I didn't call ahead and just showed up. This was not calculated, I am just not in the habit of having to call ahead to actually show up at my home. But she was in a heated discussion with her parents on the phone and had been crying. She walked out of the bedroom with the phone to her ear and I shook my head which was a big mistake. She got really ticked off at me and got after me pretty good. I did apologize for doing that and then things got better. We had a talk with D11 about not playing basketball this year and just sticking with dance which she has 3 nights per week in addition to her starting 5th grade which will be harder and more homework. She makes really good grades but she does getting frustrated at times with all she has to do so we are just trying to free up some time and pressure for her.
Hey DW Tried to find your posts, but couldn't.... where you be?
New names....those are fun. I like something with "Dish" in it. A serious throwback to Garbo and Monroe. And I mean "Dish" as in you're delicious. Maybe we need to acknowledge the metaphor implies women are just objects to be consumed by men, but I want to argue that the term conveys that women are something you need to survive. And we all know that's the truth.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
