Myabe he's frustrated and angry at the sitch he finds himself in and the guilt that its his fault, and seeing as he is pretty emotionally stunted.. he phones and balls you out for it. Seems like par for the course with Dan Bobbi. Sorry he decided to file, but perhaps you will be better off in the long run and out of limbo at least, which is a killer hey. Al xxx
(John, my sister's kids will smell something bad or see something gross and 'will themselves' to puke. Dan has seen them do it. Last week, Dan had the kids and I was out. When I got back, Sydney was on the couch saying 'I need to puke' over and over. Dan said she had come and asked him for a 'puke bowl'. Yes, when my kids have already thrown up once, I give them a big tupperware bowl to sit by them in case it happens again. But I don't do it until they have already puked, I don't encourage them to do so! But it doesn't matter, b/c HE has decided that I do...)
His texts just say:
* he cannot/will not deal with 'this' any longer.
*We will talk details this week
*He has nothing good in his life except his two children.
*And his resentment/anger/hate (his words) for me are spilling over and wrecking his time with them
*He WAS happy once, when he didn't have to deal with women
Our pastor would pick up on the 'women' comment. Dan told me 20 months or so ago, "I hate women". It was in a text and had something to do with OW was being manipulative, etc b/c he tried to break it off with her, he thinks all women have hidden agendas, etc. As a woman, I have no leg to stand on apparently. I just hope he understands that one day Sydney will be a woman...
The more you write about Dan, the more I am convinced that you are better off with him out of your life! I really mean that BBJ. This man is not well. You should go dark on him not to get him back but just to get away! Sorry I am just being brutally honest...I do not mean to be insensitive BBJ.
It's ok. I know you are right and I decided to pull the plug and go pitch dark already.
It is just tearing my heart out that my babies want their daddy to come home, and he won't. I cannot stand that he says they are the most important thing in his life and yet he won't try to stay married to their mom, which is the most important thing in their life, they want their mommy and daddy to be together.
I feel like a newbie, I am feeling so sad today. I don't know why-- I have seen it coming all along but I knew that the kids and I wanted this to work, we are 3/4 of the equation. Why the hell don't our votes count!!?!
He is so messed up and that is what makes me the most miserable and torn up inside. YOU guys see he is a mess, my pastor sees he is a mess, his friends and family see it, etc etc etc. But I worry most that he will go to his grave never realizing it was HIM all along...that he will blame me until the day he dies. What will that do to my kids to have their dad hate their mom?
All kids want their parents to stay together. I had similar concerns about D8. Luckily things "seem" to be working out with her. I think the key is for you guys to be civil when you are together and also that your kids see a happy BBJ. Hopefully that will be enough. I feel for you BBJ...really I do. Even though we see stuff coming, we do not always belive it and it still hurts.
BULLSHIT Bbj, Dan hating YOU is the last thing to worry about. He doesnt hate you. He is taking out his issues on you. He is USING that to convince you and himself why he is unable to make things work. Why he is unwilling.
stbxH did the same things 3 years in the middle of his affair. Shouting "I cant take this anymore" and yelling at my D who was then 3,5. I thought it was work, his mom's death, mental issues etc etc You know now, as I do too what it was.
Dont buy that dramatic stuff. He is f@cked up in the head and he is a poor sample of a man and father but he certainly knows who and what is wrong with the picture better than you do.
Dont wait for him to "talk details" with you. Enough Bbj. K
