Not much time, Nathan hounding me for his turn at "Webkinz" on the computer...
1)Boss LOVED me! OK not his exact words, but he said that we 'agreed on a lot of philosophical points' re. teaching/ESL stuff. And he said he was 'impressed with your organization and attention to detail'. He also said he would consider me both the ESL teacher AND the ESL Coordinator. So I am (partly) my own boss! Of course, I check in with him, but he is letting me run it how I see fit for the time being.
Also, he said that they are down 1 TAG teacher since school let out. Apparently at the Admin. meeting a couple of administrators I worked with last year recommended me to help out b/c they have seen my skills and willingness to be a team player. So he asked me, IF I have extra time after I set up my ELL Service Schedule, if I would like to also work with TAG kids at the elementary level...if not they will get a long-term sub. My choice depending on my case load.
SOOOOO.....I am not fired. Gotta remind myself not to go borrowing trouble.
2. Re. Dan--It just started hitting me b/c I do remember real, genuine conversations, when we were close. Letters that had real meaning, not just 'fluff' stuff. I choose to believe those WERE real and that his character just eroded over time and that part of him has disappeared. Maybe forever, maybe not. But I cannot resurrect it, that would have to be his doing when/if he decides to do it.
3. Relationships in future--I know I am a loving giving person and some nice man out there would LOVE to have me and my great kids in his life. But I also know
**I will NEVER have any more children. I know, never say never. But regardless of the happy blended families I hear about, I will not go there. I am not going to risk my kids worrying that I like my 'new kids' better. Heard too many bad situations on Dr. Laura to go through that...
**I have no plans of getting together with anyone until my kids are much older. As a teacher, I was reviewing forms from ALL pre-k through 5th grade last night. Several hundred kids. It is amazing how many had one last name, their mom another, their dad/guardian another. Three last names in one family, wow.This is not to say that I would rule out going on some PMA-boosting outings in the future. But no serious relationship until my kids are much, much older.
OH well, that is putting cart before the horse, isn't it?
((((((BobbiJo)))))) I guess that was the opposite of getting fired!
I think you are right to think that things were real. For one thing, I think they probably were. And for another, what's to gain by making assumptions on things you can never know?
When you are ready, I am sure that a great person will find you. Until then, you and your kids are a pretty good gang as it is!
I will let you borrow one of mine Maria and then you may want to rethink that! Truth be told you never know until you get there. How many of us said we would never put up with being cheated on and yet here we are trying to save our marriages. Again, you just never know.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It is normal for you to think this way at this stage. You are still in the "in" stage (or at least I think you are). I told Maria not too long ago that I will never remarry nor move in with someone. I am sticking to that plan. I think one can have a pretty good relationship without necessarilly living under the same roof. But hey that is my opinion at today. Eventually, you will want to meet people and who knows, maybe you will be as lucky as some of us. You may meet someone who alos tried more than most to save their marriage and who has the same values as you and who is compatible and who thinks you are great. You may not want other kids but you will fall in love again. You guys are young...plenty of time to rebuild! Another thing I told maria and will undoubtedly tell D8 when she gets a little older. History has a way of repeating itself...so keep your eyes open....if your potential partner has less than favourable habits, there is a good chance that this type of behaviour will continue. I am starting to sound old....or experienced.
Hey BBJ.. in regards to Dr. Laura whom I respect very much/.... all the people she talks with have problems ... that's why they call. I know plenty of blended families that are thriving. Just keep that in mind.. although I wouldn't "date" in front of my kids either... I would introduce them to someone I really cared about eventually.
But yes, cart before the horse and all that but hey... a few dangling carrots might be nice!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
In the mood of dangling carrots.....I peeked at Match.com tonight. Not near ready, just curious if my neck of the woods was all frogs or some princes...
Saw one cute guy, profile matched mine 90%...a K-6 PE teacher who likes running, etc etc...Christian...
Wait a minute...99% sure he is the older brother of a guy I graduated with! Very cute/smart/nice, but strange coincidence.
Oh well. I am not looking anyway. More like window shopping in Beverly Hills. Fun to see what's in the store but you don't actually go inside!
Mish: TAG stands for Talented and Gifted. So I will spend 2/3 of my time with English Language Learners (ELL/ESL), and 1/3 with Talented and Gifted (TAG). Education is great, we have acronyms for everything!
OK am I terrible....I got on Match.com! I thought a long time about what John said, am I in, or out?
Well, I am not ALL in, and I am not ALL out. But I guess being a little bit in is like a little bit pregnant...
Looking at the facts of my situation, I know I need to be out. There is a lot of fear, that my kids will be hurt, they already are hurt. That it will be scary to tell people I am separated/divorced. I have started 'coming out' slowly to family and a few friends, I chose to put Dan's new house address on all of Nathan and Sydney's school forms. Last year I just put my address.
So anyway I signed up on match but haven't joined (paid any $). I just wanted to browse the profiles. For whatever reason I find it comforting to see guys who seem normal (!), or at least like me, even if that isn't normal!
So although I am a long long way from dating anyone, I think it is good for me to see that there are real, local men out there who could be decent guys...
On an unrelated note, Dan picked up the kids last night to go camping. He showed up at 6:40 and the campsite is an hour from here. I had the kids' bag packed and sleeping bags out on the sidewalk so he didn't need to come in.
He came in anyway, was searching garage for his tackle box. No clue where it is and I didn't help him look. He was very short and pissy. Clearly very stressed about packing/loading up for the trip by himself.
Anyway he texted me twice at 11:30. First one 'sorry for the misdirected anger, was very stressed, tense and painful' I assume b/c of his separated shoulder and loading up camping gear himself.
Then another one 'tent finally up - kids fell asleep while I was still building it - they looked kinda cut - D had to pee outside with my help goodnight'
This is what wears me out. That he says he cannot deal with me anymore then he sends me messages like that. So obv he is thinking of me at 11:30 at night, yet he can't stand me!
OK gotta go, lots of work to do today. Yard work time!
Gotta remind myself not to go borrowing trouble.
