He only can't stand you at the times he can't stand you. The rest of the times, you're fine. And besides, it has nothing to do with you.
Thanks, Sara! I know in my heart that 95% of his problems/issues/whatever have NOTHING to do with me. I guess I just still let it get to me that HE doesn't own up to it. But if he did, we wouldn't be here, right? Duh
Just spent 2 hours in the yard. I love mowing and weeding. Very much like therapy for me, you start with an out of control mess and wind up with beauty and order...for a few days anyway.
Dan sent a text this morning. Just letting me know they were okay, eating breakfast, ready to go fishing. Um, ok. There wasn't a question so I didn't send back an answer.
Tried on half my closet last night, sorting clothes for back to school. Getting excited! I am down 9 pounds so far, not a lot but enough that some tight clothes aren't tight anymore.
So I went ahead and put a picture up on Match. I know it is too soon that I am not ready yet but I consider it a GAL/PMA activity. Have gotten a few emails already. Only replied to one guy and we have traded a couple messages. Nothing serious. But nice to know there is a life out there if I decide I want one...
I know many others will say it is too early for you to date. I think it is a good idea for you to pursue this in whatever time frame you feel comfortable with. First of all, you have spent years trying to work with Dan and his weird personality, to no avail. You need to stop beating your head against a brick wall, and see some sunshine in your life. And secondly, if there is anything that may influence Dan, it will be seeing you really move on. But I am not saying to do this to make Dan have a response. I'm just saying that it could be something that Dan will respond to. At that time you will have a choice to either continue with the divorce and find love with a new man, or going back with Dan. And it is better to have a choice, than to have no choice. Right now, you have no choice. If you start dating, you will have the ability to choose to love a new person, and perhaps the choice to go back with Dan.
Exactly Sara... I was trying to find a way to say that moving forward, out of limbo, is different than moving ON. But this journey is the way to go no matter where you end up.
The beauty of this course of action is that it doesn't matter if you decide you are "in" or just want Dan to eventually find the tools to be a role model for his son and father to a daughter.
Either way you need to just get out of his way so he has one less voice in his head to deal with.
I agree with our friend DiDi. I have always really preferred moving Forward to moving ON. And I think that's what you are trying to do. I think it kind of helps to know that there are some "normal" people out there, when the time comes. I think we know it in our heads, but it's nice to see it with our eyes.
I vote yes, too. Surely you can find a babysitter?
Now, going for drinks doesn't mean anything you don't want it to mean. Be clear, be direct, be honest and just enjoy the attention. When my H and I were having issues, I had a male friend who just lavished the attention on me...and I ate it up it felt so good. It helped me remember who I was and that H wasn't the only fish in the sea. It helped with detaching.
So good, enjoy a drink, enjoy some conversation, and have a good time.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
