That guy will show up once he reads the petition. And when he finds out that an investigative accountant is being used, I would imagine that he will be a mean foul mouthed Dan.
Been away for awhile now... helping get thru mom's stuff and affairs but WOW.
There is only one thing that is predictable here and it's DAN. I think you finally figured it out...
He seems to be "cycling" faster these days... with his good Dan, bad Dan persona.... he use to move slower on those changes but man he is minute to minute....
I agree with everyone else... hold your cards close, don't trust him, and move forward. Dan needs lots of fixin and just like you told him... you don't think he has it in him and the consensus here doesn't think so either.
He is a manipulator and he really needs help.
Mike- I predict Angry Martyr D will show up the first time Bobbi goes out with someone.
I think Dan is going to have a real big problem not being able to CONTROL Bobbi like he always has.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Last night he texted me...he had said he didn't want D and I said I hadn't seen any reason to try again.
He replied back
"The best two reasons are sleeping across the hall from you"
"His own dog and a house on the farm are almost enough" (re. Nathan)
I told him that when I had said something similar re. the kids he said they couldn't be the only reason, and he was right.
Can't believe he will say the kids are the reason now, when I said that he said I was manipulating him...
He emailed me this morning, it was Sydney's first day of preschool. He said she looked so big, it made him sad.... and he put this symbol he made with puntucation marks to look like he was crying....
Yeah, but no actions there, still just words. So, moving along...
I think you need to set soem firm boundaries now...really firm BBJ...
I think you need to get real serious and set some boundaries as far as his visitation..and his ability just to come and go as he pleases...
he seems to have had a free ride about coming and going....his actions will determine where this goes..pulling on your heartstrings and using the kids as an excuse will not..
I would like to see if he can figure that out on his own..
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 09/01/0903:19 PM.
I just told him 'actions, not words' or something to that effect.
I spent 18 months reading, looking up counselors, retreats, etc etc. I am not spoon feeding him. Last time he wanted back I told him everything I needed and he drug his feet like a kid with chores.
Not this time. If he wants things to be different, he has to do the work. Otherwise, not good enough.
"The best two reasons are sleeping across the hall from you" Where have they been sleeping for the last few years???? How about the person still sleeping in the same bed without her husband? Is that the third reason fourth fith or not even a reason? He is lucky that you even speak with him. I sense a change in you BBJ. I do not know what the final trigger was but I am glad that you finally have reached this point (regardless of the outcome). you sound alot stronger.
“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
Quote:
If he wants things to be different, he has to do the work. Otherwise, not good enough.
well..next time he calls or texts I would let him know that while he "works" on things..that big "train" called "divorce" is leaving the station and it won't be deterred..
Bbj, I was sucked back in the situation, a year ago by a man that sounded almost like Dan. stbxH said more words and even declared his love for me back then. If you remember I was telling you guys there was no passion or determination nor hapinness while he was trying to make me decide to agree. Reconciling is hard enough when both partners are on board, imagine how successful it would be when one of them is...not there with his heart. If you want to know, read my last thread.
Maybe, just maybe, (and there is regret there for me) if you keep on doing what you are doing, you will get soon (-er than I did) the replies you re looking for. As your friend, I am telling you NOT to back down at this point. Just as mike says, firmer boundaries and stronger Bbj. And as Bill used to tell me, have no doubt, he knows what he needs to do and towards whome. K
