Yep you guys are right. It is called unconditional love. I am very happy that I was never really close to anyone in my XW's family......other then the stepdaughters. But they have remained "loyal". Which is absolutelly normal. They do not agree with what transpired but...
Dr. appt was first, I have "occipital neuralgia". Inflammation/misfire of occipital nerve. She shot me up with lidocaine, that was pleasant! She also put me on Cymbalta to help with tension/stress bc that causes the flare-ups to intensify, which is why that had gotten so bad.
Lawyer appt was second. I put down my retainer $3200. Ouch!!! They are going to ask Dan for it back though. 50/50 chance I will get it paid for by Dan, depends on the judge.
Didn't file today, I will go back later this week for that. Just gave them all the vital statistic stuff they need to write it up. I will go back and sign it and bring them stuff they wanted that I didn't have with me. Account #s, balances if I have them, kids social security #s, etc.
Chances are it will get expensive. Atty wants to hire a special accountant to review Dan's finances and see if he is hiding money/assets anywhere. Once I file they will move to freeze his 401K and prevent him from "wasting marital assets".
In other purely coincidental news...
Dan showed up last night (our Anniversary) to hang w/the kids for an hour before bed, and put them to bed. He came out, and then said he didn't want a divorce. He needed to decide whether he wanted to make it work but he didn't want a divorce. I told him it wasn't up to him anymore.
He said he thought it would not be hard IF he decided he wanted to make it work, it was a matter of deciding and sticking to it. I said IF he decided and IF I decided I would let him have a chance, it would be the hardest work he ever did and would require more of him than he probably had to give.
Did I mention he was still seeing her periodically? Yeah, those weren't "phantom" charges in the bank statement after all. But of course, he can turn that off on a dime if he 'decides he wants to'......whatever pal.
I said thanks for sharing but I am still going to the attorney. Words mean absolutely nothing to me now.
I cannot believe he said that "it would not be hard if he decided he wanted to make it work" - what kind of statement is that??? I just had to shake my head when I read it.
IMO he's saying he doesn't want a divorce because he now knows how much it is going to cost him. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to drag it out so that he can do some asset hiding.
I am impressed by your attitude. Sorry to hear about the nerve flare up.
I agree with others in that you need to keep your cards close to you. Any details spoken between you and the L should remain confidential. You probably should not even post such details here.
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
He said he thought it would not be hard IF he decided he wanted to make it work, it was a matter of deciding and sticking to it.
I hope you were wearing hip waders when he said this, because there is a heavy flow of BS coming out his mouth now.
Yes, Kerry, it was amusing on some levels...ridiculous on others.
How many addicts/alcoholics will say "I can stop when I want to, I just don't want to?"
Shortly after his comment that it would be easy once he made a firm decision, he said this re. meeting ow the night he went to Northern Missouri to deliver embryos.
"It wasn't planned. The only thing I was going to Maryville for was the embryos. I had no intentions of going to KC when I left" (KC is 90 min from Maryville)
So, if it wasn't planned, then doesn't that mean he CAN'T control it on his own???? If it would be easy then he wouldn't have flip-flopped like this...
My attorney told me I need to ask him if he wants served personally or for them to send it to his attorney. That is the only part of my plans I will share with him. The rest is my business and not his. That's what this part, the legal part, it. Taking care of business. Or as they say in Jerry Maguire, it's not "show friends", it's "show business"...
Bbj, please go ahead. IF there is chance he will decide to work, that will be it. What he says at this point, YOU KNOW in your heart is just BS. His statement about deciding etc etc was insulting. So, it is easy all along but he doesnt do it because...? He doesnt love you? It' snot worth it? What is this?
He needs some good beating is all I have to say. K
Dan's conversation was full-on nutjobbery, I tell ya. He thought he'd drop that on you, and you'd back off and take the little Dan dribbles he sent your way. And then he came clean about OW too? Wow.
I agree that IF (and a really, really big IF) there's any chance of Dan changing and "choosing" to work on things, it will be because you keep moving forward and calling BS on his act.
You sound clear...good for you!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
IF he decided he wanted to make it work, it was a matter of deciding and sticking to it. I said IF he decided and IF I decided I would let him have a chance, it would be the hardest work he ever did and would require more of him than he probably had to give. 