Sorry Bbj. Reading OW's emails gave me a clear insight to what she was going thru. NOT very happy times. But then again, I was having harder times and my kids much much worse! I can also understand him feeling upset. But..., what can we do? Let him own his feelings. If you guys are to make it together, he needs closure with her. Once and for all. K
Is this the same OW that drove slowly in a stalking manner, with the stereo blaring out some love song, in front of the house you and Dan both lived in? If so, it is a good thing she does not know about DBing techniques and not putting so much pressure on.
That is going to be one very difficult phone call for you to listen to and remain silent. Especially, for what I suppose she could say to him. I have no pity for any man or woman that would try to take anothers spouse.
Is this the same OW that drove slowly in a stalking manner, with the stereo blaring out some love song, in front of the house you and Dan both lived in? If so, it is a good thing she does not know about DBing techniques and not putting so much pressure on.
That is going to be one very difficult phone call for you to listen to and remain silent. Especially, for what I suppose she could say to him. I have no pity for any man or woman that would try to take anothers spouse.
Stay strong BobbiJo.
Yes. She drove by our house in KC after he ended it last time. It would take her no effort to 'google' me or Dan, we have a very rare last name, so she could find out addresses and phone numbers very easily if she chose to do so.
She apparently was calling and texting repeatedly over the weekend and on Tuesday. He claims he hasn't answered any of her attempts at contact which is upsetting her.
However I have heard zero from Dan today. He said he was going to make the call this morning when we spoke last night. Maybe he put it off to tonight when I get back from night class, I don't know. I am not sure how I could listen in to his phone call with her while I am at work...
If he doesn't communicate with me tonight, then he is just playing games with me and I will be filing tomorrow.
I think it's very wise to hold his feet to the fire and not let him off the hook on this. If he backslides it will telegraph his true lack of commitment to really saving the marriage. Sure it's going to be an unpleasant thing for him to have to do, but it pales to the unplesantness you have endured during this whole situation.
Thinking of you too Bobbi.. I wouldnt be so cynical, even if he bottles it and 'cant go through with it' today, it sounds like Dan has realised this is a VERY unhealthy attachment they have and like K's husband, no doubt cant stand her anymore and the hold she had over him....I feel things generally are coming to a head, I can sense it, I was posting to K about it.
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Sorry Bobbi I know its not your thing, but Priya Kale explains things far more eloquently than I can!
"By Thursday around mid-day on the East Coast of North America the Moon moves into Gemini, as we head towards Pluto’s direct station on Friday. It will also square the Aries Point and Juno on Friday, so expect relationships and world events to reach a turning point. Pluto stationed retrograde on Apr. 4, 2009. Look back at your life then and see what seemed to suddenly go underground. Pluto is slow moving planet, but its effect is anything but mellow. There has been an inner transformation underway whether we’ve been conscious of this or not. Stop looking at past ruins and focus instead on the gold there is to be mined now.
Pluto stations direct at 00+ Capricorn, occupying the degree it did on Dec. 15, 2008. It would also be helpful to think back to this time and what was going on. Pluto’s energy is intense — astrologically it represents primal forces of sex, life and death. Right now it may truly feel like something inside has died. There has been a necessary breakdown of structures and rules during this phase. Now we get a chance at resurrection of something that began then but needed time to evolve."
I would say looking at Dan's predilictions and behaviour, he is either very Pluto led personally, or has been under the influence of a pretty major Pluto transit this past few years. Trust the process underway...
Sorry Bobbi I know its not your thing, but Priya Kale explains things far more eloquently than I can!
"By Thursday around mid-day on the East Coast of North America the Moon moves into Gemini, as we head towards Pluto’s direct station on Friday. It will also square the Aries Point and Juno on Friday, so expect relationships and world events to reach a turning point. Pluto stationed retrograde on Apr. 4, 2009. Look back at your life then and see what seemed to suddenly go underground. Pluto is slow moving planet, but its effect is anything but mellow. There has been an inner transformation underway whether we’ve been conscious of this or not. Stop looking at past ruins and focus instead on the gold there is to be mined now.
Pluto stations direct at 00+ Capricorn, occupying the degree it did on Dec. 15, 2008. It would also be helpful to think back to this time and what was going on. Pluto’s energy is intense — astrologically it represents primal forces of sex, life and death. Right now it may truly feel like something inside has died. There has been a necessary breakdown of structures and rules during this phase. Now we get a chance at resurrection of something that began then but needed time to evolve."
I would say looking at Dan's predilictions and behaviour, he is either very Pluto led personally, or has been under the influence of a pretty major Pluto transit this past few years. Trust the process underway...
