Hey Bobbi.. could it be linked to some indiscretion with ow? Or, using company time/funds and hotels, or is she linked to work in some way? My bf wanted to leave his job too when we reconciled and said he was going to quit and asked me to move to another city, 2 hours drive away. I said yes... but turns out he just wanted to break with the past and the memories of the time he had spent miserable and with ow and now she is history, he is happy at work again.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
That is possble I don't know if they do an audit or anything. But when he confessed to me (or more accurately, acknowledged what I told him I supsected), he did say that she had met him on more than one of his trips.
Sooo, let me get this straight. He confessed he has been seeing this woman for ..how long now? And they were thinking of moving in together? And she went with him on trips? WOW, sounds familiar!!!
And yes, I see what you are saying about him SAYING he will do things but that is different than actually doing them. And it does sound fishy that he reacts this way the moment you seemed determined to file. But maybe this was his wake up call? Time will tell.
One thing to remember: he pulled closer the moment you pulled away. Dont surrender your guns yet sweetie, Dan is a serial cheeter and has hurt you too many times. Proceed with caution and do NOT ingnore your gut feelings. Good luck and I really wish for you this time to be the real thing... love K
My gut told me she was back in the picture in late spring (March/April). Can't remember why. Some reaction he had to something I said, the attitude/anger, something. As soon as it happened, I thought "This is how he acted when he was cheating".
Even now I remember the moment I felt that way, even though I don't remember what happened exactly. Turns out that is when they started up again...
So I will pay more attention to my gut. Right now it isn't convinced, not by a long shot. But it tells me to watch and see and I will know very soon if it is just a pile of bull...
That's right.... the gut knows... remember I thought something was "hinky" last fall and that was when he had the secret "closure" phone call.
Now the confusing part is, now I don't have the gut feeling but the betrayal feeling is still there....LOL
It gets confusing sometimes with those "feelings" cause sometimes they are in your head.... so again those actions are gonna show you.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Tomorrow is the day for the convo. with ow to end it.
We spoke on the phone tonight and he was crabby. Not at me, he was clear to say. Crabby about the impending call. And the fact that she has been calling and texting him over the weekend and today. He says he has not answered her calls or replied to her texts. And she is getting increasingly upset and wants to know why he isn't responding. She wants to see him.
This is upsetting him b/c it is upsetting her, I am sure.
I asked him what his actual plan/intentions were. I asked him if this was just a break he was taking while he saw whether or not we could make it work.
He said in no uncertain terms, this is not just a break. This is it. [I know, he said that before]
This time he said it is about me but also the other (several) factors why it would never work. Including the fact that his family would never accept her, he doesn't want to be involved with her son and doesn't want her involved with our kids, etc etc. So his general attitude was that he understood why he was doing it, knew it was necessary, but didn't mean he had to be happy about it. I don't like it but I get it.
I asked him a little about his job and he said he is just sick of the entire business but since he didn't have any other job options right now he would stick it out, he had no choice. But he didn't really want to talk about it tonight. It was pretty clear that the messages he has been getting the past couple days are really weighing on him.
And yes I know that I should not be worried about that. I can imagine the replies I will get "sucks to be her", "she shouldn't have gotten involved w/a married man in the first place", "she wasn't worried about your feelings", etc etc
I am not worried about her feelings. More that I get how much he is dreading the conversation. Although I did say to him, "I get that you are concerned about hurting her, but I wonder did the two of you ever get so concerned about how much what you were doing was hurting me". And he acknowledged that was a fair point.
OK off to bed. Tired and have a massive headache. This part sucks.
