"last night, from Canada, he told her that he wants his family back. He doesn't want to live without us."
Wow Bobbi, thats great!! Its not just words though, he is moving through a process and starting to now VERBALISE what he wants (action may take longer, yes) and more importantly, he has voiced it to his Mum.. and thats a big deal. Mums are usually on a need to know basis hey, so if he feels able to tell her, its a big step I would say. My bf told BMF in late January he knew it was over with Helen, he would never love her, missed me and wanted back what we had, wanted to recreate it again...I luckily found that out, like you have, but he still didnt even PHONE me until late March and then saw me (2 months later). There were then delays whilst he worked alongside her March and April and couldnt face the ordeal of ending it, despite he says, knowing what he wanted and desperately worrying I would meet someone else in that time...and so didnt finish with ow until beginning of May.. so it took him over 4 months from when the penny dropped!
I hung in there and I remember posting alot getting very frustrated and like you, thinking.. more words, when he is finally going to 'turn' as the db process calls it?? It was nothing to do with me.. his BMF advised me.. just keep doing what you are doing, keep just being you..because thats what he misses.
I am rooting for you! Keep the faith.. Oh and I read this and thought of you (Priya, yesterday):
With the Earth dangling between Saturn and Uranus as they exact their opposition today, we can expect shake-ups in the order of things. Uranus is the planet that represents the new, the flash of lightning that in one swoop lights the landscape so we can see the road ahead even on a dark stormy night. Saturn is the planet that represents structure — that which is taking form. It also represents the gateway between the past and the future, slowing us down to learn the lessons of the present.
Pisces is a water sign, its energy is lucid, ethereal, imaginative and what we call cosmic consciousness. Virgo its opposite sign is an earth sign that reflects this energy on an earthly, material plane. It is also the sign of healers and those that serve selflessly, doing God’s work — but this is true of each of us depending on where we have Virgo in our charts.
As Saturn in Virgo now opposes Uranus in Pisces we are learning to manifest soulful values into earthly form. We are also in the dark of the Moon as the New Moon in Virgo conjuncts and triggers this opposition in the next couple of days, and this aspect is seeding the energy. In the midst of what can be considered chaos is our chance to carve a ground breaking path catapulting us into the future.
...seems like Dan had his lightning bolt moment before he called up his Mum?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
T....are you really saying that BBJ should continue to allow Dan to disrespect her in this way? There is a limit...even in God's eyes. He hates D, but he allows it in cases such as this.
sweet mish
I hope you are doing well. I haven't dropped by your DB abode in some time. I will have to do that.
Now, I am perplexed as to how my brief remarks might have been taken the way that they were by you. I am an incredibly staunch advocate in M, perhaps a degree more than the average person on here, but I do not use a "read between the lines" communication style. Therefore I was neither implying or stating that BBJ should never throw in the towel on her M. Even if I were, BBJ is the one fully and completely in control of her life and her decisions. And she is doing pretty darn amazing at it through every twist and turn that has unfortuantely been apart of her journey. She realizes where her amazingness comes from and I think that is fantastic. I so admire the faith in her Lord that she has continaully shown. I am sure the Lord is noticing her steadfast love for Him.
Whatever takes place with you and your family BBJ, I am sure it will be magnificent. I know the Lord has great plans to prosper you. I wait here excited to watch them unfold. May you be blessed in every way.
Eek T! I didn't mean to sound so hostile about it. I'm just so upset for BBJ and the crap Dan keeps pulling on her because he knows how to keep her dangling. It's too reminicent of my own struggle so it really hits home. Didn't mean to sound ugly in my post. Just wanted clarity which you have amply given - THANKS!
How are you doing today BBJ?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I am doing ok. Dan texted me this morning that he is 'freaking out' though...
Last night I was pretty much ready to throw up. I admit I cried like a baby the whole way home from the attorney's office. I mean, signing that form says that I am asking the courts to dissolve my marriage. Which is so counterintuitive since I want my marriage...
I was still shaking an hour later after I got home. However I keep reminding myself that I didn't want this, and that he had the opportunity to back up his words with actions and he didn't. As a matter of fact, he got hostile when I even asked him about it. So I do believe it was the right thing to do, going and signing the petition.
What you did yesterday was one of the most difficult things you have ever had to do. But I think it was the right thing. It puts you in control and makes you stronger in feeling like you are not going to stand by and put up with his cheating and lack of love towards you.
Dan and Kalni's H should get together and have a pity us party. They get no pity from me though.
I feel for you....but all you did is fire off a warning shot. If he does not react to this than you really know there is no hope. As others mentionned here, if he wants back in, he should be doing cartwheels to get your attention. Not stalling for whatever reason. Anyhow, it sounds like stalling from where I am sitting. Like T said, you are more than capable of seeing what is going on and acting upon it. I think that is what you did. If you would have seen some type of action on his part (other than him confiding in his mommy), I am sure that you would have waited a few more weeks. Hope this all works out for the best for you and your kids.
Thanks for understanding guys. Even though I know I needed to go sign the paperwork that doesn't mean it wasn't awful...
H is 'freaked out' b/c I am not 'talking' with him anymore. I told him before he left that it was actions that mattered, not words.
He is shocked I went through with it. I didn't tell him he had 24 hours notice but I did tell him that I was going forward due to his inaction. Period. Short and sweet.
I guess he sent me something, b/c this morning he texted he was freaked out, and I said I could tell by his lack of response.
He replied that he had sent me a response last night, and then another text, "Well that totally sucks", I assume re. the fact that I never got whatever he supposedly sent.
I didn't respond b/c there is nothing more that 'talking' can do....
Last edited by BobbiJo; 09/16/0906:23 PM. Reason: spelling
