This online dating scene you have is amazing. I wish we were more into it here. It sounds like ladies are all over the place for you Kerry. You and John really make use of the buffet. I hope you find the one that you really really like and eventually love. Life is better with a partner IMO. xxx K
I had a bit of a run in on the phone this morning with XW. She had not responded to my email about my not wanting her to take the kids out of school for her winter break vacation so I touched base to see what was up. She still seemed persistent that she was going to go against my wishes and take the kids out of school. Emotions got the better of us and she said that she would fight against me on it. I told her that I would file a police report if she took the kids out of school in violation of the parenting plan.
So I sent her some follow up emails trying to explain my feelings about the kids missing school, how I understand her side somewhat and that it is best to not battle which would cause bad feelings later on. I also offered a compromise that we sign written agreements. One was what I am thinking about for 2 and a half years from now when my son is in the Boy Scouts and it would allow him to miss some Chinese classes for Boy Scout campouts on the weekend. If she agrees to signing that then I will sign an agreement about taking the kids out of school for vacation when the teachers say it is ok and a reasonable trade of time is done with the other parent.
I think that it is better to leverage a conflict instead of creating hostilities that may last into the future. Pick your battles carefully.
The ability to compromise is very important indeed. If you can agree to each give a little, things work out so much better in the long run.
However, as I'm discovering w/my X, you do need to stand your ground and make sure that X is not trying to dictate terms or be controlling of the kids. You have every right to tell her that if an agreement isn't made w/you two, she can't just decide on her own that she's going to do something.
She is accountable to the agreement of the divorce and you are completely w/in your rights to let her know there are legal consequences to her actions if she doesn't want to try and involve you in the process.
I've done the same w/my X and it is amazing how quickly she comes to the negotiating table when I let her know that she's not legally allowed to do whatever she wants w/our D.
I am getting much much better at the negotiation and putting a stop to any time she tries to bring up the past. Maybe I have a future with the State Department.
On the dating front, I am starting to lose interest in one of the gals I went hiking with a week ago. She just seems to be so darn busy all the time (2 businesses) and she gets drawn in to helping other Korean acquaintances problems. She told me on the phone last night that feels bad that she cant find any time for herself to do things with me. I told her that I am in no rush and I can understand her frustration.
I do seem to be chatting quite a bit with one of the other ladies I went out with a few times a couple months ago. She seems to be more my type and she loves to travel to new places.
The other lady said it would be nice to take a hike again with me. She has a much more flexible schedule and she loves to also go out to new restaurants.
good for you kerry. I just broke up with brief romance. she freaked when she saw my bookcases - she doesn't read. And she only liked to take hikes on the same trail.
Reminded me a bit of an old girlfriend who I took to an amazing overlook in the southwest. She looked across the vast expanse of mountain and canyon with the southwestern sky fading from deep azure to the pandemonium of the setting sun and she said, "I don't see what the big deal about scenery is."
I remember you mentioning about your old girlfriend and the overlook (where you tied the knot). The kids and I paid a visit there a year ago and it was stunning - even more so with a lightning storm approaching. We even threw a few rocks over the edge in your honor.
