I gotta say, you do have a level head and know what you are doing. This sounds like the final last resort method - filing for a D and I still having some hopes that it will be enough for the wayward spouse to get their [censored] together. And you are not doing it as a tool to coerce him, but simply because you worn thin of patience waiting it out in idle time land.
And if it does not work out and you do get divorced, you will have no problem finding a good man deserving of your love.
This is good news Bobbi. I worry a little about the email as my XH sent one too with me copied on it. The OW even emailed me back promising to leave him alone. They are now engaged. Just be careful.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
BBJ, interesting that both you and K have the option of "trying" again almost at the same time. If that is what you want, great. The only word of caution from my experience would be to not jump into it 100% too quickly. They have things ro prove. In my case I was so happy that I did not notice what was really going on. I let my guard down. So keep your eyes open now more than ever and do not settle. Pulling for you.....
BBJ, interesting that both you and K have the option of "trying" again almost at the same time. If that is what you want, great. The only word of caution from my experience would be to not jump into it 100% too quickly. They have things ro prove. In my case I was so happy that I did not notice what was really going on. I let my guard down. So keep your eyes open now more than ever and do not settle. Pulling for you.....
Thanks everyone! John, I went through a half-hearted piecing last fall. Will NEVER make that mistake again. I already told him that. If my spidey sense tells me things aren't on the up and up, I will proceed with the D. So far things look positive but I am realistic...
Just keep doing what you have been. You really have learned a lot about yourself throughout the course of this 'odyssey'. You are an amazing person. Keep running 'the race'. My prayers will be with you and your family as always.
hey, SMW told me the good news! I know I've never been on your thread, but any kind of reconciliation is wonderful news.
I think more than keeping an eye open, you need to continue focusing on yourself. The problem with watching their every move is that we tend to react to them in different ways. We don't want any information we find to cause us to react differently. Just because our WAS comes back, doesn't mean that everything is back to normal. It doesn't always end like that. Sometimes it takes time for an A to dissolve completely. It did with mine.
Just continue to encourage the positive actions your H is doing so that he will continue doing more of them.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
John, I went through a half-hearted piecing last fall. Will NEVER make that mistake again. I already told him that. If my spidey sense tells me things aren't on the up and up, I will proceed with the D. So far things look positive but I am realistic...