I agree that you shouldn't have to tell your spouse. I might say, (and have said) I have a support site that helps me to get through things. but not where and certainly won't let H read. I should be able to have my privacy to work through issues with out it being invaded.
I am not ashamed of what I have posted either. the only reason my spouse hates the fact I have a support site is that he knows strangers know about our(his) issues and that just irritates him to no end. He wants noone to know.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Hi guys, well just sounding off here. I get a little frustrated when somebody we've worked with just suddenly stops posting. That seems to have happen a lot with people I've posted to....lol. It would be nice to at least know they are alright! Anyway, I'm always glad to hear from all of you.
I was sorry to see Orich leave....but at least it was all good. What do you all think about telling your S about the board? Almost all of them are going to not want you talking about the M. Which....makes sense. Also, I felt that Orich was probably being very honest and open with his W at the retreat this past weekend....and that was probably when he told her about the board. But....then she wanted him to stop. I suppose one would see it as withholding something, but at the same time, would a S "have" to tell if it was your way of getting help? Would you feel that you had to tell your S what was in your journal? Anyway, give me your thoughts.
Thanks
Hi Sandi,
I was a little bothered by that when I read it, to be honest with you Sandi, but I didn't push it on his thread because they had such a breakthrough over their Retrou weekend. But it's unsettling to me that someone who is truly repentant and wanting to work on their marriage would make such a request of their partner, when they only use the board for support and it's ANONYMOUS anyway.
But it's unsettling to me that someone who is truly repentant and wanting to work on their marriage would make such a request of their partner, when they only use the board for support and it's ANONYMOUS anyway.
I didn't get a good feeling about it.
Puppy, I had the exact, same thought. I suspect O's W saw the forum as a threat, which is troubling.
I'm glad you guys said that b/c I thought it was just "me" having a bad feeling about it. That is the reason I was very careful how I worded my post. I decided not to say anything on Orich's thread b/c he was not going to be reading it anyway......but frankly, it kind of ticked me off (lol) b/c I felt like it was his W controling him. I do see how a LBS would feel uncomfortable about it, but it is a support group just like in some counseling groups. There have been several people lately who just stopped without a word to anyone and that bothers me. I know it's their business, etc., but seems to me that they are glad to get support/advice when they come...and they should at least tell us they're not coming back. How do we know that they didn't get killed or something?
Well, thanks for letting me know that I wasn't the only one who was left feeling like that did over Orich.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I don’t normally drop by your place when I come on here but I’m up late at night reading through a few threads and I just thought I’d let you know that although I don’t post as much these days I’m still here every day reading and trying to learn as much as I possible can. And If ever I do leave these boards I’ll sure let you know in advance.
Tomorrow D7 turns to D8 and we will celebrate her birthday with all her friends and on the day she’ll receive lots of love and gifts. On Sunday we will go to church and give thanks for all that we will receive, but also when I receive my blessing I will say a special prayer for you to wish you well and to give thanks for all the help you have given me over the last 2 years that I have been on these boards. I can’t put into words how much your kind inspiration has helped me to survive from the bad place I was to where I am now.
There’s no need for you to check up on my sitch, I just wanted to let you know that I am doing ok and will continue to do ok thanks to your inspiration.
Lan, how sweet to let me know about you. So happy you are in a better place now. Your sweet words has warmed my heart and it is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. I will always think of you, along with some more here, as my special boys that meant so much to me and it was important to me to see you all happy.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
