True, I'm so happy to see an update from you. You sound like you are doing nicely and the communication w/your xh is going well, except for the money comment.
I understand why you don't visit as often. I'm beginning to feel my time here should be shortened as well. We'll see what the fall brings.
I do hope that you are well. Take care of yourself and be happy!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for your post and asking about my well being. I am doing alright at the moment. - I was thinking of you today and just had to share the following story with you:
I received a few nice answers to my ad I put in a local magazine the other day. One was from a guy who sounded very interesting and has the same interests/hobbies as I. So I asked him to explain a few things and to give me some more details such as age, etc. He answered my questions today and I thought that he would be perfect. But then he continued with: "And now comes the hit I am 78 years old!" LOL You know, I am still laughing about it!
XH didn't reply to my last e-mail as fast as before and I wondered why. Yesterday he wrote that he was not so bored anymore and just came back from a short trip. (But I noticed that he replied as soon as he got home.)I received an answer to my question: out of curiosity about his reaction I asked him for some ideas where a woman on her own could go on holiday and be safe. He replied and gave me some ideans. Further he wrote that he was not quite sure, but if I was fishing for an invite!!! LOL. That he is sorry he couldn't invite since last time he invited me it cost him an arm and a leg. - LOL I am still laughing about this as well!
I will reply to him that I had no intention of fishing for an invite and that I put an ad in last week for somebody who would come along.
We have a beautiful Indian summer and I am still enjoying swimming and sunbathing. During the day it is still very warm but the mornings, evenings and nights are getting colder by the day. The weather forecast for this week is still beautiful and warm but rain and cooler for Saturday.
One day, if I ever cross the big pond I might want to visit you. However, that might not happen in the near future. I remember at the beginning of the crisis you were my life saver and I am eternally thankful to you for that. Therefore, I thought it would be nice to be face to face with the person who helped me get through my worst time in life.
True, I'm so glad you posted! It sounds like you are having some fun with the ads. 78? OMG! At least you can sit back and have a good laugh.
I'm glad you can joke w/your xh. He really doesn't have a clue what he has lost. You are a jewel and someone far more worthy of a man who can appreciate you for who you are.
Enjoy the fun times, treasure those memories and do not allow the down times to keep you down for very long. You, my dear friend, have come a very, very long way and your journey is not over yet!
I do hope that you are keeping notes for the book that you will some day write. It will definitely be a classic!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I just wanted to log out when I saw your reply. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I do have some fun at the moment. My GFs and I always have a good laugh about "my men"!
Quote:
I do hope that you are keeping notes for the book that you will some day write. It will definitely be a classic!
Yes, I still have all the notes and I need to back them all up on a DC so that should the PC crash one day I will not lose the records. I often thought of starting it but just cannot pull myself together yet to actually do it. I am enjoying my free time too much.
I also noticed some time ago that I just cannot sit down and do something for a long time anymore, even if I like doing it. I seem to get restless. Anyway, maybe one day I will have the patience to do it. At least I learnt from this BB that I need to be patient and what having patience actually means.
It was nice to hear from you. Thank you for coming by and your compliments. I am amazed how other people notice the change in me. I don't really realize my change so much.
I am quite happy these days, of course, with the occasional sadness. But the weather has been so fantastic since August that I was able to enjoy summer to the full. When the sun shines it makes me feel so much better automatically LOL. I even went swimming today since the water is still warm enough and the sun continues to shine.
I also see my GF a lot and can communicate really well with her. I guess having a person to talk to also helps me to feel better.
I hope you are well as well and everything is going the way you want it. I wish you all the best. I am also sending huge HUGS.
I am glad that you like to read my updates and stories. Here is some more:
I did meet the 78 year old guy and just a few hours ago he called me on my cell phone! I met him with my GF in a place I thought would have live music but in the end didn't. We had quite a nice and fun evening since he is a funny and lively guy and looks and acts much younger than he is. But, of course, I told him straight away that there couldn't be anything else between us but friendship. He said he felt really young and good between two "young" ladies!
On Saturday I met another guy who replied to my ad. He is quite a few years older than I and will retire soon. He would like to do a lot of travelling. He was not at all my type although he was quite a nice person. And just before I left he mentioned that he would stop eating out if I would become his partner since I surely would cook at home! Oh boy, that was a huge mistake LOL. I told him that I am no housewife type of woman and hate cooking! Don't they all just want a partner to look after them in their old age!
One guy is very interesting and I am in regular contact with him. I wrote to him that I could have written his e-mails myself because his hobbies/interests and ideas are almost identical to mine. I thought he is "too good to be true" and would have liked to ask him "what's the catch?" but I didn't. I am sure there is something wrong with him. In life it never works out the way one wants!
I continue to go out a lot and do fun things. The Social Network Group I joined is quite good and I often go to events they organize. The theatre season started again and I already joint my sisters to see an opera.
I still have three more guys "in the pipeline" which I haven't seen yet. So hopefully, at least one of them will be worth my efforts LOL. However, I noticed that each time I meet somebody I am less and less prepared to give up my independence and freedom and to make compromises! But I noticed that some guys think the same way. The one I met on Saturday also said that if he cannot find the right partner, he would rather stay on his own since he doesn't want to give up too much for a partner. I agreed.
Re my XH he replied that I should be careful when dating guys from the internet as he heard some bad stories. But knowing me I would be careful since .. .I cannot repeat it here since it is very personal and made me laugh for days! He wrote in such a funny way and also quoted some members of my family. He also wrote that he found the things I wrote about funny and liked what I did.
I wrote back that I haven't received such a funny mail from him for many years.
Of course, he had to mention the money again. He wrote that if I want him to sign "Love" I need to give him back the money and singed "With best regards" LOL.
I replied to his e-mail and told him about some funny things I said and did recently. He replied saying that I am right, living without humour is no fun and I should become a comedienne. He signed again "With best regards".
After that he sent me some financial information and signed "L sorry - "With best regards". I replied to him saying that I spent the money which was great fun and signed with the same words LOL. That was not so long ago but I haven't heard from XH since.
My GF thinks that XH writes so often because he knows me inside out and still tries to manipulate me in returning the money. I am curious to find out what his reply will be to my saying I spent it LOL.
I wish you a good week and hope you will enjoy reading my update this time as well. Take care.
Thank you for popping in and your wishes. I wish the same to you.
Here I am again. Every time I write that XH has not written he writes a few hours later!
He started with "Dearest Ex" and didn't mention the money or react to my saying I spent it! Instead, he told me about a few things he did.
He also wrote that he finally found a GF he likes! He continued with my pet name, saying that he is not sure if he can mention her to me without upsetting me, so I should let him know. However, he thinks that I will not have a problem with it but one never knows. Her mother tongue is not our language and therefore she says some strange things he would like to share with me (he wrote what strange things she said). He signed his e-mail again "With best regards".
Now I know why he has been so funny in his e-mails and in quite a good mood lately. He sounds more like the man I used to know and love. I guess he is happy again, and I wonder for how long this time! Last time it lasted about 2 ฝ years until he split up.
Of course, I was hurt even after all these years! I don't know how I should react. It looks to me as if he thinks of me as his good pal who he can share anything with !
On one hand I like to be in contact with XH and hear funny things, but on the other hand I am not sure if I really want to hear what strange things his GF says, even if they are funny.
I guess I will tell him that I don't really want to hear about it. Does anybody have any other advice?
I was searching for something on my PC and just by coincidence the e-mail appeared XH wrote to me almost two years ago to the day inviting me to stay with him for winter. So I am double upset!
On a better note, I will meet the guy soon I have been writing to lately. He is the guy who has so many interests in common with me, and I wonder what the catch will be LOL.
True, I'm sorry that your xh has written to you about his latest woman. He really does see you as a "pal". Once the dust settles, many of them appear to want to be friends and want to share w/us what is going on in their lives. Not once, do they stop and consider what they've done to us and that we should be more than willing to shove all of the pain and suffering under the carpet. Not once do they actually take the time to fully understand what they've done. Why? Because much of what they've said and done was done under the depression fog and they've forgotten it. Some do remember bits and pieces, but it really very sad and frustrating when I read of such things for I've been on the receiving end of some of the things you have posted that your xh has shared w/you.
True, you have a the freedom to delete the email if you do not wish to read it. You have the right to tell him that you do not wish to hear about his latest conquest. True, you cannot truly move on w/him sharing such information w/you. The scar is so very raw and a friend would not do this to you. A friend would be more considerate of your feelings. Hugs to you, my dear friend.
I am anxious to hear about the new guy. I do hope he's fun and someone you can relate to. Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
True if it were me I would be telling my X in no uncertain terms that I have no interest in hearing abuot his new woman and how dare he even think it would be ok
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
