Sorry BBJ. I had the feeling that your hopes were up...it is normal. Don't know what to say other than this bit of news really surprises me. Unless this is another stall tactic.....or he just wants to be single,,,,I don't know. How can someone want to get together one day and say forget it the next??? I am very sorry BBJ ... really I am.
You are travelling down the sick diseased road that he has been on and to a large degree still is on. You may not be aware of it fully but you are right now. Nice and calm, turn the vehicle around and head back to the road you have been on for a good long time. Your road. Once you are back on it, all will be well again. If need be ask our magnificent Lord for some quick directions.
a guy who has been so utterly sick for sooo long will be in need of some very very lengthy care, beginning with caring for himself, before he will stand any chance of being anything close to healthy in any way.
Bbj, I know how you feel. I really do. You will be soon back up on your feet. Dan has made a choice. Maybe this is the first time he made an honest choice? Dont know. The way he did it sucked. But he seems unable to convince himself to commit to you Bbj. You cant do much about that... You have been thru much worse. Have no fear. xxx K
1. Thank him for the insight. 2. Tell him he can prove himself a loving father by talking with someone about how to love the kids, not just provide for them. A good father needs to deal with that forest fire of sin and depression so that he won't do "horrible things" in the future. His kids need to be able to count on him. 3. Then take out the prepared papers and hand him a pen.
(((BBJ))) I know you must be devastated... but it looks to me like he saved face and cushioned her fall by throwing you under the bus and sticking with the "spark is gone at home" line he's been feeding her all along. Unacceptable. Duh. The spark has been diverted for years, it needs to be primed and nurtured. He is just so screwed up.
Please keep moving forward. If he is the man you need, he'll do what it takes to catch you......
Tomato is right. there is underlying sickness there. He is making a decision that is actually more caring for you than you know. He will not stop pursuing strippers and porn. He may stop pursuing Stephanie. But that is not, and should not be, enough for you. Take you opportunity to have a better life. You deserve it.
Wow - sorry BBJ. He is in such a confused fog that I don't think he has a clue as to what he wants. I'd say serve him, get a legal separation in place with a set visitation schedule. Then start moving on. If he at some point gets his complete act together and decides he wants to be the man and husband you deserve then he will need to run to catch up to you and then you will need to decide if you want him back in your life. Right now he's simply putting you on a very cruel rollercoaster.
1. Thank him for the insight. 2. Tell him he can prove himself a loving father by talking with someone about how to love the kids, not just provide for them. A good father needs to deal with that forest fire of sin and depression so that he won't do "horrible things" in the future. His kids need to be able to count on him. 3. Then take out the prepared papers and hand him a pen.
but it looks to me like he saved face and cushioned her fall by throwing you under the bus and sticking with the "spark is gone at home" line he's been feeding her all along. Unacceptable. Duh. The spark has been diverted for years, it needs to be primed and nurtured. He is just so screwed up.
Wow - sorry BBJ. He is in such a confused fog that I don't think he has a clue as to what he wants. I'd say serve him, get a legal separation in place with a set visitation schedule. Then start moving on. If he at some point gets his complete act together and decides he wants to be the man and husband you deserve then he will need to run to catch up to you and then you will need to decide if you want him back in your life. Right now he's simply putting you on a very cruel rollercoaster.
S4H
bright neon lights need to be put around this ..perhaps.
I just don't understand what he told me Saturday then...
He said that when he got on the airplane to go to Canada, there was an in-flight magazine. Of all things there was an article on Laura Ingalls Wilder's house in South Dakota. Several pages long, and it talked about the pageant there in the summers. And there was a big ad for the stage production coming in the Spring.
He said he read the entire thing. Because he knew I would like it. And he thought how he would have gotten me tickets for a surprise because he knew how i loved the Little House books.
And he said he cried like a baby b/c he knew then that he DID still love me, he never stopped.
And he said that two nights later in his hotel room, he came across Gone with the Wind on TV. And he watched the entire thing. He doesn't like that movie. But it is one of my most favorites.
He said he watched it and got emotional again b/c it reminded him how much I still meant to him.
So how does he go from that to saying it is over? I am completely thrown for a loop all over again.
