I am actually with Dan on one thing: No more R talk.
(Funny isn't that practically paragraph ONE of MWD's book? )
I don't mean it like that, though. Not in terms of trying to scheme or whatever to get my H back.
I am just not going there anymore.
I got to thinking, you guys are right. We really aren't anywhere we haven't been dozens of times in between Dan showing up 'sniffing around' like he wants to reconcile.
And every time he shows interest like that, I wind up in these R talks. And he gets frustrated and runs again.
No more. R. Talks. Period.
I will give him the papers as soon as I have them. I was like a kid waiting for a birthday card with money, I went to my mailbox 5 times today. Gave up at 3:30 and went to bed, mail wasn't here yet so they could be in my mail now.
No more discussion. No how sad he is, how the kids will feel, etc. No. More.
Re. our divorce, striking while the iron is hot is warranted. He said in his email that he will not seek legal representation and all that he has is mine if I want it. I don't want it all. He can keep the cows/tractor/trailers. I will just take a nice pile of cash up front, thankyouverymuch, and the same monthly $$ I have been getting, even though it is higher than the state ordered monthly amount.
You guys are right, time to walk forward down this path and see where I wind up...
Oh, and no matter what promises Lucy makes, Charlie Brown is NOT going to try to kick the football!!!!
He texted 5 min ago that he picked the kids up early, left work early, because he was 'ill'.
I am sure that making the biggest mistake of your life probably DOES make a person sick. Thought the truth set you free and all that jazz...
Off to find some dinner. Decided if it is a day off from school and night class it will be a day off of Nutrisystem too. Going to go find some comfort food.
Funny while I was sleeping fitfully earlier I had dreams about me and the kids together in a new (new to us not new, new) house. A few different jumbled dreams but everytime it was just me and the kids without Dan. And none of us were sad, either...
So just under 5 months to get his act together...Don't know if Dan has it in him. I hope that you get what YOU want out of this. I remember shortly before my divorce was final, I took the kids for a walk and ended up at a local park. Sitting there on the swing I could picture a wonderful life laid out before me and ex was no where to be found.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Drop the D. What purpose does it serve? Are you in this to win your H's soul back or not? Are you trying to please God or not. Your signature basically says that God is important to you. Why then pursue something that God says he hates, namely divorce? Why not trust in Him for the outcome of your marriage and be patient and wait for His perfect timing? The world will tell you to D your covenant H and find someone else. That isn't what God tells you to do.
I only say this because you mentioned God in your signature. Don't pay attention to the world, pay attention to what the bible says and what you know to be true. Keep praying for your H's soul to be saved and for your M to be saved. Trust in God, not in people.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Yes, indeed, God does hate D. However, God does permit D in cases of adultery and the departure of an unbelieving spouse. BBJ's H has adultery covered in spades.
I assumed you have read all of BBJ's posts and have seen the twisted way Dan's mind works, the manipulation he uses, the carrot dangling he does only to pull it back right as BBJ reaches for it.
I fully believe that all M's deserve a chance. There is such a thing as self-respect though. How long does someone have to suffer at the hands of another? God does not want us to suffer because of someone else's poor treatment and bad decisions.
Ok, enough said, BBJ - sweetie - do what is in your heart. You have fought a good and noble fight. 3 years is a LONG fight. Who knows what may occur in 3 more years, but are you willing to sit back and put your very young life into permanent limbo on the off chance that Dan gets help for himself? It doesn't seem so to me.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Kevin.... Have you read what BobbiJo has written in the past almost two years? Do you have a clue what you are talking about?
What you are doing may be what you have to do. It might be good for you (though I seriously doubt it). But that does not mean it's good for BobbiJo. The fact that she mentions God does not mean that she believes as you believe. To you it is black and white, and I am not going to debate that with you. That doesn't mean that you are right for someone else.
As far as dropping the D goes, I think that is a sure way to make sure that BobbiJo's marriage does not survive. If it is going to have any change it is going to be by pressing for the divorce, and forcing Dan to make an actual decision, for the first time in years. I don't expect it. But it is the only way, I think. And I have actually read what BobbiJo has posted...
)
