Oh BBJ....I'm so sorry Dan has done this yet again.
As so many have said....he is mentally ill and this has nothing to do with you.
Not to be mercenary, but I hope the papers you drew up work MASSIVELY in your favor and he just signs them without representation as he said he would. I'm sorry...he is scum. I would love to kick the ever-loving sh!t out of him. He doesn't deserve to lick the dirt of your boots after walking through hot fertilizer. How's that for a mental picture?
Dan can't hurt you anymore unless you let him. There really are no answers you know, so stop looking for them.
You are strong, beautiful, and courageous. You have stood strong through all of this and done it with dignity. Now, in dignity....walk away. Head high, shoulders back, looking into the sun in your future. It's there...on the horizon...waiting for you to grasp.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Bitterness, anger, resentment seem to be flowing from you today. Understandable.
But you need to let it go at some point. You had hope for a reason. 3 years seems to be the breaking point on this site. I'm not sure why that is.
You have fought hard for 3 years and it hasn't materialized like you had hoped it would yet. This was another set back.
3 years of anguish. Are you really throwing in the towel after 3 years of fighting for this? Look how far you have come along. It seemed that you were really close and then it fell apart again for who knows what reason. It is your choice. But I would give it more time. Yes, more time. Some marriages require more than 3 years to be restored and it seemed like there was progress being made. I wouldn't count it as over because of this setback.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
OK this is bad but I really want to skip my night class tonight. I just feel like I want one day to cry and sleep and yell at the air and just get it all out so I can start over new. I keep compartmentalizing my feelings so I can get through work, take care of the kids, whatever.
So is it ok to take one day for a breakdown and then get up and get back on the horse?
So is it ok to take one day for a breakdown and then get up and get back on the horse?
Absolutely!!!
K4D
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Basically he said he just decided that he couldn't handle even one more R talk, the strain of the effort of it all was just too much.
WTF!?!?! Unacceptable. This is how he moves mountains to save his family and the smile on his children's faces? Not. B-effing-S. Seriously. I know you are too close to see it, BBJ, but please. Just. Stop.
Your thread says "Give it to me straight." This is a marriage saving site and I've found myself holding back posting the glaringly obvious steps to do this because each time you get your hopes up you shoot yourself in the foot. Well, that and you are too good for this lazy man-child. Ironically, everyone is telling you exactly what to do if you want a chance in Hell to save your marriage!
Serve him the papers. Detach and move forward. Take back the control and stop giving the choice to HIM! Your choice, your game, your rules...
You tried to piece it on your own. You tried retrouvaille (miss ya Sara), you tried everything but insisting Dan get the help he needs to function as a provider and father, let alone husband. He doesn't like women and has a daughter! He will be floundering soon and reaching for that life raft, darn it make him swim!
