Yep, she's the girl in the picture. I think she's beautiful too. I'm smitten by her, not only for her outward beauty, but for the woman she is inside. She's let her guard down at times and I've been able to see her compassion, caring, and wonderful heart. She also has a passion for adventure and I can't wait until I'm in a better financial position so we can begin to have some adventures together. It will be soon, and I'm looking forward to that for sure.
As for me, you flatter me again, my Greecian Bond girl. I need to get my knees feeling better so I can work off the love handles that aren't pictured in the FB shot. Thank goodness for that, right?
I'm not sure how useful they are Sunshine. I know they aren't real sexy...at least I'm not a big fan of them.
The sad thing is I can see my abs at times, but I've got to keep digging away at the layers that are hiding them. I'd love to have them out on a permanent basis.
Hey, everyone! I never figured softball would be a contact sport, but my body has taken a beating in my first go around w/the sport after 10+ years away.
Not only are my legs beat up, but now my head is too! Last night at third base, I luckily deflected a missile w/my glove that was headed for the middle of my face. The downside is the bullet deflected off my glove and then off my forehead which caused me to bleed like a stuck pig and then head off to the hospital for stitches.
It didn't hurt (seriously, I didn't even have a little headache from it...just a lot of blood) and the cat scan didn't show any negatives (except maybe a warped mind), so I'll have the stitches out and be back at 3rd next week.
Maybe my reflexes are a bit slower now that I'm closing in on 39 and I'll need to play a few feet behind the bag from now on. Probably the smart thing to do, eh?
Well, day 2 of the bandaged head is going well and I'm looking forward to the removal of the stitches tomorrow. Anyway, at least there is still no discomfort, but the black eye is settling in a bit. I'll look macho, if nothing else, right?
I'm posting today, not b/c there is anything earth-shattering or new, but b/c I've been continuing to process everything shared here as well as what's been going on w/me and I did realize something last night that I think is important that I make sure to do:
"Don't get any deeper than she is getting right now, or make sure I match the level she's at w/our relationship."
I've seen this in David DeAngelo's columns, in a column from Christian Carter for women called "Catch Him, Keep Him" as well as from other sources. I think gucciloafers even mentioned it here and the more I see it the more it resonates.
See, what I'm getting is if I'm more ready to move forward than she is, it could make things uncomfortable for her and thus tend to turn her off. On the other hand, if I'm able to be patient w/myself and exert some self control over my emotions, then I can match her and not come across as either needy, overbearing, or some ugly combination of the two.
So, that's what I'm trying to do - match her level of intensity - right now and see where it takes us. I'll also be able to use the time to continue to build a healthier me. I don't want to push her away by being too intense and "wanting" a long-term R more than she does.
It seems to make some sense to me. Am I making any sense to anyone else? Ladies, what do you think? Am I on the right track or over-analyzing a bit?
It makes me tired, reading up on your exploits. So much THINKING involved!!!
I'm teasing - she is a lucky lady for you to be so thoughtful. I don't know if I would want to know (or think about) a potential boyfriend trying to hold himself back to match my interests....I guess I'll bumble through that when I am interested in a boyfriend, again!
I also think I "think" too much, but this board is a great place for me to work things that I've got going on in my head out and get some real, honest feedback from you guys.
Thanks for saying my GF is lucky for me to be so thoughtful. I'm very concerned for her, but I still have to be careful that my thoughtfulness doesn't keep me from doing things for me. A slippery slope that I'm not used to as I've always been able to jump right into things....
...however we also know my past relationships have all been flawed too. Patience is the lesson I'm learning right now, it seems.
I'm still playing w/the idea of matching her intensity and I'll see what it feels like and if it isn't comfortable, I'll stop doing it.
On the other hand, I don't want to scare her off by being too much, so I need to read and react w/the situation, I guess.
In a perfect world, I wouldn't want someone to hold back on me either, but in this case, I'm not sure "letting go" is the thing to do right now.
Again, I'm in a read and react mode w/this, but I'll still post my thoughts and will always take any and every type of feedback I can get.
Have you talked to her about any of this? You feel what you feel and holding back so much may not let it show properly. I do believe you are over thinking this Rob. But then I do that sometimes myself so we will just call the kettle black and make us even! LOL
I bet you are a nervous wreck trying to keep yourself in check. I say talk with her to see if you are even close to the same page.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
We've talked a bit, but she's still pretty guarded about her feelings and opening up b/c of the past disappointments she's had in her life.
I think I over-analyze too which is most likely what I'm doing here. I do see small signs from her and they are becomming more and more prominent as time goes by. I think I need to focus more on finding and appreciating the little things right now.
Again, I've never been forced to sit back and wait for a big picture to develop, so maybe that is what I'm supposed to do now - sit back, appreciate the small things and wait.
She is opening up more and more to me, but I'm just not used to the pace.
Newness is great and learning is always a positive, but man, it is tough at times to break the mind and body of ingrained, decades old habits! That is my frustration!
I had no idea about the stitches! Sorry to hear that happened to you - those war wounds are just part of getting back into the game, no? Before I tore my ACL, I used to like the nicks and bruises I would see on my legs after a soccer game - little, colorful reminders of being active and living...
As for your thoughts and worries about matching her intensity...I suppose I would also agree that you might be over-thinking things - though my first thought was: take care of you first, be comfortable with the possibility of any outcome with her - which can only be the case if you're fully at peace with being whole on your own - and then just allow things to happen as they must.
Rather than sitting back, perhaps you can think of it more as stepping in - or, I guess the usual phrase is: staying in the moment. A pace is about what came and what follows, right? It's determined not by the moment, but by the whole flow of an exercise? Perhaps that's just not the most appropriate way to be in a relationship - in which you might benefit more from forgetting about pace (which also suggests a dangerous link between expectations and goals) and focusing more on where your next step will fall instead.
"Newness is great and learning is always a positive, but man, it is tough at times to break the mind and body of ingrained, decades old habits! That is my frustration!"
Very tough indeed...I think about the same thing - and sometimes I think I make the mistake of dwelling too much on whether or not I'm repeating a pattern - rather than just being in the moment and living it fully. Our minds are great for so many things - but not so much for living in the moment of a relationship.
How's the head? And, how's the knee when you play?
