Ready2Change (9) Divorce Papers Signed

[Kalni]

I just finished reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and highly recommend reading it.

Hi R2C, that book helped me survive the post bomb days. I read it, woke up next day and stopped crying. I made myself believe I would get what I wanted (H at THAT time-LOL)... It brought me peace and faith (it also got me a parking space Christmas Eve 2007 in the center of Athens-that WAS a miracle!!!).
Hope it works for you,
K

I read you, never posted to you before I think... Hi!!!

[Ready2Change]

I have been out of the marital house for 11 months. About 16 months since the bomb. Divorced since Jan 09.

Baby goal: Communication is still improving (even though it is extremely limited still). Good thing we have a signed agreement we can always fall back on when making new agreements......

I am very detached. MsR2C does not suck me into the drama. I set my boundaries based on what I WANT and what is good for my kids.

[Ready2Change]

Almost a year since I have been out of the house. (I moved out August 1 of last year (08)).

MsR2C still does not look happy. I am out of her life and she is still not happy. No one to blame anymore. Still minimal communication. She does have a real nice tan, so she is out running and biking still.

I had an interesting dream Sat night. She introduced me to OM. Funny how my brain needs "Justification" for the reasons she chose to end our marriage.....Funny how my brain needs to create more drama.....The good thing is I did not believe the lies my brain was creating.


I did have a near death experience this weekend. Gave me a clear focus again. Lighting storm quickly blew in while I was fishing. A charged field moved across me and my fishing pole started shocking me! Talk about a good reminder to enjoy life while we are here (as well as take shelter during thunder storms)....

Go out and live your dream today. It is all you have. Don't let the regrets of the past or the fear of the future control you.

HUGS

[kat727]

Just wanted to stop by and check on you. I did get the new car! 2 of my 5 "Secret" goals have happened. However, not the way I thought they would. I guess just keep yourself open and positive and attraction will bring them to you.

kat

[Ready2Change]

Wow, time is flying by faster than ever! (been over a month since last post)

About 1 week ago, MsR2C called me screaming. I had two choices, listen and validate or hang up and set boundaries. I chose the second option. I am detached enough that I may have chosen option 1 if my kids were not in the car, but she was really loud....

It is strange for me to watch her hold all the anger and resentment and project it at me. I thank God for all the new relationship tools I have learned. Keep working on ME. We are both passive aggressive, so I need to step out of my box and change that part of me.......

Most of my thoughts are on other things these days.....

[Ready2Change]

I want a civil respectful relationship with MsR2C. More patience and forgiveness need (on my part )

[Ready2Change]

One of the big lessons I learned is to take responsibility and refrain from blaming. I made my choices the best I could in the past, have learned a lot during this difficult time of my life. Every interaction with MsR2C is an opportunity to learn and grow. Compassion is at the top of my list right now. Learning how to be compassionate with her helps me focus on what is important: My happiness. My relationship with my kids. My relationship with other people.

[JayMan]

I had to comment on your 8/31 post. The divorce is done! Been done for 6 months!

Why call screaming? Doesn't she have what she wanted? I'm going through a similar situation where WAW left, started school, started affair - but won't sign papers. I don't understand - I'm so "awful", and now you've "gotten away", so go!
the LBS GALs and learn to love life, it drives them nuts!

[Ready2Change]

Thanks for posting!

She does not have what she wants. She still wants to CONTROL me. I am in control of my thoughts, words and actions. She chose to treat me with the silent treatment. I reciprocated. I desired to CO-parent. I now parent as I see fit. Lots of love and logic methods as well as other tools I have learned during the difficult time of D.

[Ready2Change]

There are many "benchmarks" in my life. Yesterday was one of them. I changed. I was alone and in a state of bliss last night. It lasted for hours. Unbelievable!

I believe my behavior yesterday led me to this state. I have known for a while that I have stuffed emotions that need to come out. I needed to cry so I chose to watch a very emotional movie last night as a trigger. I let the tears flow. I felt the pain. I felt the sadness of loss. After the release of the stuffed emotions, I was able to feel the pleasure of being alive. It was a very spiritual event in my life.