Thank you for your much appreciated reply. I didn't expect to get one so quickly.
You are right - I cannot truly move on with him sharing such information. I will tell him that I don't want to know about it. As you rightly mentioned, the scar is still so very raw, even after more than four years.
I am sorry that you were also on the receiving end of some of the things I posted that my XH shared with me.
I will let you know how the new guy is. I have no expectations, although everything about him sounds very promising.
I hope you will enjoy reading the following update:
OMG – the "Too good to be true" guy did have a catch – LOL! I just knew that he was too good to be true. He phoned me regarding our "date". When I put down the phone I suddenly had the feeling that I knew him. His emotionless talking rang a bell and it suddenly clicked. I checked his details with my notes and – bingo! I met him at the beginning of the year and I didn't like him straight away.
I am sure he wrote to me in a way that it would fit my interests and hobbies because last time he told me something completely different! Either he is a conman or then a complete nutcase.
When I remembered who he was I really didn’t' feel like meeting him again but thought that I could not cancel it. So I dressed up in a way I knew he would not like. When I met him he said straight away that he thinks we are not compatible and he expected something different. That there was no point in any further talks and wasting time. I agreed and mentioned that I thought we had already met. And would you believe it, he denied it! Anyway, I was just so happy to get rid of him.
XH wrote to me that he was sorry he upset me and forgot that I wrote to him about not mentioning his GF. He didn’t' mean to be insensitive, he just sees it in a different way. We could always talk about anything, and XH never felt that he had to lie to me or hide reality!
I thought he would think this way and replied that BEFORE it was different.
He also would like to know if there is a man in my life I can turn to if I should have any problems since he is too far away! I ignored the question but wrote that I answered an ad for joining somebody on his holiday.
He wrote again that he continues to miss the area I live in and a certain thing we used to do. He wrote a few long mails telling me how bad the weather has been lately and about things he does and that he seems to be wasting his life! However, he doesn't know what else to do!!!! – I would like to write what else I could think of he could do but I won't!
He wrote again that he might come back if he is very old and would I put him up – LOL!
Anyway, we had lovely weather again and I enjoyed the last summery and warm days very much. Now the autumn weather started for sure and temperatures are dropping.
Thank you so much for posting to me! I haven't been on the boards lately myself but I've been catching up with your sitch. Sounds very interesting that your xh his sending you emails all the time.
You are very strong! I think you are handling things very well. I'm not sure I could.
I'm not where you are right now, but it sounds like you are having a great time!!
Truelove on reading your sitch it seems that your ex is questioning you if you have a man in your life, what you are doing and where you are going, also would you let him stay when he is old, I think Truelove your ex is testing the waters, take care honey have a nice weekend xx
True, I agree with Mandy, your xh is testing the waters in many aspects, i.e., men in your life, what you are doing w/your life, how life is treating you and wanting a reaction to his comment about getting old and you taking care of him. Now, the last comment made me laugh.
I'm sorry about the date, but it's good that you have kept notes. He's a con man and some of them do this. Keep moving forward!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for posting to me and your thoughts. I hope you all had a lovely week-end.
I would not have guessed that you think XH is testing the waters. I merely thought he is happier with his life these days and just writing "to an old friend" because he is bored.
XH wrote a few more times again. Since I told him that he changes his age for coming back all the time he wrote that he was sorry but would miss the first appointment. I also wrote to him that I could rent him a room but he would have to share certain things -LOL.
He also wrote if I am serious about going on holiday with a complete stranger. He thought it wasn't a good idea and that he heard lots of horror stories about internet dating and gave me a few examples. He also said that there are a lot of con men about and I should be very careful.
Then he mentioned that he knew I hated winter and wrote AGAIN that it is a pity WE didn't buy a cheap apartment in a certain place because WE BOTH could use it now! He continued to write about the things he recently did. He mentioned that he listens to some radio station from the area which is near to where I live. So it seems that he wants to stay connected to this area!
One "funny" thing he wrote as well: that an old girlfriend sent him an unfriendly mail and that it was strange that some people turn against you for no reason – LOL. He seems to have forgotten that he did exactly the same thing to some of our/his friends some years ago!
I always wait a few days before I reply to XH's mails.
I had quite a nice week-end and went out a few times. It is really getting autumn now but next week there is supposed to be at least one more very warm day. Tomorrow I will meet yet another guy who answered my ad. He sounds quite nice but as usual I have no expectations.
I wish you all a nice week.
nlt: Thank you for your compliments and kind words. I can understand that you are not as far as I am because I have been much longer at this than you. I am sure one day you will be there as well. - Yes, I am having quite a good time at the moment although on some days, especially on warm and sunny days, I am very sad and always think that XH and I could have had such a lovely life now.
True, Your xh can't quite let you go, can he? I think you are doing a great job of being friendly, but be on your guard. He's done this before and then hit you w/a request for money.
As for meeting another new guy, I hope he turns out to be fun. Enjoy your date.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It really looks as though XH cannot quite let go of me. I guess he has never had such a good and close friend as I was/am and doesn't want to give it up. - Thank you for your compliment. I will be on my guard but no matter how many requests for money my XH makes he will get nothing.
XH said that he wouldn't be hurt ANYMORE if he knew that there is another man in my life. That's why I thought he is NOT testing the waters.
The new guy I met yesterday was quite nice to talk to, however, he is not my type at all. I have decided to stop using the same dating platform. I am going down cheeseless tunnels and need to think of something else.
I wish you a lovely week.
Hi BND,
Nice to hear from you. I am glad that you enjoy reading about my "adventures".
You know, one of my girlfriends and Snodderly say the same. I heard about a similar book recently but the woman who wrote it met about 100 men. So I will have to continue meeting them – LOL!
Just this evening I read in a news paper that a 72 year old woman said that you need to look at at least 100 men to finally find the right one - LOL!
I wish you a lovely week and hope that everything is alright with you and your family. (((HUGS))))
I keep writing to XH about the area, the weather etc. and what I do – without mentioning my dating, of course. I also wrote about the food which is available in autumn and once he replied that he felt like taking the next plane back!
Lately, I have been almost in DAILY e-mail contact with XH. He wrote once or twice a day and I replied immediately. Mainly we exchanged funny stories or jokes. He even wrote that considering we are divorced we seem to do quite a lot of mailing – LOL. He is glad that we can stay friends. He then told me that XOW told him not to write to her anymore. He didn't understand it though. So I asked him never to mention her name to me again. He replied that he wanted to make it clear that he didn't leave me for her or anybody else (he always said that) and that she never meant that much to him! (I remember my niece telling me that he told her at the beginning of there R how much in love he was!!)
XH continued to write that I should be careful with the guy I thought of going on holiday with.
I had an enjoyable week-end and went to some live music performance and also to "my" social network group.
Although I said I wouldn't write to ads on the same singles platform I saw some interesting ads and did reply to them. One ad was so good that I wrote: "hello Mr. Too-good-to-be-true" – LOL. So far he has not replies.
I just talked to one of my GFs and told her that the guys I find most interesting and who have the most in common with me never reply.
Last week was still lovely and it was sunny and even warm enough to go sun bathing, however, the water got too cold for me to swim. A few days ago we finally got some much needed rain and now it is getting cold rather quickly. I just hope that we will still have some nice autumn days before winter sets in.
