Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

Remember this antlers,

God invented M. God created it for a reason. You and your W made a covenant with God. It is funny how people like to pretend there was no covenant made. But there was. It is God's will to have covenant M's restored. So keep praying and working on you.

These things take time. So many times I wanted to give up and call it quits. But I keep coming back to the fact we made a covenant with God that does not go away regardless of what other people may want. God doesn't release us from that covenant even if other people don't like it.

Stay on track brother. Your reward will come with time if you just keep faith.

Kevin

Hi Kevin.


I don't doubt that this is what God wants, but he also gave people free will. If a spouse doesn't love their husband anymore, and doesn't want to be with him anymore, God won't force that spouse to do those things...even if that is what He would want. That said, I do believe the things you say here about our marriages being a covenant with God.

[antlers]

Got the request for the 'discovery documents' over the weekend. Wow. They want every detail of every dime that's been made for several years (every account...retirement, checking, etc.). It's kinda scary and intimidating. God, I hate this.

I continue to pray that God will help me detatch to the point where I'm no longer concerned with her, her life, who's in her life, etc.. My son showed me on his moms Facebook page a new man that she's friends with...that kind of stuff bothers me (hurts me, actually). My kids are my joy, and I'll get them back tomorrow night.

[antlers]

This divorce is happening. I gotta choke it down, and accept it.

I think this will be a new beginning for you and not necessarily the end with your W.

Detach, make peace with it if you can and you will shine brighter.

Hello AAK.

I hope it's a new beginning for me. I want more than anything, right now, to detatch. The end of our relationship leaves me with such a huge sense of abandonment, rejection, disappointment, regret, remorse,and loss. And other feelings have been dredged up because of it. I want so much to get over all of those feelings. I feel devastating lonliness and loss...a loss of my dreams for my family and our future...something I'd come to depend on.

[antlers]

The kids were sick with the flu and strep throat this past week; stayed with me for 3 nights and I kept them home from school...spent some QT with em', and loved taking care of them while they were sick. They left this a.m. and went out of town with their mom. My son and I are tight! Daughter less so, but getting better.

Took a 52 mile bicycle ride this a.m. Riding has been to me what Coach's dog was to him! This quote really says it for me...

"Perhaps the genius of ultracycling is its supreme lack of utility. It makes no
sense in a world of spaceships and supercomputers to ride vast distances on a bicycle.
There is no money in it and no fame, frequently not even the approval of peers.
But as poets, apostles and philosophers have insisted from the dawn of time,
there is more to life than logic and common sense. The ultracyclists know this
instinctively. And they know something else is lost on the sedentary. They
understand, perhaps better than anyone, that the doors to the spirit will swing
open with physical effort. In riding such long and taxing distances they
answer a call from the deepest realms of their being - a call that asks who they
are..."

[futureunknown]

Hi Antlers-

Glad you're enjoying your kids. I also find it satisfying taking care of them when they're sick. It's a chance to spoil them without feeling guilty about it! I used to also enjoy taking care of my W when she was sick :-(

I agree totally with the quote you included, except for me it's running. I did a 20 miler Sunday. Got a marathon scheduled next month.

[orangedog]

It's hard to explain that feeling or desire to ride or run for hours. It's like art, or music, or poetry. It just has to get out.

[antlers]

Hi futureunknown,

You're a runner? My buddy is a runner. He ran to the top of Pikes Peak in August from Manitou Springs...runs trails all the time. Yeah, that quote pretty much nails it...doesn't it? You can substitue whatever your favorite endurance sport is and it'll apply. Good luck in the marathon.

I liked taking care of her when she was sick too.

[antlers]

Hey O'dog,

You're right, it is hard to explain...but that quote pretty much describes it for me.

How you doin' man?

[antlers]

It's hard to choke it down that the woman I married and spent all these years with would feel so out of love or unattracted to me that she would throw away the marriage, give up 50% of her time with the kids, destroy the family, and just walk away.

I don't know what the cure is to the disease of being rejected?

[Gardener]

Antlers,
my response to you from over at O'Dog's. Thought I'd drag it over here to you.

I wish I knew what the cure for rejection is?

Me too.
Bottom line of how I ultimately feel about all this: rejected and discarded.

And after months of (and still) cycling through the whole spectrum of emotions on this, I now more and more find myself - disappointed. Just deeply disappointed in her. [/quote]