When you express an interest in meeting up with me and then not let me know what is happening or leave it to the very last minute to make plans.
it makes meI feel like you are messing me and my time around. disrespected (or use what feeling best decribes how you feel.) (Don't use the word you, takes on the connotation you are blaming him, this is all about behavior.)
I want to know when and where we are going to meet in a timely manner, 48 hrs notice.
If we cannot make firm plans in a repectful time period then I don't see that we can continue to meet up.
If you continue to disrespect my time then I will decline all further invitations. It would make me sad to do this but I don't see another option, my time is precious.
Have you ever watched the Dog Whisperer? Very effective especially when dealing with men.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks Coach, that is a lot clearer to me. I haven't seen it, perhaps it hasn't come over to the UK. I'll look it up on You Tube. In your opinion do you think my position would be stronger tomorrow if I agree to meet or decline saying I am now busy?
Ok then think Victoria Stilwell in place of the Dog Whisperer.
You can meet but make part of your agenda establishing the boundary.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I feel it is important to make a point in the fewest words possible. I would avoid all or nothing statements.
Quote:
When you wait to the very last minute to request or break appointments with me, I feel disrespected. From now on, I require 48 hours advance notice to schedule an appointment. If you continue to disrespect my time, I will decline further invitations.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
As it turns out he didn't contact me at all to firm up arrangements, even though it was his suggestion to meet. I am not surprised by this (as I also said no to him regarding an issue for the very first time this week) but now I'm wondering whether to call him on this or whether to leave it, as it is so discourteous (to put it politely!). My quandary is when is it a boundary and when is it a telling off?
My quandary is when is it a boundary and when is it a telling off?
great lesson I learned here - If something is bothering you then it is your responsibility to bring it up.
Boundary is just stating what behavior is unacceptable to you. Until you make your position known then how could someone else know it. This helps avoid the frustration (telling off) and clarify things.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
When you expect me to be flexible with parenting time while you remain rigid, I feel disrespected. I will continue to follow YOUR lead. You can continue to be rigid, or you can chose to do what is best for our kids and be flexibe.
Current discussions involves S8 requesting to spend a night at my house during HER parenting time and she is not allowing this. Until this happens I will be firm on exchange times.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
