John, cigars and golf? It is raining cats and dogs here, or is it dogs and cats?
Well, Tuesday I am taking the day off, my kids are off school and Wednesday is a national holiday, the day we told Mussolini to eff off and actually fought him off at the Alabanian mountains, which led to his end...
So maybe the day we celebrate "NO" (our answer to his question if he could have Greece), I will celebrate "ye, yes, yes..." LOL!!!
Kidding aside, I dont know what to do either. I am generally calm, no snipping, smart @ss comments, I am caring (to a degree) and this weekend I initiated hugs and snuggles. There is this huge weight in my heart, I cant enjoy much, but yes, some moments it feels good. I am not sure if it is him or that just contact that does though... K
Interesting bit of history - 'Ochi Day'. It was the Axis first defeat in WW2. Greece did not fair as well once the Germans and the corrupt government got involved - massive amounts of starvation. But they may have been just enough of a distraction to have helped contribute to the Germans getting bogged down in Russia.
Hey, K. For the record I meant "Come on Tuesday, get here soon!" John WOULD take it to mean come---on Tuesday. Clearly LJ is not on the disabled list and is fully in the rotation. Lucky bastard!
I am sure there will be mixed emotions and you will want some reassurances that he does 'want' you. But good for you for starting something at 5 in the morning. If you are going to be in, I say you might as well be 'all in' as they say in the game of poker.
Hey K..well that sounds promising? That he spent the weekend with you and you felt sufficiently glad about it to "initiate cuddles"? I still dont get why you keep calling him stbx, especially if you plan to sleep with him Tuesday night! Is it a pride thing? You dont want to fall back in too easily?
On you "being caring, but not too much"...it took me a while to realise, but when we first reconciled, I was showing him as much love and attention and reassurance as he was me almost. I felt he was almost a bottomless pit soaking up my love, he was sooo relieved to get his life and love back and needed to be reassured about me wanting him back. Put yourself in his shoes, look what he put you through, he may feel insecure too. Its ironic, it shouldnt have to be like that, it should be coming 10 fold back at you hey, but I think piecing does need to be a two way street of giving. I said to bf on Sunday that I still feel like I have to give him alot of love and cuddles and he cried, because he knows its unfair, but true!
And the fact he chose to come back to a very hard situation and knows he has to prove himself and work at the R, after a 3 year A and a 2 year separation and yet he STILL wants to be with you? I'd say that was love. I'm not surprised the good moments are bitter sweet though, but give it time hey, as Jeff says? Let the bad memories die down a bit. Saturn leaves Virgo this week..our 2 1/2 year nightmare is over !!! Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
BBJ a latte would be great today. Thanks!! It's rainy and dark.
Ali, I dont PLAN to have sex with him on Tuesday for God's sake!!! Also, having SEX, wouldnt mean necessarily THAT much at this phase we are in. Sorry I am being "cold" about it but making love isnt gonna happen with him. Sex, maybe, not ML.
And spending the weekend with us is NOT that promising, is it? He has been doing that for a year now. What DOES sound promising is that he seems to be WITH me (most of the time) and not day dreaming about his lover or sucked in his lies and guilt as he used to be.
I was talking to John last night and we concluded that I am crazy. We also concluded that I need major reassurance from him. And that I should not be so cruely honest with him either. I told him yesterday that when he leaves the house, I feel safe again. I can relax and be myself. I realised after talking to John, that such phrases will not help him move to the right direction. Probably block him more.
Anyway, life is good cause tomorrow I am taking the day off and work has been getting a little less hectic. K
I've been thinking about you.. all the trials, travails and time that's passed.
I know all I've wanted is your happiness, a joyful life of balance and healthy relationships. It's when you find your stride and decide that folks can rally around and be your cheerleaders. Only through momentum does change occur.
You're not crazy if you know what you want, what you're willing to do. At some point though you have to let go of the strings of emotional support if they keep you from turning to your spouse as your confidante. But that only happens when you trust. And at some point trust involves a leap of faith.
The change in the way he kissed you, turned to you seems to have given you the glimmer of what you were hoping to see. Keep supporting what is right for you, what brings the best for you and your spouse.
If it's right, it's right. If it's not you both know you gave all you could in the purest sense.
BUT..
He needs to give you all of him... as you need to do the same.. if you can, if he can.. if you both trust the one another above all others.
I dont care what Peter or FIB are saying (sorry guys!!). If it works for us, I am happy. Time will tell. So far, so GREAT!
Did I say something? I saw lymph nodes but I have't seen a diagnosis. And...what is DCA? FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Hi everyone, I hate to bump but I could really use some advice from some of you girls. If you get a chance could you please check out my latest thread and sitch? You girls are more experienced than I will ever be and I would appreciate some input. Thanks ahead of time. Some of my sitch has changed so that's why I bothering you.....asking you for some help.
