Kids had to come by and pick something up this morning after I had left for work, and I left a note for my daughter along with a pack of candy. Got a text from their mother later on that basically said "It's nice that you do stuff for the kids but I wish you wouldn't do it with candy. It's so unhealthy for them."
I guess what she's doing to them and our family isn't "so unhealthy for them"!
that's called projection. blow the dig at you off.
"Thanks for noticing wife. What do you wish I could do better next time?"
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
When I have my kids with me, I like to limit their sugar intake. I don't see anything wrong with her making that request. You know exactly what she meant. She didn't say it was the worst thing, as bad as divorce, she said "I wish you wouldn't do it with candy..." It is a request. You both (Antlers and K4D) are really convoluting the issue IMO. You really can't co-parent if you go to the "but you are ruining their lives by divorcing..." place.
You really can't co-parent if you go to the "but you are ruining their lives by divorcing..." place.
Of course you can. It is not like it was said to her. It was just a normal reactive thought.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
But probably not a healthy thought. I will grant you that. With that type of thought you are allowing resentment to build in you that will possibly eventually come out at her. And that is not good.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Kids had to come by and pick something up this morning after I had left for work, and I left a note for my daughter along with a pack of candy. Got a text from their mother later on that basically said "It's nice that you do stuff for the kids but I wish you wouldn't do it with candy. It's so unhealthy for them."
I guess what she's doing to them and our family isn't "so unhealthy for them"!
that's called projection. blow the dig at you off.
"Thanks for noticing wife. What do you wish I could do better next time?"
Coach, I honestly don't even see a dig unless one is hypersensitive. She acknowledged his intentions and prefers he do it another way...she even called it a "wish" indicating that she knows the limitations of her entitlement with Antlers. This is really no biggie. I am interested in why you guys don't see the simplicity in this one...
When I have my kids with me, I like to limit their sugar intake. I don't see anything wrong with her making that request. You know exactly what she meant. She didn't say it was the worst thing, as bad as divorce, she said "I wish you wouldn't do it with candy..." It is a request. You both (Antlers and K4D) are really convoluting the issue IMO. You really can't co-parent if you go to the "but you are ruining their lives by divorcing..." place.
Just my two cents.
Kinda like when she was moving out, she would only move stuff at night so the neighbors wouldn't see! She didn't mind ripping our family apart...she just didn't want the neighbors to see it!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Kinda like when she was moving out, she would only move stuff at night so the neighbors wouldn't see! She didn't mind ripping our family apart...she just didn't want the neighbors to see it!
Now I will admit. That is odd.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Coach, I honestly don't even see a dig unless one is hypersensitive. She acknowledged his intentions and prefers he do it another way...she even called it a "wish" indicating that she knows the limitations of her entitlement with Antlers. This is really no biggie. I am interested in why you guys don't see the simplicity in this one...
Ever since she left, she has known that I didn't want our marriage to end...and she used the power that she had (she was already detatched) to totally dictate things to me, regarding the kids or whatever. She felt 'entitled' to dictate nearly everything to me. She even felt entitled to dictate things to me, about the kids, while the kids were with me! And she still feels that power and sense of entitlement. If a "piece of candy is just a piece of candy" and it's no biggie...then why even mention it to me in the first place?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
If a "piece of candy is just a piece of candy" and it's no biggie...then why even mention it to me in the first place?
Thats why I said just ignore it. You are a good dad.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
