Those of you who have had to file bankruptcy after D, what kind of process is it? Approximately how much did it cost and were they able to discharge the debt or merely consolidate it? I am becoming more and more desperate to get it under control. To some people the amount doesn't sound extreme, but it's enough to keep me from being able to pay my household bills and still have any grocery money. I'd appreciate hearing your experiences.
We filed a ch13 (repayment) about 6 months before the bomb. After separation I went back and had atty refile for lower payments based on the new expenses of a separate households.
I feel it was the right thing to do. We had good a credit rating and good incomes but we had too much credit and could see the end of the rope. We'd tried once before to take care of it with a home equity line (huge mistake!) but it was time to end it before they came after us with serious action.
So what about you?
- Talk to a good bankruptcy attorney. Then talk to the other side; Consumer Credit Counseling is funded by creditors so they often advocate not to file but enter a repayment plan. Then do reading on your own. There are pros and cons to both sides and only you can figure out if you can live in your current or future circumstances.
- Bankruptcy is extremely complex so don't even THINK about attempting one those file-it-yourself deals and stay far away from the "we-can-wipe-out-all-your-debt" outfits on late-night TV.
- Cost depends on the complexity of the case. We spent a few thou but it was taken from payments so there wasn't much bite.
- What you file (Ch 13 repayment or Ch 7 liquidation/restart) and how much you pay is based on a set of formulas and guidelines. An atty will determine what applies to you.
- Don't wait too long. You can slowly bleed yourself dry trying to pay off all creditors, interest, and penalties and still end up in trouble.
- Do this once. As our atty said, look at this as a "silver bullet" but not a way of life. Indeed this dog plans to never go back. Living cash-only and loving it.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
It is a challenge, but you are doing a great job. Just hang in there.
I think checking his homework before he can play on the Wii might motivate him. But of course, I also know that you aren't always there (either because of work or cuz he's with his dad). That adds a whole other extra layer of challenge that you don't necessarily have control over. But you guys will pull through this. Just like you've gotten through everything else in your life.
One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. And looking forward to the little things, like playing Wii with your son.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Just an added note about B, here in KS you have to go to credit counseling first before you can even think of filing. You have to receive a certificate from them to proceed. Chapter 7 they want your money upfront so that it can't be discharged, chapter 13 they can add it into your repayment plan.
After you have filed you also have to take a class on line(they are based in ATL) and that fee should be included in your B cost. The worst part, once you get past knowing that you have to do this and accepting that, is when you stop paying your creditors bacause unless you file right away, they call and call and call. Knowing that they were calling really bothered the kids but I explained what was going on and why all before I did anything. Of course their Dad blamed me and said if your Mom would have just not taken alimony and child support, I wouldn't have had to file.(and thus made me file!!) Boy this man is lost!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Mish - That is such good news about Marc's IEP, and probably a great plan (he will be more mature and ready for life with an extra year, too). Sounds like your mom needs a tv from Goodwill or craigslist for her own room - I got one for free. Keep having fun with the wii...
Funny thing is she has a tv in her room. The only way she can watch it is laying in bed though (no room to put a chair in her room) so she has only turned it on probably 4 times in the last 3 years. She lives in her recliner in the living room. *sigh*
I'm liking the IEP plan too. Now, hopefully the implementation won't be too hard on any of us.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
get your mom a smaller bed and a recliner... both available free from craigslist if you watch it.
And, PLEASE quit being such a drone for her... Ridiculous for her to complain about being dropped off early for her appt:
"Yeah, I can understand not wanting to sit in the hospital. Feel free to make other arrangements, I won't be insulted."
Re the TV:
"This is family space, and having fun together takes precedence. You also have private space where you can enjoy your own things. How can we make that space work better for you?"
Mom has been in her room, sick, for 2 days now. She didn't go to dialysis yesterday because she was too weak to get to the car. I wanted to take her to the hospital but she nixed that and just wanted to stay in bed.
This terrible feeling has come over me. I really think this is going to be a LONG haul to the end. She can't get any better and I'm just not here enough to make sure that she has everything she needs. Home health comes to check her vitals and give her a sponge bath but that is all they can do. 2 days a week for about an hour each time. The rest of the time it's me taking care of her or she's alone. I'm SO not qualified for this!
I've been home this weekend because I was afraid to leave her alone for too many hours. I gave up my shift at the store yesterday and I'm not scheduled there the rest of the week. Probably a good thing. Since I was home I have been cleaning and trying to get Marc to help me get some of the Christmas decorations down from the attic. He 'conveniently' finds friends who want to hang out and do stuff. Part of this is definitely my problem. I have a very hard time telling him he can't be with his friends and has to stay home and help me. He only has a couple of friends so having some that actually want to spend time with him is unusual. I hate to tell him he can't. My problem, not really his. I have always felt that I tell him no far too often about everything else so when it is only an inconvenience to me I just can't do it.
None of the above makes a lick of sense does it? I can't seem to put the words in any order that says what I'm trying to say. Oh well, you guys know me pretty well by now so maybe you can make it work.
Church was amazing this morning. "Voices of Mobile" came to perform. They are an elite choral group from the University of Mobile (a Christian university) and perform all over the world. It was very inspirational.
I'll spew this out here so I can hopefully put it away. Feel free to smack me all you like about it.
The sad feelings have been hitting me in lapping waves over the last few days. I shake them off pretty quickly but the more they come the harder it is becoming. It's not one thought that is causing this, it's a myriad of emotions and feelings. Knowing that the situation I am in can not change and feeling hopeless because of it is dragging my spirit very low. There are times that the stupid self-pity comes up and that makes me very mad at myself. Being out at a shopping center yesterday nearly had me in tears in public. That was really dumb, but it just seemed like every corner I turned I would see more families holding hands, couples hugging, people being people basically and it made me feel very, very alone. ICK! I really need to learn to just tune out and keep focused on living with what I have and not wishing for what I won't. Good grief. How many more years is this going to take me? I feel like I've come so far some days, but then seeing something as simple as a man taking a woman's hand and lifting it to his lips will turn me into a sniveling mess.
Ok....all out now.....back to figuring out how to get these danged boxes out of the attic without killing myself in the process. Getting me and boxes through a small hole in the ceiling of the garage onto a rickety step ladder is NOT a pretty sight!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
mish, holidays are the worst days for all people dealing with D and its aftermath. I know it doesnt help much, but please remember that. Things will look up, I promise. love K
