This doesn't mean you give him free reign and swallow all his crap. Let the little things slide. By all means call him out on your important boundaries: e.g. His bad behavior when your friend came over. (I hope I've got the right sitch here... LOL) [/quote]
GREAT advice I'm taking it!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
And that my dear is where one of your problems lies: You worry too much about what other people think of you. My opinion of you should not matter. I'm a complete stranger whom you will never meet.
Originally Posted By: luvless
He called after work and said, ok I'm coming home...I was lagging as to end the convo and he says, "so we doing anything" I tried to be nice and said, "yeah if you want to" - looking back I shouldn't have said if "you" want to.
Hey! You're having a bad day. You don't have to be perfect EVERY day you know? As far as I'm concerned there was nothing wrong with that. You're not a robot. This is minor... when I said let the small stuff he does slide? Newsflash! This applies to you. That was minor.
Originally Posted By: luvless
I hope tomorrow I'll have a better attitude.
You will.
Originally Posted By: luvless
I don't want to think you are wasting your precious and valuable time here with me.
If I thought that I wouldn't still be here.
Originally Posted By: luvless
I'm scared to see how tonight goes - I just don't know
Stop living in fear. All you need is practice.
Oh, and as for the disappointment thing... furthest from the truth. What would disappoint is if you stayed away because you were feeling down. Instead you came and told us.
Listen Luv, what you have been doing the last week or so has required courage and strength. Sheesh, I'm impressed with how well you've handled yourself so far.
Don't forget, Score: 2 pts... on the first day of playing. Not bad at all! Heck, when I started playing that game on myself it took me a six days without resetting to zero at least once a day. Believe me when I tell you there is a method to my madness.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Luv, you are much too hard on yourself! You are doing a great job, and taking the advice given to you. Just because you didn't use the correct intonation on ONE word in a sentence is not destructive. It got the point across. You are doing good. Keep your head up and don't over analyze, it will eat you alive.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Tonight was a disaster - can't even talk right now cuz I'm so upset. I'll let you know in the morning but the night ended with me crying by myself and he telling me he doesn't care about anything anymore.
ok I'm done...a person can only take so much
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
ST - we have both been working on how we talk to each other - that makes the big difference. this is important. glad to hear that, make sure you stick to it for you..even if he isn't...have you noticed if you've fallen back into some old routines? He lost his high paying job yeah and didn't find one for 5 months! but we weren't having any R problems at that time. even if you weren't having any problems, I'm sure this was still affecting him. READ For Women Only. And, did you help him, or keep asking him about getting a job? and/or did he pick a job that isn't as good as the last? maybe he is feeling less than worthy, and he is taking the frustration he has about himself, onto you? a wife or husband is the easiest person to take things out on. How I look doesn't make a whole lot of difference I don't believe I would 99% disagree with this, it's not necessarily about how your body is, or how much you weigh, but how you present yourself. again, read For Women Only. - but I did lose 30 lbs since last year and have kept them off - need to lose some more but look better for sure. If you were needing to lose lbs, that is wonderful! and great on keeping it off! Being healthy is important, physically AND mentally. Which brings me to another question...do you love yourself? Do you like yourself? how do you perceive yourself?
Definately HIM working made things way better...way better. It showed and I actively told him what it meant to me and how I appreciated his efforts....so I just don't get it. Is his top 5LL words of affirmation?
Here we are again...worse than ever with a WAH or WAW...let's see
and G had GREAT advice!!
Last edited by S.T. _I Made It!; 12/05/0905:28 AM.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
listen, tomorrow, just focus on yourself. are you able to get away for a bit? do something for you?
I'm going to ask this question again.
Do you love yourself?
This is important. I'm not talking about a vain love, but a true love, because God made you beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside. Believe that you are of incredible worth, because you are.
do not worry about his words, you know that they don't always mean what they say. when things go bad, we usually say the worst things. and it's okay to hate each other. we are sinful people, not perfect. we are loving an imperfect person, and they are doing the same, and we get to CHOOSE to love that person.
take a break this weekend an focus on you
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
