Trying LRT - Please Help!

[praying_in_GA]

Oh, and 99% of what your H is telling you is script. I have read the same things in other sitchs and heard the same things in my own.

Yep, my H said the same thing. He doesn't want to lead me on or make me think things are better than they are or give me false hope...blah blah blah.

[givingitmyall]

Oh, and 99% of what your H is telling you is script. I have read the same things in other sitchs and heard the same things in my own.

Yep, my H said the same thing. He doesn't want to lead me on or make me think things are better than they are or give me false hope...blah blah blah.

And truth be told, YOU are the only one who should be worried about how YOU will feel if the worst happens. Not H's job.

[motherof3]

[quote=praying_in_GA][quote=givingitmyall]
And truth be told, YOU are the only one who should be worried about how YOU will feel if the worst happens. Not H's job.

Dam# straight. I just wish he would let me worry about that part. I am wearing my big girl panties now. I am ready for whatever is dished out, good or bad. Bring it on.

My biggest problem is the time factor. I have never been known to be patient.

GIMA - BTW, I am almost done reading all of your threads and have learned a great deal. Maybe you should think about publishing your own book? Of course, credit should also go to Coach, Puppy, Greek, and many others.

[motherof3]

Oh, and 99% of what your H is telling you is script. I have read the same things in other sitchs and heard the same things in my own.

Yep, my H said the same thing. He doesn't want to lead me on or make me think things are better than they are or give me false hope...blah blah blah.

PIGA - I would like to know where they all get a copy of this script. Better yet, I would like to get a hold of the writer/director/producer and show them a thing or two.

[givingitmyall]

[quote=praying_in_GA][quote=givingitmyall]
And truth be told, YOU are the only one who should be worried about how YOU will feel if the worst happens. Not H's job.

Dam# straight. I just wish he would let me worry about that part. I am wearing my big girl panties now. I am ready for whatever is dished out, good or bad. Bring it on.

My biggest problem is the time factor. I have never been known to be patient.

GIMA - BTW, I am almost done reading all of your threads and have learned a great deal. Maybe you should think about publishing your own book? Of course, credit should also go to Coach, Puppy, Greek, and many others.

If I had to pay for the advice and help I have received here I would be so poor I wouldn't be able to pay attention.

Hang in there. I had a conversation or two like you will have tonight. Stressful leading up to it, then it went ok. And after it was over, I was reminded that 99% of what you worry about never happens.

And if you read all of my threads, you must be a glutton for punishment! And, I hope it helped.

Good luck. You'll do great.

[motherof3]

S4 just broke my heart today. While I was taking him to preschool this morning he asked me why daddy doesn’t live with us anymore and when he would be coming home. I was not prepared for this conversation and could only tell him that he had asked a good question and that I didn’t know the answers. I feel so guilty and sorry that my kids have to go through this. They are just innocent bystanders who have no say in the matter. They didn’t ask for any of this. It just brings me to tears.

[motherof3]

On another note, I had an IC session today. I feel like I have hit a plateau of sorts with these sessions and don’t plan on going back anytime soon unless something new develops. C did mention that I should think about asking H to attend an MC session or sign up for Retrouvaille. I don’t think that now is the time to ask. Even if H did agree to go I think that it would be for all the wrong reasons and more specifically just to appease me.

[motherof3]

Things that I want:

I want this emotional roller coaster nightmare of a ride to end.

I want someone to tell me everything is going to be all right.

I want to be happy.

I want to be loved by the person I married.

Why I can't have what I want:

The emotional roller coaster ride will continue until I am able to let go 100%. And even then, will it end?

I have heard over and over again that everything will be all right and that I won't always feel this way. Now I just need to believe it.

I can control my happiness, and right now I am letting H control it.

I can't make someone love me, it is a decision that H needs to make.

I know the in's and out's of DB. So, why is it so hard for me to put it into practice?

If you love something enought, set it free. I am scared to take this leap. What do I have to lose? Right now it seems like the answer is everything.

[cpfullofhope]

That is great! I think it's something we all need to print out and read to ourselves on a daily basis. There will be good days where you feel strong and know you will be fine no matter what, and there will be bad days when you are so angry that this is your life. But either way, all you can do it focus on you and making your life and your kids lives happy.

You are doing well.

CP

[motherof3]

Thanks CP.

You are doing well.

I don't feel like I am doing all that well given the breakdown I had last night. Fortunately, a friend of mine was there for me. Unknown to her, she basically is supporting me using the DB approach.

I have known H for half my life either as friends, BF/GF, or as a married couple. He is or I guess was my best friend. Now he says he doesn't even want to be friends let alone married. It is just very hard to swallow. I have been slapped in the face by him (figuratively speaking) so many times lately. I think I am finally at a point where I can just let H go. I just haven't taken that last step. I think I need someone to push me over this hurdle.