Move over... I 'm moving back......

[sandycay]

Hi all,

Also, told my son the it was his job to clean the garage now. My H left it a mess when he left. It was clean the whole time he was gone the 1st time... and he got mad at son and made him walk to bus stop in the dark in 22 degrees with only mintues to get there. He is so hostile towards the boy. He also said "you just like being at that church because your not accountable for anything there"

IMO, your H is projecting anger at S because the SON is being responsible, and the H is NOT. Your H is rejecting all his adult, responsible roles- and the S is painfully reminding him of that. Hence the anger and resentment.

Just my 2.

Damn, you are spot on!

[sandycay]

Well, ended up in the dr's office last night with S. Seems he complained to his dad that he was having upper abdominal pain all weekend and the trainer sent him home Mon from practice early. You think H would mention it to me since this has never happened before.

So, i took him to dr and we got blood work, UA, and xray...waiting on results. Now, the kid has never had blood work so when he passed out and convulsed for a good 30 seconds it was a bit weird and scary to see. Me trying to hold a 155lb convulsing boy up in a chair whose arms are drawn up to chest shaking about, and the technician screaming for the other lady to come help... cause the needle is still in his arm... and because he outweighs me by a good 30lbs was difficult.

In the mean time, FFG and MSC guy are texting me... concerned for S.... FFG offering to bring dinner or help in anyway and MSC guy offering support was nice. They both inquired with phone calls last night (3 hours with FFG convo) (45 mins with MSC guy)(the kids were in bed) and text this morning in regards to S. Very sweet. That said.. why do I feel guilty for talking to two men at once? I am not involved with either one... so that's weird after being in a commited relationship for 19 years.

I did call H on way home to tell him of the situation. He seemed unconcerned and said "well, what's everyone doing tonight, I haven't heard from anyone". Really... shouldn't he be the one contacting his kids? Plus, he hasn't called to see how S was last night nor today. Not very in touch with his own S's well being. Thinks he's being a "pussy". He's such a douche!

[smith18]

Could it be that you feel guilty because, if you do get involved with one, that you have the possibility of disappointing the other. There is nothing wrong with working the buffet line. However, when dating, be aware about making detailed comparisons. It is better for you to take time and get an overwhelming feeling that one is the right guy to continue in a possible relationship with.

[BobbiJo]

Only have a minute as I am trying to put kids to bed but:

A) Your H is def. a dick!!! for how he is handling things with your son

B)I hope your son is ok. Sometimes stress can manifest itself in stomach pain, hopefully he isn't worked up over his dad's behavior

and

C) Jealous am I!!! If I ever meet up with Artist guy, I hope to have a kiss that doesn't make me throw up!!! Oh and my first boyfriend and first kiss (at 16!!! I bloomed late) lives in my town, he is single and still cute... sigh

[smith18]

I wish my first kiss would not have been so memorable. 20 years old and on liberty hitting the town of Anchorage Alaska. Drunk. I had just broken a shipmates nose in a fight and took refuge in the Wild Cherry bar. I was crying because I was forced into the fight. Vulnerable... Rose, a native, spotted me and was on me in a flash. First kiss was a French kiss. Lo and behold, Rose had no front teeth and she was only 26 years old. We were kicked out of the bar (which I think was a strip bar) for lewd behavior. The rest of the night hanging out with her and ending up in a shanty hotel room in the morning was a blur. I want a do over.

[sandycay]

Kerry

That is too funny and gross all in the same time. You have the funniest stories.

[sandycay]

BBJ

Have you looked up old boyfriend?

[sandycay]

Well things are moving right along

STBXH was a ahole to son again last night. I don't know what I am going to do. They only went to dinner and it turned into a big deal. I was out so I had to talk to a crying 15 year old boy for about 30 min. while out with FFG. Poor child .. he knows something is wrong with his dad and he just doens't want to see him anymore. I am really in a mess as to what to do. Conversation with STBXH are really a waste of time and they seem like what he wants in order to start a fight. So I don't want to go there.

On the fun front.... Went running with FFG yesterday and we were supposed go to dinner and movie but on my way to meet hin for a run he calls and says: "Sandy, you can say no but I want to ask you if we can go to a Christmas party my mom's riding (horses) club is having. My mom is there by herself and I would like to go if you would... but we don't have to". So... I said "Yes"
It was fun, the run was great... and before the evening was done he asked me out for next Saturday night. It's for a Christmas party that a couple from his church is hosting. He asked me about it 3 times before the evening was done. He also made me call him when I got home to let him know I made it safe. All in all the "date" was a long one with the run, the drive to his mom's about an hour... and it flew by.

He's so complimentary and with his build I know him slowing down for the run is hard. He's almost a foot taller than me! Plus he is in great shape (did I mention he's been on the FF calendar in years past).

I had to spend sometime with STBXH yesterday working out cell phone seperation and getting the cable bill transferred... blech he dicked out on the cell phone girl and strangly it just gives me peace now. Now, that I dont' have to pretend to like it and that it's ok for him to do that. And there must be some excuse to do that. I feel bad for the kids cause they have no escape and I don't want to them to learn to handle situations with hostility. I will be the better example.

On the SC guy front... still lots of contacts and all my friends back there are trying to get me to come for New Years... which I will see him there. He has offered the plane ticket for me to come.....

Yikes.. I have no idea what to do!

[pearlharbr]

Sorry your H is being such a jerk to your S. It must be awful for S and for you knowing that he has to spend time with a man who is supposed to be loving, supportive and a role model. Blech.

Yay for having two men wanting to spend time with you!

Heard it snowed a tad up there. Hope it helps with the Christmas spirit in your house.

[sandycay]

No snow that stuck here... a few flurries and they went away. Back to dreary rain, I fear.

To bad for Son is right. I wish STBXH would just love him, like everyone else does.

The 2 guy thing is weird. After being committed to one person for 19 years .. it's weird.

But I'm taking it for what it's worth.... at this point.... just fun, when I have time. But time is limited cause I am loving hanging with my kids. Our house is filled with love, laughter, and friends and the Christmas spirit! We are active and healthy and life couldn't be in better for the 3 of us right now. The kids are doing well, but as soon as thier dad text or call them you can see the spark go out of their eyes... till they forget about it. So sad...it would be wonderful if he would change back to the awesome father that he can be.

Think I'll ask Santa for that. It would be a good D if that would happen and the sooner the better.