Well, if she can't be bothere to set aside whatever ill feelings she has for you for a 20 min. meeting about her CHILDRENS Christmas gifts then let her be the one on Dec. 26th to stand in line with angry, tired and impatient shoppers returning gifts
She asked you to provide info, you offered a way to get her that info and she ignored you. So, no big whoop. Let her deal with it duplicate gifts. She asked for a solution, you have her one and it was not to her liking. Oh well!
Well, if she can't be bothere to set aside whatever ill feelings she has for you for a 20 min. meeting about her CHILDRENS Christmas gifts then let her be the one on Dec. 26th to stand in line with angry, tired and impatient shoppers returning gifts
She asked you to provide info, you offered a way to get her that info and she ignored you. So, no big whoop. Let her deal with it duplicate gifts. She asked for a solution, you have her one and it was not to her liking. Oh well!
Hey CityGirl.
True that!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Things are really hard right now, especially with the kids. Son says that oldest daughter (20 y/o from W previous marriage, who lives with her mom) told our two little kids that I was unfit to be a father. She also asked him who he would rather live with! W and oldest daughter say derogatory things about me to them, according to son. I'm the only father this oldest daughter has ever known...and she has turned on me. It's a painful living right now. Things are very hard when the little kids are with me and it's getting worse. They 'use' the things that are said about me against me wheneveer I have to correct or discipline them. And it hurts to have them say the things to me that they do whenever they are mad at me because I'm making them mind, or whenever I don't let them be disrespectful and get away with it.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Antlers, I'm sorry you're now facing this. I don't know what your legal options are, but could it be time to get some counseling for your kids? Perhaps a third party could work with them to counter this ugly influence they're getting from their mother and sister. A safe haven, where they can talk about it without feeling like they're in the middle.
Shocking for me to say, but that's the exact kind of work my W does in her practice, so I have some knowledge of it. There are therapists that specialize in this sort of thing. I'm sure your young kids hate hearing that stuff about you, and it's harming them.
"You broke up the family with your abusiveness that you displayed towards all of us for years. Your 'change' that you say you've done, and money, will never override that. It will live with us forever."
And another from today...
"If it makes you feel better to turn the issue at hand as you have always done then so be it. Everyone and I mean everyone knows the truth. Yes it was my choice to divorce but it was not my choice for the kids and I to be abused like you chose to do to us for years. The kids and I feel the way we do towards you based on your treatment towards us which continues to this day and will always continue because the only thing that has changed about you is your weight. Everyone knows the truth."
I feel like I'm dealing with an alien! Someone 'foreign' compared to the one I've known for 2 decades! Good grief! Unbelieveably selfish and vindictive...both her agenda and her actions!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I feel like I'm dealing with an alien! Someone 'foreign' compared to the one I've known for 2 decades! Good grief! Unbelieveably selfish and vindictive...both her agenda and her actions!
Yep. Well put.
Originally Posted By: Antlers
Here's a text from her today...
"You broke up the family with your abusiveness that you displayed towards all of us for years. Your 'change' that you say you've done, and money, will never override that. It will live with us forever."
And another from today...
"If it makes you feel better to turn the issue at hand as you have always done then so be it. Everyone and I mean everyone knows the truth. Yes it was my choice to divorce but it was not my choice for the kids and I to be abused like you chose to do to us for years. The kids and I feel the way we do towards you based on your treatment towards us which continues to this day and will always continue because the only thing that has changed about you is your weight. Everyone knows the truth."
Am I dating myself as being "old school" by wondering why more people in these sitches don't just drop or block texting from their phone service and elininate these disruptive, upsetting, unexpected diatribes? Just wondering... Of course, the first time I ever tried texting (stepD), I was making so many tortoise-paced, alpha/numeric/spacing mistakes as she tried patiently to teach me (unsuccessfully) via text, that my last text in that sequence (and my last text ever) was, "This is so sad." That was four years ago.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
It's not easy to live with the fact that I was angry, abusive, and resentful towards those that I cared about the most. It causes me pain daily.
After all this time, I see that continuing to feel this pain and being genuinely remorseful doesn't do me any good at all. And it doesn't do the situation any good at all either.
I want to fix things, and I can't. I can only fix me, and if those that I cared about never do see or believe that I've done that, then I can't do anything about that. I have no control over it.
I have to do what I think is right, and let others think what they will.
My kids are emotional wrecks, and having them over is getting harder and harder. They are out of control. And I'm dealing with a woman who is openly hostile and full of hatred and vindictiveness towards me. And she uses our kids as weapons against me.
I'm just venting and journaling, but things are a pure b!tch right now.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Antlers, Your wife is playing the victim card. Her choice of words is telling too (forever, everyone, always.) I can't fathom how much this hurts you. You can't change the past. Be grateful for the positive growth you have made. The kids will eventually see the bigger picture, stay true to yourself and you will be vindicated. I know you can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Then focus on what you can control - keep working on you and help your kids. Have you gotten your kids in with a C yet?
It's the best thing...to focus on what I can control...but sometimes it's hard to do. Why do I still care what she thinks?
I've been telling her for 10-11 months that the kids need counseling. Now she admits they do, but she says it's because of 'only me' that they need counseling! She still doesn't think the separation and divorce have affected the kids at all!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
