Haha! It's a love hate relationship with this site! I think breaks are necessary. The longest I've gone without coming here is 2 days though,since I started in November.
About ending conversations with your mom...how about not letting them start? Ex: "Cutter, how are you doing today? Have you heard from Ladybug?" "Mom, sorry but I just need to take a break from talking about it for awhile. I'll bring it up when I'm ready to talk."
The above phrase is almost verbatim (WH not Ladybug) when my friends and family have asked me and I can't bear to talk about it. It works nicely, no one is offended and I can change the subject.
My mom also goes back and forth with love-hate for WH as well! But at least she still wants us to R.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I think I've been on the site 2yrs. I sucked every ounce of support I could at every chance I had.
I come now to see others succeed and give those support that are going through what I went through.
I am amazed every day how similar all these situations are. I wish the solutions were easier.
I have developed a strong hatred for OM's and OW's. Nobody should be interfering in a marriage. Though I realize there's responsibilities on the spouse too, its just easier to want to get after these O's.
Cutter, Merry Christmas! I'll be thinking of you, too! Take care. It could be tough but we'll all get through it.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Well. Went to MIL and FIL's today. Dropped off gifts for them and BIL and SIL and her children.
MIL had my stocking for me and a present.
I thought back the tears. Smiled and drank my tea. Helped them with some computer stuff and left. Gave a big hug and said to say hi to everyone over xmas.
I did not think I would have a stocking this year. One hard thing over with. A few more to go.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Good job keeping your composure. Your IL's can say "he's doing great!" if WW asks them! I realize your buddies may not give you gifts like my girlfriends, but it is extra nice that your IL's did! And that is very sweet of you to give your IL's family gifts. I did not this year but they know I love them! I don't expect anything from them and totally understand.
And yes, your WW is looking for reasons to contact you...DVD's right before Christmas? Yeah right. But it counts for trying to contact you like I predicted!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
One of the sweetest things. 7:30Am Neice (SIL ) texted me a merry xmas. She is a good kid. I told her I may have a hard day. So she texted me throughout the day... And the evening before. SIL's kids are great. I am really thankful for that relationship. Worth the effort to keep it going. Watched a few movies with mom and dad. At the end mom said. See it was not that bad. All positive.
My reply was. Your kidding right. Today sucked. This is so hard.
Got home and had a few friends pop by to watch the latest family guy dvd.
Now to relax to some music and sleep in
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Been meaning to visit your thread here for awhile.
I understand the love/hate R with this site! Sometimes it consumes me, but it has been such a lifeline. You were part of that for me, so thank you.
I am sorry yesterday sucked for you. I am amazed at how strong the people on this site are, you included. You survived it my friend, and you continue to survive and move forward.
I hope today is better for you!
p.s. I was reading farther back on this thread, you were discussing how OM is the complete opposite of you. My H has been discussing this with his IC... how OW is the complete opposite of me in every way you can imagine. She has been talking with him about how he can find ways to meet the needs he thought she would bring into his life within his M and in other ways in his life. H is starting to get this now... I think!
Did you find an IC for yourself? I seem to recall you were looking?
Thank you mindfull. Thank you very much.