I see what you mean about why she would probably call!It makese sense unfortunately. P, do you feel your muscles ripping through your shirt? You are seriously staying so strong at this NC business!!
LOL ... not really! I just have no desire to contact her at all. I know what it will do to me and I am shying away from it IYSWIM.
My W unfortunately forgets what I've been through. This 'game' she is playing with D, her emotions and me, she cannot win. I have been playing this game of 'using your D as a pawn', off and on, with D's mum for 7 years. I am WAAAY more advanced in the game than she is. I think she has unfortunately forgotten that.
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W is not leaving you alone. just stating facts; not being optimistic.swear.
It's guilt I think that is keeping the tie there with D. Nothing more. Then again maybe she just can't bear to finally drop the rope on D ... no idea.
Heart is catching up with head so all hope is going, slowly, but it's going. That is a good thing for me. I don't want the hope anymore.
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it is messy- We must state things in simple and direct terms with foggy WASs!!
I know. And I was relaying it through a third party so Chinese Whispers will be part of it now too!
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But your letter was really direct and strong! Short and to the point! She got that letter and you've barely wavered in NC; actions keeping true to your words in the letter.
It has been really hard at point and really easy in others. As I've said before though I think it will push W away rather than bring her back in, but it has been really good for me and I don't regret it.
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big deal--does not raise any concern to me on outside looking in.
It does for me unfortunately but there is nothing I can do about it so I'm trying hard (and not always succeeding) not to think about it.
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Same here...could really use a break at least. But NC will only offer you protection as long as THEY leave US alone.
I am my own worst enemy too though as I keep listening to people. See next post for an example of that!
@cutter - thanks. I don't feel better today but that is probably the hangover - Xmas parties and nights out will kill me! This coming from a guy who rarely drank alcohol at all.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
W has now made her FB account private. No further 'attempted' contact from her since Boxing Day. Presents haven't been dropped off for D anywhere either.
I assume that W has spoken to the friend I did on Xmas Eve and she had made her aware of her FB account being public. She will also no doubt have told her than I wanted W to leave me and D alone. So I assume there will be no further contact.
This is what I wanted all along as I know I NEED it. It still hurts a little when I think about it. No 2x4 needed just trying to be honest about both sides of my feelings.
Last edited by P17; 12/28/0909:28 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
No 2x4 needed just trying to be honest about both sides of my feelings.
No 2x4 to be given. Better to be honest than to lie just to avoid a 2x4.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
P, you are very good at being honest on this forum! (at least you tell us your feelings when good or bad)
about the facebook account...I interpreted that to mean she didn't want you to know about her..unless you request to be her friend!I don't get how you jumped to the idea she won't contact you again.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
about the facebook account...I interpreted that to mean she didn't want you to know about her..unless you request to be her friend!
I don 't think she'd add me as a friend, if that is what you are meaning. I haven't seen her since 23 November and she has erased me and D from her life ...
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I don't get how you jumped to the idea she won't contact you again.
The only way I could think that she 'suddenly' changed her FB account to private is because she spoke to her friend who I spoke to on Xmas Eve (who I told it was public). If that is the case then that friend will also have told her that I said 'if W doesn't want to be D's step-mum anymore then she needs to leave us alone'. I just assume if the FB thing filters down so will the comment about being left alone. That's the only reason I think it.
D's birthday is in just over 3 weeks to we'll see what happens with that.
D's mum and I spoke to her on Xmas Eve about what W had said to her about Daddy and Mummy stopping W seeing her and stopping her getting W's Xmas present. We explained we didn't stop W doing anything and that if D still wanted to speak to W she could, that was up to her.
D spoke to me yesterday and told me that she had thought about what I had said and said she didn't want to speak to W anymore because she didn't want her telling her anymore lies.
We're all getting further and further apart instead of closer.
Last edited by P17; 12/29/0909:21 AM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
It does for me unfortunately but there is nothing I can do about it so I'm trying hard (and not always succeeding) not to think about it.