Move over... I 'm moving back......

[BobbiJo]

Too bad stbx is bringing the kids down...that is the main reason why I still hope for my almost-x's happiness, bc it rubs off on the kidlets.

Hoorah for 2 cute guys! Calendar boy, huh? Nice....

Sounds like you are movin on up, too!! Wish I was closer, I would run with you! But I know I would slow you down. Still, you would motivate me.

[sandycay]

Wow 10 days since I posted last? I am not a page 3 girl so let's bump it up!

After a 3 hour marathon session with my attorney....We hammered out our parenting plan and signed the documents. We have a tentative draft of financials.. they will be drawn up over the holidays and hopefully he will sign them ... he is going to be generous if he agrees. It was a tough meeting for both of us. I hope it will seperate the business of this and help with the awkward dance we seem to have when trying to communicate.

I have let things cool a bit with SC guy .... not him, it's me. Nice man, but I am not interested in long distance. Too bad, he's a sweetie but nice to have a friend in my corner.

On the FFG front.... things have been moving forward some. We attended the Christmas party at his friends house. It was fun. He bought me a Christmas present. Several weeks ago he was saying that he found a gift his father had bought him that he had forgotten about.. its one of those phone valet things where you can plug all your stuff in (phone, ipod and such) and I was telling him I had looked at those several times as between the kids and I we have many cords but could never justify buying it. So he got that for me.... (seriously,. it was a 30 second exchange 3 weeks ago.... I mean someone is actually listening to me?.... I almost needed oxygen to recover...LOL)

Also, about two weeks ago we were riding in the car and we passed a billboard for this really cool show they put on in Seattle...so just idle chit chat I said.... Man, I am gonna do that in 2010.... been wanting to do that since I moved here... so next year...I'm doing it" Again, a 10 second blurb in a converssation... well then after opening above gift...he said ... there's a card inside... so I open the card and it's a gift certificate to the show. (ok.... brownie points are racking up for FF guy... I don't know how to act that someone is actually listening to ME!)

Also, on that same day we were out...we were in the city and I asked him which direction he firestation was.... I get a little lost in the city.... and he said... "wanna drive by there"... so I say sure.... well... we drive over there and he pulls in parking lot and stops the car and starts getting out.... Now, I look and there are about 8 FF guys sitting there looking at us thru a big window.... I said... "uumm thought we were just driving by?" He said.....Just thought you'd like to see where I live when I'm not at home"... So, I got the tour, the once over from the guys at the Firestation, and we left. While we were in there... one of the FF ask me if I ride (motorcycles)because FFG has a big one that he rides to save gas on commute... I said "well, I have in the past but not lately" FFG ... says "well, it's a little cold for her right now and the weather is not good but this spring if she's ready, we'll be going.

Wait a minute..... is that future planning? I just stayed quiet. Last night we got to ride the ferry home (as STBXH had to kids) and Secretcheerleader rides the same ferry so we met her there and she got to meet him. Its good to get someone elses opinion.

Plus FFG was honest in a moment last week when he told me he had a profile on Match... but he said, "I just wanted you to know that I have a profile on there, but my subscription is ending so I didn't want you to think that I am out there looking for other dates right now. I did want you to know that I am receiving emails from other women still and I writing them back letting them know that I am not interested in dating right now, that I had met someone, and to wish them success. I didn't like it when people didn't have the courtesy to email you back. I just wanted you to know that".

Well, cool that he is being honest... but now I need to check out his profile in a couple of weeks to see if he's being honest or not about that. He also added that this is where he is at this time and what he wants to do .... He is not pressuring me to do the same....

I find my self being very reserve, which is good but different. In the past (20 years ago) if someone was being this nice and thoughtful.... I would have jumped right in. So it's nice being in a mature place, able to sit back and observe relationships stuff with all that I have learned in the two years I have been here.

Well ... guess I have posted enough.... I will be moving to the Surviving the Divorce on Jan 1, 2010!

[smith18]

Wow! The fishing for you is good up in the Puget Sound - what bait are you using?

My best friend going all the way back to 1st grade works in the Portland fire department. Good occupation and they can get good time off - 1 day of vacation means 5 days straight off. And they can trade shifts.

[sandycay]

Yep good schedule... work 24 off 4 days work 24 hours off 2 days... He has his kids on all of his 4 days off. He was the main care giver when he was married.... now his wife prefers to use a Nanny during his 2 day off as opposed to him getting them. She doesnt' think it's fair that he spend more time with them, then she.......

Kerry.... I don't know about the bait but maybe my STBXH said only one true thing thru this whole ordeal....that I won't be alone for long, that I deserve better than him.... and the very best.... it's not me, it's him. It feels nice to be appreciated!

Merry Christmas!

[smith18]

now his wife prefers to use a Nanny during his 2 day off as opposed to him getting them. She doesnt' think it's fair that he spend more time with them, then she.......

That right there smells of the very essence of batchitt crazy.

[sandycay]

Lucky her batchitt is directed towards many other men so other than using the kids as pawns now and then (they have a pretty welll clad agreeement)she is not in the picture.

[sandycay]

Happy (thank goodness the holdiay is over) Day!

I forgot to mention what the kids picked out for STBXH:

A BRAND NEW SUITCASE!

Yep and I let them get it for him.... LOL The irony was not lost on him as he commented by saying to me privately "Great, I'm gonna have to leave here with another suitcase in hand". I bit my tongue when it wanted to say "well, atleast we get to watch you leave this time, instead of you slinking out of here like a coward"

The reason I let them pick this was because STBXH travels a lot and likes his suitcases to match so when he pulls into a 5 star hotel ... he looks the part...nevermind that he is not affording the hotel .. his company is but I guess it helps feed the "see how wealthy and important I am (old H would have cared less what others thought). Anyway... got him the carry on and his B day is in Feb ... so I'll let the kids get him the big one to match. It's Samsonite so it's very nice. It useful and I'll be damned if I'm gonna buy him clothes to help him look better. He's on his own with that one.

He stayed a whopping 2 hours and then split as if a fire started here. Very weird and nothing on Christmas Eve.... I think he may be involved with a lady from a Kiosk at the mall. She hawks some kind of nail stuff and evidently my D has seen her and H took her by there...of course just to look at the nail stuff and H had mentioned to me that he got "attacked" at the kiosk the week before and the girl spent 45 min on his nails.... and he bought some stuff.... then and went by there with D and had to go to the mall at 5pm on Christmas eve to get a present wrapped... he lives 20 mins from mall... did'nt have anyway to wrap this present... Now, I think he was just trying to make sure we weren't at the mall. He has mentioned this nail crap at least 6 times in the past week!

Plus, I think he is closing on his live aboard boat next week... although he promised my A and me that he would wait until financial were signed. Oh well, guess I can't believe him LOL.
The kids saw the boat and there are not 2 staterooms; there is one and a quarter berth. Guess they will never have a home with their father. So I guess one can sleep in the berth and the other one can get the couch or the table..... YEEHAW!

[sandycay]

Ok...so STBXH was supposed to have kids Sunday and monday night. I have let him use the house to keep the kids at until he has a place to stay. The plan is I leave for those days. Well I spoke with him at 5pm yesterday to plan for this morning practice for our son... as I know EH has to work.

I come home at 7:30am to find my EX left here last night because he would have had to get up a little early to go to work from here.... Same person who got up to fish at 4am.... we are talking about 20 mins early..... YEP.. he left the kids here all alone last night..... Didn't say one word to me.

So I sent him an email that said:

don't know how to address the kids schedule with you evidently. In the future, if your not going to stay at the house with the kids when we have agreed to that, please notify me that you are going to leave them alone for the night. I would have come home rather than S staying in the house alone. When we spoke yesterday afternoon you could have let me know your intention was not to spend the night. It's not a big deal if you don't want to.... I just thought you wanted more time with the kids. I would prefer to know changes in the parenting schedule, as I am sure you would.

As it stands right now, you are scheduled to spend Saturday and Saturday night with them , Jan. 2...... do you still want that time? Please let me know as soon as possible so I can make appropriate changes to my plans that I have already made.


I got a phone call later and he yelled at me for my hostile
email and because I am trying to tell him what to do. and that it is no big deal for the kids to stay at home by themselves. I am at a loss here....seriously?

[LolaL]

<~~~ shaking head in disbelief...

[smith18]

I finally have seen a picture of your STBXH here

Your email was fine.

It probably was rude to just up and leave the kids by themselves, but they are 13 and 15 so I am sure they were ok. I know when I was 15 that I was pretty independent.