So glad that everything is going so well! Keep enjoying yourself. The teaching thing sounds as if it has potential. there is no better time in your life than now to do it.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I got back from my trip to a letter from my solicitor. I thought it would either be there or not, and I decided both of which would be as bad as each other for different reasons but it seems he has signed the papers so that is it. The thing is though is that he is refusing to pay costs as he says that the adultery occurred after the marriage had broken down. Even so he was the one that walked out on me with no explanation than his priorities had changed and he wanted to spend all his time on his new job and with his new friends. We all know what that means and even if there was no overlap she was around pretty damn soon after if that was the case, like a month or so and they were definitely 'friends' before. He was the one that left; he should be doing the decent thing, taking responsibility like a man. He was the one that walked out and never looked back, I could list so many reasons why he should be doing this but I know it is fruitless. Seriously, I would be so interested in hearing what he thinks happened that summer - the re-writing of history part.
I felt so done when I read that letter, I despise so much of what he stands for these days. I could have been so much harsher with him in terms of money, having a go at him and making his life miserable. Instead I extended the hand of friendship and he walks all over me.
Receiving this has made me even more convinced that going to Thailand for the year is the right thing to do, in fact there has barely been any doubt since my friend first suggested it. I went straight out to the estate agents and I can give up my house now if I want to, all I have to do is make arrangements for the cat somehow but I'm pretty sure I will find a way. I just don't want to be here, I don't want to go back to that job that gives me so much time to dwell and stew and I really think that flat sharing with someone and having a complete change of scene will do me the world of good. Just these few weeks have.
I'll write more about my travels soon. I had so much fun; I just had to get this out of my system first. That is why I love this place. Still, it'll be all over soon and it'll be chalked up to past. I can't believe I spent time missing that man over New Year.
On the plus side the cat has taken to sh!tting on the door mat while I have been away and she had done her business all over that letter. Nice one imo Maple.
Enough of a brain purge :-) I can't wait for this to be over with now. I don’t know what I should do really, fight it (probably not worth it), have a conversation with him about it (which would probably throw up a lot of r stuff and be very difficult but perhaps worth it), or just pay the half and be done. I guess I’ll have to think. Ugh, more thinking and about him, what a waste of time. Perhaps when I'm not jet-lagged and emotional. It did make me cry though, really hard. That is a good thing, unusual for me. Coming home to that was a shot.
Its okay to cry, it purges the bad emotions, cleans the soul and makes way for better emotions to come.
48 hour rule...if you do decide to confront wait and think first about what you will say. That way it is constructive, and you won't say something you regret.
Purge away...that's what we all do!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Just to prove why I don't talk to family and friends about any of this my eldest sisters comment last night.
'Yes, you must feel very embarrassed (about getting divorced) especially after that big wedding.'
My Mum and her bring that up really quite regularly, the fact that in their opinion I had a big wedding. There were only 60 people and it was in H's parents back garden with a bbq. Plus the fact that I planned it and it really was my perfect day. Sigh!
My sister isn't known for her self-awareness but still, wow!
WOW! That is pretty thoughtless of her. She thinks you should have stayed M'd to a man that left you for another woman to save face? GAG! Here, if this makes you feel any better.....there were 230 people at my wedding, full festivities before and after, huge reception, etc.. Feel any better now?
I haven't had a chance to go surf through your fb...have you posted more pics?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Have you thought of a good comeback yet to put her in her place? How insensitive!
I have to admit my dad has done similar stuff to me and I finally found my voice and told him how much it hurt. It didn't stop it completely but it helped.
I would have ran away from all of this if I had the chance. Gone somewhere new and started over. Not easy to do with 4 kids. I hope you can go because you are at a place where you want to explore and not just to "get away" from the hurt. Can't wait to hear about your trip.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I was just getting my anger out here. It was so horrid to return too.