P... How are you doing my friend.... I am noticing were not posting as much... Perhaps were healing...
Hey Cutter. I'm doing not too badly. Up and down the same as usual.
Saw my IC on Tuesday. Wednesday was a down day. Thursday was good. Today not bad.
Heard that after the Xmas rush, OM didn't get taken on by the shop W works for. Other than that nothing much to report. Trying to get on with my life. Having a hard time getting hold of solicitor (been trying since Tuesday with no luck).
W has not signed separation agreement as yet. My guess is her solicitor has advised her to not sign it as there is therefore no incentive for me to D her. May have to sell the house here starting Feb. She will not be getting a D until I am ready.
Been having 'waves of love' (best description I can find) for W over the last few days. No idea why.
NC anniversary is coming up - 2 months on 17th, 2 months since I last spoke to W on 23rd, 3 month anniversary of when OM moved in passed on the 10th, 5 months since we separated on the 2nd.
I got to thinking today how much happier I am now than when I was in the M.
As JD from Scrubs says 'when we stop fighting, we find time is on our side'. I am trying to take it easy. Trying to get a bit of oomph back for life again.
Have a few thoughts I'd like people's advice on and will post them when I am ready.
Nothing much else to report.
Last edited by P17; 01/15/1007:49 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
I have been through the "waves of love" for WH and then they are followed by "waves of NUMB" so that might come soon for you!
Quote:
'when we stop fighting, we find time is on our side'
time is on our side because we stop caring when we stop fighting? So time doesn't matter? Is that what this quote means?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I have been through the "waves of love" for WH and then they are followed by "waves of NUMB" so that might come soon for you!
Oh, I've had them for a while. I haven't had the waves of deep love. The forgiving, warm, caring love that we had when together. Haven't really felt that since she left. It was unexpected but nice to feel.
Quote:
'when we stop fighting, we find time is on our side'
time is on our side because we stop caring when we stop fighting? So time doesn't matter? Is that what this quote means?[/quote]
I take it to mean once we let go and stop fighting the sitch, we get the benefit of time back. Time to take it easy, heal, mend, and decide what we want to do. We get patience. Or, as PDT says, 'embrace the suck'.
Watched the movie Mr Brooks tonight. Not sure if anybody has seen it but the first 'movie' scene is a couple making love on a bed and my thoughts turned to W and OM. I've read about little things triggering memories - that was one of those. But, with the sick feeling in my stomach, I just sucked it up and got on with it.
Last edited by P17; 01/16/1002:26 AM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
we get the benefit of time back. Time to take it easy, heal, mend, and decide what we want to do. We get patience.
I think the limited contact with my WH lately has helped me relax today. (Yeah, a few days ago I had fear but today I feel calm). no contact is not fighting. So maybe there is a correlation there...don't fight and you will become patient.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
triggers...P, I couldn't watch ANYONE sharing affection or sexual relations (wait that sounds wrong) on TV or in movies for 6 months without imagining WH and OW. So I get it!
I have triggers daily still. Let's see one of them today was the smell of rain on the deck-WHAM-brought back to last April when WH had moved out but insisted on coming back to the house to work on something. It was right after an MC appointment about co-parenting...it was after this day that I had to declare no contact.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
