Trust me, I won't fail. And don't ever feel bad for me. Any human can strive to attain a goal even if it is hard as hell. Will my business, school and managing my disease be tough? It will be *very* tough but I am done wondering *if* I can do and I am just going to do the best I can. Even if I *do* fail as in get all F's in every class then I won't consider it a failure as I tried *something* way outside my comfort zone.
I might be 40 when I finish law school but hell, either way time is going to pass and I am going to use it wisely.
Better see what type of grades I get first, mindfull! LOL!
Honestly, I don't care what anybody thinks anymore. This is what I want for me. Me and me only. I will make it work. I expect obstacles and very difficult times. I don't quit and I don't shy away from hard work!
Hi CityGirl. How long did it take you to actually decide to go back to school? I know I could go read your other threads... but I was just hoping you could summarize it all for me.
I think its a fantastic choice to make. I am looking forward to following your progress as you experience this beautiful new chapter in your life.
{{hugs}}
Cutter.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I never really had plans to go back to school per say. I graduated from college in 1997. When I got "in thick" with my legal battle I became utterly fascinated by the policy and procedure of it all in the area of family law. And then I had visions of being an attny and walking in the courtroom to handle a case against my H's attny, lol!
I was so emotionally invested in my case I wanted to be sure my desire was real and not something that was being driven by anything else other than a true desire.
Case over. Desire still there!
Thanks for the good wishes! I honestly have not been this excited about anything in a very, very long time.
Thanks for your thoughts on Kevin's thread. I thought I would quickly respond on my thread and expand later. I have to be at school to take care of a few things in a bit.
I went to school yesterday to finalize everything and my advisor gave me much of the same advice you gave on Kevin's thread. The only difference being she thought it was a very smart move to complete the paralegal program.
I don't shy away from responsibility and having an "important" job certainly is not a deterrent for me as I have clients from all around the world that depend on me to assist them in creating the foundation of their business. I am of the school of thought no job is more "important" than another. A counter clerk at a fast food joint has responsibility just as a doctor would have. The responsibility might be different in scope but one isn't "better" than the other, just very different. I have a good friend that is an attny in another state (not in family law) and he asked me if I was nuts to even consider being a paralegal because the workload is so heavy. I actually found his comments rather offensive as he said paralegals are grunts and being an attny is much better.
My advisor did ask me why I chose this route as I certainly (in her opinion after a few very brief phone calls, reviewing my transcripts and meeting with her) would be a viable candidate to pursue law school. I was upfront with her as I will be with you. I do not like school and the idea of being in a classroom for another "long haul" is not a pleasant thought to me. I understand (obviously!) when one wants to pursue a certain career path education is necessary. It has nothing to do with the workload or the responsibility of school. I personally DO NOT enjoy sitting in a classroom. I did *very* well in college the first time around. Not because I am "extra smart" or special. I put myself through college and if I was paying for it then I required myself to do well. Not liking school is not an excuse to not do well. I wasn't miserable because I was broke or working my fingers to the bone waitressing to pay for school. That was fine. I actually LOVED what I was learning in school but I hate being "trapped" in a classroom.
I actually almost said screw it y'day when I was there taking care of some business. I had flashbacks of being locked in a cube for 8 hours a day when I worked my corp. job (locked in a cube, locked in a classroom.. UGH!).
I do think I will ditch my original plan to pursue another four year degree in legal studies after really talking to my advisor. At this time my goal is to finish the paralegal program. While it may not seem like a big deal to anybody else, three semesters vs. six semesters is a HUGE thing to me. I am very excited but I am also amazed I am going back to a classroom voluntarily!
Pending me getting as physically sick as I was last year I NEVER start something I do not plan to finish. Worse case scenario my health fails me, I would still finish even if I had to take one class a semester.
I understand family law is draining. I certainly understand that from a client point of view. I have thought long and hard if I actually could listen to the BS everyday as I know how much BS (and crying!) my attny had to listen to. The workload doesn't frighten me, the responsibility doesn't frighten me the ability to detach from the work does. There are a few other areas of law that do peak my interest and I know a paralegal has many options. Paralegals don't just work in law firms as you said and that is *very* appealing to me.
My sister went to nursing school, became a nurse and worked as a nurse for several years. A few years ago she went back to school and now is a med tech in a stat lab. She loves it. She loves her job. She is now itching to go back to school again. I think she would be a student for the rest of her life if she could. She LOVES being in a classroom and would take every science class she could at as many school as she could simply because she loves science and learning about it. To me, the idea of being in school is a chore let alone taking classes "just for fun"!
This is a huge leap for me. I have had total freedom of my schedule, what jobs I want to take or turn down and all the other perks of self employment. Returning to such a rigid structure is very frightening to me. When I say rigid structure I do not mean the workload, I mean the "be here at 8am" "sit here for 1.5 hours"... it's all so unpleasant to think about!
So I had to STOP thinking and start doing. The responsibility of any sort of job does not deter me at all. It's what I have to do to get there that is a major turn off to me. My attny contacted me a while ago about a legal assistant job he knew of and I really thought about taking it. While I don't have any legal experience as a "worker" (just as a very anal client!) I do have the general scope of skills to be a LA and could easily learn the particulars (as anybody could).
I am beyond excited about what I can do beyond school. I am excited to be doing something different and new that I do think I have a passion for. My biggest fear is completing (the day to day structure of SCHOOL) what I need in order to get there.
First, I'm sure you can complete whatever you put your mind to. Sounds like you are wading through what you want.
Second, there are lots of areas you can go into as a paralegal. I am a trial attorney and have worked with paralegals my entire career. If you can hack it, go through the paralegal training. Both jobs (LA and Para) are not easy, but you will be able to make more as a para. And your job responsibilities will be different, in a good way.
And as far as an area, you are far braver than I to go into family law. After my experience with D, I know I could not do it. So, I will leave it alone. If you have any questions, fire away or find me in the alt.
I am not wading anymore! I finalized my schedule and paid the bill. Got my fancy student ID and classes start on 01/19.
I am now a full time student taking five classes! I should have taken six but the sixth class I needed was filled up and the alternate time of the class did now work with the other five classes. I can take in in the summer. My classes are Legal Composition, American Gov 2, Intro to Paralegal Studies, Legal Research and Crimes & Criminal Practice (think I will like this one, lol!). My schedule is not *that* bad.. Mon. Wed. and Friday worked out to be 8am to 1pm and Tues. and Thurs. 9:30 - 12:15. Not so bad really. I will be able to work in the afternoons, study at night and do a combo of both on the weekends. AND I was NOT the most elderly student in the Legal Studies Dept although I do think the person ahead of me waiting to see the advisor was about 10, lol! The department is small and all the resources seem so accessible so I think it will be a good fit for me.
My divorce (separation actually) was very, very hard as ya'll know. We all know it is hard... the emotional side and the tremendous amount of work it takes to be "ok" or at least get on the road to okay. Obviously the financial side of divorce is terribly stressful as well as all the legal BS. When one is emotionally destroyed everything is just much worse. The smallest task, packing up a box or watching a boxed be packed by a WAS is gut wrenching. As horrible of an experience I had I would not have made it through without my attny or his staff. Everybody says "divorce attnys" or firms that handle divorce/family issues are a**holes. That simply was not the case with these people. They fought for me but nobody acted like it wasn't a "big deal" just because they deal with it all day long. My attny graduated from law school when I was a year old so he has been practicing law for a long time but never made it seem like this was "old hat" or he had "heard it all before". And I can imagine he has heard it all before. But not not from me.
For most people divorce is nothing short of an utter tragedy. It hands down was the worst time of my life. Watching my father die was terrible but it is the progression of life when somebody is so ill. Learning of my disease was frightening but it was the card I was dealt and sometimes that just happens with a disease. For some reason it is easier to reach acceptance for certain "tragic events" or at least it was for me. Logically I knew my father could not live on life support forever. It didn't make it LESS tragic but it was tragic in a different way.
But divorce is something different. I am not sure I can articulate why in a sensible or eloquent fashion. I would like to try and see if I can be of assistance to somebody that way I was assisted on something I simply did not want. Maybe I will be able to handle it, maybe not but I do know I would like to try.
