Hope things are getting better for you in the new year now V. Divorce is always tough, and tougher with kids. All I can tell you, is now that you have nights without the kids, GAL, join a bowling league, join a pool league, take up a sport, go to the gym. Just get out of the house where you won't be going over your time not having the kids. It will improve your mental health tremendously.
Shocked, thanks for checking in on me. To be honest, things really suck right now! I have -500$ in my checking right now and rent, credit cards, and cell bill are all due in a week! I have no real way of making $2000. in a week so I will have to borrow money some how. I am also having a hard time GAL with no money. I cant really even afford to buy food or gas right now. Where is that settlement anyway?? $$$$
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I am sorry to hear all of that, I know how it feels. Divorce is difficult in many ways, and financially it effects families, BIG TIME. I hope you can recover.
It is starting to get harder and harder to remember the last time I talked to my STBXW. I have been ignoring her pretty harshly for the past 3 weeks I think. I just have nothing to say to her anymore. I feel better and better the more I am away from her. She got me on the phone a few weeks ago and had an issue with our old gas utility bill. I told her to take my name off of it a few months ago and she did. But now the company keeps sending refund checks to me in my name! lol So, she was talking about the issue and I was keeping it as short as possible. She started to get chatty and laughing about her issue and I started to soften up. I realized it and got off the phone with, "I gotta go!"
That really made me realize that she has been living off of my "niceness" and "gentlemanlyness" like a cockroach lives off of nothing but water for weeks and weeks. She does not want me but she wants to be friends. She does not want to be married but she wants us to be good co-parents. Everyone here has heard this crap before! So, I have cut her off for good, no friends, no talking, no laughing, and no co-parenting if I can help it. It is working great for me so far! She feels the rejection and I feel free to improve myself without asking her permission! Those days are long gone!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
yes, there is a certain relief and freedom in realizing at deeper and deeper levels that we no longer have to live our lives around getting their permission or approval. life begins to open up in a way that was impossible to anticipate before.
that whole "being friends" thing is such hogwash. I honestly believe it's so that they can feel like they're not such bad people after all: "look what a good person I am; my ex is still a good friend." my xH told me as we walked away from mediation, "I'll always love you." hmph. not sure he ever did love me, but pretty sure none of this involves love!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Right on Hoosiermama! friends?? I dont like people that lie to me- why would I be FRIENDS with someone who lies to me? I got myself and my daughters the H1N1 vaccine this weekend and I ALMOST called STBXW to let her know. Glad I stopped myself. I am the man and I will make this decision on my own! lol She picked the kids up tonight from me and she looked bad again. Is she really looking bad or am I just not that into her anymore?
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I also wanted to be a bit more clear about our new schedule. Now that our agreement is in place for custody I never go to our house. Before I was picking up the kids every night and bringing them back to our (her) house. She was seeing me every night for the last 10 months! Now she only sees me once a week and I do not talk to her. We still go to a divorce support group for children twice a month though. I act like she is a ghost for the most part. I talk only to my D8. This seems to be getting to STBXW. Last tuesday at the support group she says, "so, how was work today." (while I was talking to D8) and I had nothing good to ssay so I said, "eh, ok." Too little too late honey! I guess she has forgotten how she was treating me 8 months ago? Karma sucks huh?
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
