You should have a copy of that song handy by Ozzy Ozbourne called "No More Tears".
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
That is a GREAT PLAN on how to get my tuition paid, Kevin. Thanks so much!
?? I just thought it would be a song you could turn on to help motivate you when things aren't going your way since you said you have been emotional lately. I thought it might bring you back into the strong CG that you are when you are having down moments.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I hope that the wake was an opportunity to grieve the loss of your friend in a positive way.
That sounds like a really tough situation you are going through with the finances. I don't know anything about law or divorce, but I did spend 7 years at university. In my experience, students can get lenience on just about any issue if they find the right sympathetic ear in administration. If the tuition issue is your greatest stressor right now, I would try to get past the front desk and talk to someone in the administration to explain your situation. Most post-secondary institutions have various band-aids solutions for short-term financial crises and they don't want students' success to be hampered.
Hope that helps.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I have had two deferments so far with tuition. I have paid some and did qualify for a payment plan for the rest but the payments are high and I am very concerned about meeting my monthly obligations. The good thing is the student payment plan is interest free (a HUGE blessing, I know).
It's a bit of a frustrating situation as my H and I have not lived together since April of 2008 and had *very* little contact for almost 1.5 years but our separation only became a LEGAL one as of Nov. 19, 2009. I foolishly agreed to file our 2008 taxes as joint and now my H's income is considered for aid this semester. The FAFS did allow me to input my separation date but there is no option to explain all the particulars so I had to go directly to the school for leniency.
I have decided to file my taxes individually this year so this will not be a future issue but for this semester it's a bit sticky. School or not though, two months is ample time for him to sign a few documents and get on with it.
He will go weeks ignoring me (and the ONLY contact I make with him is via e-mail) saying he "forgot" or other such nonsense but when HE needs something he will e-mail me and text me until I respond.
I follow the "routine"... using "I" statements, telling him I feel disrespected and and why without blame and NOTHING changes. He apologizes and does the same thing all over again.
I am under NO obligation to tell him what is going on in my life and it should not matter what is going on in my life. I didn't spend 18 months wrapped up in court to still have to put up with his BS months after our separation was finalized. I would LOVE To just hand this all back to my attny and if I had the extra money I would. I am paying an enormous amount in bills each month that were supposed to be taken care of as per our Agreement.
My H has not lived here in almost TWO years yet he is still using my address for the car/insurance and so on. Now, he is not on the lease, has no access to MY house, no keys.. NOTHING but the Agreement (via the courts) and my weekly requests for him to change these things just don't budge him to change a thing.
It's always "I forgot" "It's not my fault" "things will be okay" "I want to work with you but I forget to check my e-mail".
It's maddening. My line of thought is it shouldn't matter if I just won 20 million dollars in the lottery - it has no bearing on what WE have to take care of to finish dividing the assets. His outlook is things will be okay so no rush.
It's the same crap with him. Y'day he went back to his favorite "complaint" of him having no home. Well, he HAD a home and he chose to leave it to be with his affair. He makes well into the 6 figures so if he has no real home then who's fault is that? (and, FTR, he lives in FREE house as the home owners live in another state for 9 months out of the year). To him, it's still my fault. He is still whining about how he feels he is now being punished for being unhappy in the marriage. LOL! If he was so unhappy then he should have let me know. Writing me love letters and bringing me flowers once a week for 10 years didn't really clue me in to his unhappiness.
And for any LBS wondering if "letting somebody go" in EVERY way works - well, it might or might not but once you do and they really "get" that you did they will try and hang on. That is not to say they want to reconcile but I am really starting to think for some WAS it *is* all about control. Especially when they have behaved in an out of control manner for a very long time. Funny how a WAS gets all out of sorts when they realize for the first time the safety net of the LBS is GONE.
And now that I have purged all of this, I am going to have a GREAT day! I have a b-day dinner to attend tonight that should be great fun.
Happy Saturday! And thanks for the support and ideas!
CG, that is so frustrating. It's incredible that even legal documents aren't enough to make agreements stick. I guess all of this just reinforces that you are better off starting fresh.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
