Yesterday was the first day that I truly felt mad at my WAS. Since she left, I wanted nothing more than for her to come back. Today I started feeling like I hated her, that she is being self centered, and how could she do this to me. In the back of my mind though, I still would like things to work out between us, but it seems like its a 1 in a million chance. She seems so set in her decision, other people have told me this also. Some of the things she has said are really fudged up. How do I act now when she is around now? Before I felt like I was walking on eggshells, scared to see her because I didnt know what was going to happen. Now I feel like maybe I should show her that I do not care anymore.
Sitch: http://snipurl.com/u4zrz
M-11y
D talk-7/28/09 W Moved out-9/01/09 W wants D-9/22/09 W doesnt want D-12/1/09 W Moved in/I Moved out-12/21/09 W wants D-1/19/10 D Final-04/15/10
Well, from personal experience, to me that meamt it was time to look the other way and have as little interaction as possible, but with kids, that didn't work so well. I see you don't, so, that should make it all the much easier to just let her be and carry on with your own life while she does what ever it is she needs to.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Since she left, I wanted nothing more than for her to come back. Today I started feeling like I hated her, that she is being self centered, and how could she do this to me.
I did the same in the beginning, just wanting her back no matter what. Then it moved to hate. The hate does subside in time. When you start living your life for yourself, it makes that other part go away....it still comes back every now and again, but much less.
M 32 WAW 34 D - 5 S - 4 PA 1/09 Moved out 3/09 She filed 5/09 90 Day Postponement 11/09 State Dismissed case 4/10 Moved home 9/10
Hey there brknheart. I'm sorry to hear about your sitch. I've been there myself for quite some time now. It does get easier with time but you're always going to have those moments. Dday is right in saying you should just go dark on her and cut off all contact. Like Dday though, I couldn't do that with my W because we have a young son together.
The worst thing for me is still the loneliness too. Find something to fill it though. It doesn't have to be a new woman. Even more regular contact with friends can help. You do get used to waking up alone. It just takes time. Put on the radio and sing your heart out to your favourite music. Try to find a positive in being on your own. I know that's hard now but it will get easier.
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
Well, I know this isn't a ray of hope for you, but, many more days like this are to come, so find a way to cope and get by. At least it can only get easier to deal with.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Hello, I can relate to your pain. I have been feeling angry too. I want to be with him, but the pain I've felt makes me believe I could never trust him again. I feel used and thrown away like trash. I'm hoping this fase will end soon. I want to continue feeling better for my children but I just don't know how to start. I miss him so so much.But I'm so hurt.
My Wife just moved out yesterday. I stood in my living room alone and stared at the walls. I could not stand it any more. Had to go out for a drive and a walk etc. The loneliness is driving me insane.
I know your pain. Mornings and nights are the worst. And she even haunts my dreams sometimes. I sometimes hear her calling my name in my sleep. But the reality is that she is gone and she would be happier if I were a million miles away from her.
I just cant get over the fact that she would rather live alone than to stay with me. And I was never an abusive husband. Just can't wrap my brain around why she would just want me out of her life and living space.
Like you I was mad at her yesterday also. Busted my butt to help her move on my day off and all I wanted was a hug and a kiss before I said goodbye. (yeah I know, needy, clingy). All I got was a dirty look and she told me "you volunteered to help move me". Why am I such a dumba$$ sometimes?
Guess I should go dark for a while but the only darkness I have is the one falling over me right now.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
You need to let her go. Focus on yourself. As long as she knows she has power over you, little can change. She has to respect you and for this, she must see you doing just fine on your own and happy.
You need time away from the madness amd pain to find yourself again. It is my opinion that a WAW needs to know you love them, but you will not tolerate their inconsiderate behavior. Set boundries and take control of yourself.
In truth, the great thing about getting a life and working on you, is that whether she comes back or not, you are prepared.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
