Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 34 of 43 1 2 32 33 34 35 36 42 43
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
It all comes down to what one person is willing to do for the other. I know alot of couples who have loads in common, but they just don't want to do things with each other.

On the flip side, I know many couples who are very different, yet they do what the other wants because they understand that it's important to the other.

Pushing it further. If you were sick with cancer and couldn't do anything. According to him he would leave because suddenly you don't have anything in common.

If your boyfriend is saying to go with people who you have more in common with, it's being lazy. Plain and simple.

Any and every R takes work on both parts.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 139
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 139
Pearl,
I think it is great you and BF are different. Think of all the new and different things you have experienced with him that you might not have done if you were more similar. I can say the same thing if my situation. For example, H got me interested in mountain biking and I broadened his horizons in ethnic foods. For activities I know H is not interested in, I reserve those for friends who like the same stuff as me.
So your interests like the museum/ballet can always be enjoyed with great friends and then you and BF can try and find some new hobbies together. And it does not really seem like you two have a problem keeping busy - your social calendar seems pretty packed.


Me: 42, H: 43
Daughters: 7,5
Together: 16 Married: 9
Jan 2010- Piecing
Fen 2013 ????
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 405
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 405
Hey Pearl,
FWIW I would choose opposites over clones any day. You can always find something in common - no matter how hard you have to look. If you only have common interests its hard to find your own voice or personal time. Just my opinion....

(((Pearl)))


T


ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09
Served with D papers 6/6/10
Current
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,256
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,256
Viva le difference! smile

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,220
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,220
Thanks everyone. Yes, I tend to agree that differences are good. That's how we experience new things and expand our horizons.

And stuck, BF said that back when he was deep in A fog, now he's back to thinking our differences are good and we're also pursuing new hobbies together.

I'm off to pack for the mystery trip weekend. Have no idea where we're going but I've been told to pack two dresses. Think that means I need to redo my toes!


If you love somebody, set them free.
http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,256
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,256
Can't wait to hear about it! wink

Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 690
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 690
Two dresses!

cool!

I'm on the side of differences in couples--not in core values, of course, and I think similar backgrounds can help...but I think it can be more fun if he goes off to play tennis while you go play Mah-Jong--come back together at the end of the day to talk about it. Take each other to the social groups that form around those interests.

As long as there are things that you do enjoy doing together, I don't think you have to be joined at the hip for everything.

Might even get a bit boring, no?

Have a great trip!


Me: 44
Him: 42
Together: 23 years; never married
Bomb: August 1, 2009
Affair since May 2009
Walk away; no conversation; no process
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 712
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 712
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
I'm off to pack for the mystery trip weekend. Have no idea where we're going but I've been told to pack two dresses. Think that means I need to redo my toes!


Looks like he's meeting his "wooing requirement".

I'm very happy for you.


1st
2nd
3rd
Current
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,220
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,220
True Dudess, he is wooing. And yet I still broke down on the plane because the movie triggered the memory of finding the text messages on his phone. And I'm back to thinking all the fabulous trips won't take away the fact that he cheated on me.

BTW, we're in Manhattan, one of my favorite places. We went to a show last night & are on the way to a matinee now. This is all for me bc he doesn't like musicals.

MF & all, I can't log into my DB FB acct from my phone.


If you love somebody, set them free.
http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,975
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,975
Hey! Pearl!!

Wash that thought right outta your head!!! For crying out loud!!!

Manhattan! Fab! Truly one of my fave places, as well! I'm so jealous!

I'm sure you're not having ANYTHING good to eat, either!

Love it!


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Page 34 of 43 1 2 32 33 34 35 36 42 43

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard