Too Late For Us?

[mrbt]

Puppy, Shock, Sandi, Thank you for your comments.

She has an extra cell phone (pay as you go phone) that I have never seen. She keeps it well hidden. She claims the phone is just for the purpose of corresponding with the lawyer. She also has an additional e-mail account - maybe two.

When EA initially came to light, she turned the phone over to me and deleted the extra e-mail account. A month or two later they grew back and were subsequently re-discovered by me. This time she was already talking divorce and therefore had no intention of turning over the phone or deleting the e-mail account.

Its likely there is still contact with the OM. Assuming this is true what do I do? The situation feels hopeless to me.

Sometimes it feels like things are going well and then it comes crashing down. This makes me wonder if contact from the OM is doing this. The way she explained things to me the OM told her he wasn't interested in pursing anything with her (this was back in June). Maybe he just pops in and out of the picture just often enough to screw things up.

BTW, I went to an IC when I was having an EA......and she "encouraged" me by saying nothing at all was wrong in what I did! That's why I said her IC could be discouraging her. The lawyer won't make money unless she D you, right? Just my thoughts.

The lawyer certainly isn't any help. I was told the lawyer offered her cousin (real estate agent) to help sell our land. I know the counselor is in favor of saving the marriage ( I was invited to one of her sessions ) but he is very passive in his approach. His primary focus in the counseling is on her other issues right now. The stuff she is dealing with is pretty heavy and I do believe this the source of the depression. Her counselor told me she needs a lot of space right now or the marriage would fail. Problem is, I don't think she shares the full story with the counselor.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Puppy, Shock, Sandi, Thank you for your comments.

She has an extra cell phone (pay as you go phone) that I have never seen. She keeps it well hidden. She claims the phone is just for the purpose of corresponding with the lawyer. She also has an additional e-mail account - maybe two.

Well, there's your answer. One doesn't need a separate cellphone to correspond with their lawyer!!

Puppy

[mrbt]

Yep. I know this. But would still like to see the evidence.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Why? What would it tell you that you don't already know??

[mrbt]

I guess I would like have absolutely no doubt. When I ask about it now she denies it and is very convincing. I think when you have been with someone this long (25yrs) you want to trust them even when the evidence tells you not to.

[ShockedOne]

Put a keylogger on the computer. There are a few good ones with free trials. There are some really great ones if you are willing to spend some money. You want evidence, there you go. You may not like what you find.

[sandi2]

I think when you have been with someone this long (25yrs) you want to trust them even when the evidence tells you not to.

In other words, you want to move back in with her regardless of what things may point to.

[mrbt]

No. Just want to find the truth.

[mrbt]

Arrrrgggg. What to do. What to do.

Do you think I should buy some furniture for my apartment?

[sandi2]

I don't think you need to do anything like that until you "know" what it is that you intend to do. Why buy an apartment full of funiture unless you know you plan to stay there?

Your emotions are screaming to you to "DO SOMETHING.......DO ANYTHING, BUT JUST DO SOMETHING", and that is when people mess up. Get out of panic mode so you can have the right thought process.