Thanks Bobbijo & GF. I am so pleased with how this whole thing has worked out!
I walked by this house almost daily for 6 months (it's just 2 houses down from where I'm currently renting) thinking this is EXACTLY the kind of house I want to buy.
And lo & behold, just when my rental lease is up & I needed to find someplace to live ...it comes on the market!! and the lady was happy to keep it as a private sale in order to keep me in the neighborhood. Guess it paid off to take holiday goodies around the neighborhood this winter! LOL
The wonderful thing about this deal is that the owner is working on a deal with me to let me purchase any of the furniture she has! Which includes some 'nice' stuff.. leather living room set, almost new washer/dryer, frig, etc. bedroom sets, etc.
This a big deal for me because I took a cash settlement for the household goods in the D instead of the 'stuff' as it was difficult & not cost effective to move it 600 miles.
I have been furniture shopping this week to fill in the 'gaps'. I"m so excited.. I didn't have to check with anyone else to see if they "liked" it too! It was what "I" wanted and what "I" liked. No eye rolling, no dragging of feet, no huffing that I was taking too long to decide... so nice!
For GAL this week: I am headed out in a bit for a women's meetup group this afternoon (hot yoga) and then a movie tonight. On Monday, my wine meetup group (yes I started my own!) is meeting for the 2nd time, Tuesday is the dog shelter volunteer night and then Thursday I'm headed back to see my daughters Spring Play next week-end. Whew!
OK.. I should get up & finish my coffee & get going instead of just talking about it!
Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
Good stuff. I'm supposed to go to a Game night tonight with a group on meetup.com. I don't know why but I'm nervous. I'm an extrovert and outgoing, but just going to a house where I don't know anyone at all is tough. I feel like a kid again moving into a new neighborhood.
Good time to buy a house. Did you get a good price?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Hi Bridgestone, congratulations on the new house! Will raise a toast to you on Canada day! I agree with GF, you and your story are an inspiration. Thank you also for your encouragement on my thread. I appreciate it. Happy to see good things are finally coming to you.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Ahh.. yes, just when I needed a sign from above. He provided.
Detaching is so much easier when they continue to spew the mean, nasties and deny their role in healing and/or harming the R.
In midst of the fallout from a week-end event, XH relates that he never really forgave me for things from very early in our R as well as early in our MC efforts. And he never has really trusted me since then..
huh, go figure.. I wonder if that is why it was difficult to reconcile, deal with his own growth & anger issues when he didn't forgive.
oh well, while not perfect in my growth efforts and changing.. I was willing to work through the efforts it took to forgive and open the path to rebuilding trust .. well past time most people would have.
And I move along...there's something beautiful to see.
Hi again Bridgestone, Just a thank-you for a great comment you wrote on another thread:
"Learn to VALIDATE.. really truly, what she does share with you for thoughts and feelings...not this "i understand how you feel & I'm sorry you feel that ' BS that is sometimes pushed around here as validation"
I forget sometimes that all validation is not created equal! I needed to hear this. I've written it down to help me stay objective and hear a little deeper - to understand if I'm *really* being validated or not.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Detaching is so much easier when they continue to spew the mean, nasties and deny their role in healing and/or harming the R.
Hey Bridge,
Glad things are going well with you. I just want to chime in with one note of caution. It may seem easy when the X reinforces why you left, but in reality I think it's not so clear-cut as that. Conflict is an attachment in and of itself. By holding on to that finger-pointing, justified as it may be, you're still holding on. There is as much of an attachment with disappointment or anger/hate as with love.
The thing to strive for is not feeling the need to comment on it anymore. To let that attachment, and the associated tally-card of who did what, go - frustrating as that may be. Trust me, I had to learn to do it with my parents and then with my XW. Until you learn to truly accept that it was what it was and to let it go, you'll never truly be free. Leave that completely behind and trust solely in yourself now.
Not trying to be a wet blanket on your progress, because it seems like you're doing great. Just hoping you don't get into the morass that I got into.
