WAW and the law of attraction

[FormelyknownasF]

[quote=Fracesc]

So you pay rent for 3 months at this place, ditch it, no worries, no excuses.

And you're worried about what's fair with pushing your wife out? You're not pushing her out, you don't get it, she's choosing to leave, you have nothing to do with it, it's ok, it's not your problem.

I will think about that under this new light of the affair.

[Steve McQueen]

hey no problem. I've seen alot of affairs, know alot of affairs going on now, talked to people on both sides of the fence and have friends who have gotten to the point of open marriages. I can tell you true stories that would turn your stomach, but
I would'nt tell you to get out and have some fun and start thinking about yourself and not your wife for a while if I taught being $hit upon to be a good thing or a productive way to get to a point where you could effectively work on a relationship with your wife.

Maybe I change my mind later but I also need to acknowledge that I made mistakes that confused her and pushed them to that unfortunate decision.

what is "unfortunate" about their decision? "unfortunate" for you maybe. But for them, well ....

[Greek]

Hey Frac ~
What is if you ring up Mrs. Call All The Shots and tell her you want to meet before next week. Pick the day and tell her that's when you would like to talk. Tell her that you have some information you want to share with her and it must be done in person. It can't wait.
Greek

[Gnosis]

Frac, those few pages in DR are NOT going to help you. For now you do the following:

1) Break off ALL contact with your W. EVERYTHING. Email, text, phonecall etc.

2) Sit down and get a hold of yourself. Calm down. Your mind is flying in 2000 different directions and you're in a highly agitated emotional state. Just CALM down.

3) YOU DO NOTHING right now. NOTHING. I'll repeat that: NOTHING. That means you do not talk to her, do not look for her, do NOT go to her FB page. You stay the hell away from anything that is going to trigger you.

4) Once you have gathered your senses you sit down and work on a plan. What you are going to be advised to do is going to seem like absolute madness. It will be counter-intuitive and your mind is going to be screaming blue murder! Ignore it.

The weekends are quiet on the board as many people are away from work. Sit tight. You're going to get a shirtstorm of activity on your thread come Monday. You're going to be pulled in 50 directions of people telling you what to do and how to do it... Expect it.

I'd like you to keep in mind one thing: The soft, compassionate approach does not work very well with WalkAway Wives in the midst of an affair. You're going to have to suppress those wishy-washy melty-man tendencies within you.

I'll try keep up to date with your thread.

[FormelyknownasF]

When you do meet with her, you say "W, I know about OM. I will not be part of an open marriage. You will either commit to working on our M and that will mean no contact with him. I will expect you to verify that with open cell phone and email accounts. If you will not agree to to no contact and to work on our M, I will begin interviewing lawyers tomorrow."

Until you do meet to have this discussion, disclose nothing to her. In fact, you should make yourself very hard to get in touch with until the meeting. Go dark.

Expose the EA to the OM's W. She needs to know. And when she beats him over the head with it, your W will be so yesterday. He will drop her.

Greek

Greek

She's not agreeing in working on the relationship, she'll take the divorce offer as a freedom pass.

Again, I don't have a way to contact this guy's wife.
How can I do that if I don['t even know who he is!

[FormelyknownasF]

I'm still thinking if I should share with her just a print out of the "Not-so-great Escape" chapter. She deserves to know what she's going through. She's repitting her best friend's pattern!

Any thoughts on how she could react to this?

[Greek]

why tell her anything. why even bother talking to your wife. if you are convinced she is screwing around and that next week she was going to dump you why give her the satisfaction? would you cry in front of her? tell her to f off and storm away? or laugh in her face?

despite what alot of people say on this site, its not about her. ITS ABOUT YOU!. and despite the pain and the heartache you might be feeling now, YOU WILL GET OVER IT. the sooner the better. the sooner the better.

think about the coral reef analogy. some fish are pretty. some are even prettier. some are blue. others red. some are good to eat on a friday night. some bite and others bony. whens the last time you had some tuna?

I think you know everything there is to talk about. what more is there to learn? why bother putting yourself through it? why even think about it? spend all night toss and turning and hitting on a bottle of jack? ill.

there are alot of fun things to do on a friday night! find some friends to take you out. if you were your wife and she just found out and called her friends, i wouldn't doubt they be yelling, 'dump that loser lets go out and find you a new guy' and she would be out having a good time, excellent time forgetting all about you.

or you can pine away on this site for months and not get on with your life or even get to a point to where you can effectively start working on putting your relationship back together.

Steve, really? Cut it out. The guy is reeling and hurting and confused. You're offering him momentary distractions that in the long run are not solutions to his current problem.

Greek

[Gnosis]

You're still NOT LISTENING are you?

[Gnosis]

Sit down and get a hold of yourself. Yes this sucks. Read my first post to you.

FOR NOW THAT IS ALL THAT YOU DO. i.e. Shut up, sit tight and wait for the shock to pass.

[Greek]

I'm still thinking if I should share with her just a print out of the "Not-so-great Escape" chapter. She deserves to know what she's going through. She's repitting her best friend's pattern!

Any thoughts on how she could react to this?

NO! It will not convince her.
Greek