WAW and the law of attraction

[gucci loafer]

NOW you are thinking. These are all good questions. You are already getting good focus...

1. What about the joint account. I can get my paycheck changed as of tomorrow so it wont go through the joint one account.

Great idea. Change it right away and do NOT tell your wife.
Just do it.

2. The phone bill is on my name on the old place. Should I cancel that and let them cut her internet?

Now you are thinking... Of COURSE you should cut it off if you are paying for it (you are paying for her affair)
Cut it off. Don't say a word... Maybe the OM will pay for her internet and phone huh?

Again, my worry with those actions is not that my wife gets upset but that she'll notice that I'm weird and suspect that I know about the affair. She knows I know her email's password.

She very well may suspect you know. She won't tell you about it though if you don't ask. That leaves her with quite a problem then doesn't it?

You don't know this yet, but when you do these things you will actually be starting the process of her RESPECTING you again. You have been groveling and being weak by thinking that if you tried harder and was more this or more that, that she would want to stay with you. I told you that you had the wrong diagnosis. That was NEVER going to work because it wasn't about you. It was about the AFFAIR. You were in a gunfight without a loaded gun. Not good.

[Kimmie Lee]

Thanks, Gno, Right on the money! I was just going to post that he has a lot more power than he realizes. And the bit about re-reading this thread is good too. I used to do that when I could feel my mind going....open the pod bay doors HAL.....

Ok, back on task. F, please don't worry about you w getting mad at you. It is a non-issue at this point because she is in lala land. In fact, some anger can be good. Especially for you. Don't be scared, be angry and channel it constructively.

You can do this.

Take control of your own money and let her pay for her own stuff. Cancel everything at the other place that is in your name. This will be a major show of strength and may shock her into realizing that she is not calling all the shots here.

She wants freedom? Give it to her.

Is the other place a rental, or do you own it?

[Dudess]

1. What about the joint account. I can get my paycheck changed as of tomorrow so it wont go through the joint one account.

2. The phone bill is on my name on the old place. Should I cancel that and let them cut her internet?

Again, my worry with those actions is not that my wife gets upset but that she'll notice that I'm weird and suspect that I know about the affair. She knows I know her email's password.

IMO, this is not the time to do those things.

Given that she knows you know her email password, I would think she would get suspicious quite easily. In view of this information, I would be inclined to wait until she contacts you about meeting, and then reply via email or text that you are busy until after next weekend.

[Gnosis]

I'll read and think about your other answers in a moment. This jumped out and needs to be made clear to you:

4. I'm scared to lose her. And feel very guilty that I pushed her into that place. I'm sorry. Part of the process is accepting your part of the responsability. I am doing that.

I'll break this apart for you:

I'm scared to lose her.

OK, here's the plain truth. YOU HAVE LOST HER. Your marriage and relationship as you knew it IS DEAD. You need to get this into your mind ASAP. This does NOT mean that you give up. What this means is that you are going to build a NEW relationship with her IF possible. There are no guarantees here.

And feel very guilty that I pushed her into that place.

You didn't push here into the arms of another man. She had the choice to raise the problems in your relationship and work with you to find solutions. She didn't. Instead she chose to live in fairyland and take on another lover and lie to you about it.

I'm sorry. Part of the process is accepting your part of the responsability. I am doing that.

Fine and yes, that is important to do. But don't accept everything she says at face value. You already know that she is a liar. You need to use your own discernment to distinguish the TRUE reasons. Many times the reasons given are not the truth but excuses to justify their bad behavior.

[Kimmie Lee]

Listen to Gucci and Gno.

Hang in there. We're here.

[gucci loafer]

She isn't going to care if he knows. She thinks she is in love with the OM. Deeply in love. When he changes the accounts and stops paying on the phone bill etc..

She will call him in anger. She won't be thinking any such thoughts that he will expose. Remember. She thinks that the OM is leaving his wife, so exposing isn't going to enter her mind. She already thinks it IS exposed and that they are going to be happy ever after...(and it very well may be exposed. We want to KNOW for a FACT if it is. The only way to get that as a fact is to talk to the only person who can answer that. The OM's wife.) We need to know before we proceed to the next plan.


She will call and be angry and say.."why did you do that to our account. How dare you. I thought you wanted to work this out, but NOW I am done." (or something to that effect)

Just tell her.. "I have been doing some thinking and I decided that I thought this was the best thing for ME.


Then expect her to respond in more anger. Let her. Just say no more and stand by your original statement. Get those things done NOW. Exposing will be done as soon as we can find out how to contact the OM's wife. If you wait, you are running the chance of HER taking ALL of the money FIRST.


Don't worry. She isn't going to associate the money with exposure. She may thinnk you have an idea, but I would guarantee she will deny it if you asked her. Just let her believe that you are getting tough because you don't want to be with a woman who doesn't want to be with you.; Leave it at that.

[FormelyknownasF]

She wants freedom? Give it to her.

Is the other place a rental, or do you own it?

Thanks so much for this. I appreciate you telling me about the power I have.
For years I wouldn't realise that. I feel empowered now, crushed but empowered. I thought i was the disapointement of this marriage and turns out she ended up being who messed up worst.

It's a rental.

[Dudess]

Have you copied/printed the emails?

OM's wife may want to see them.

[Kimmie Lee]

It's a rental. Excellent! Let her pay her own way from now on.

You're doing good.

Breathe,

You can do this.

[gucci loafer]

Have you copied/printed the emails?

OM's wife may want to see them.

YES.... You HAVE to have those copied/printed and all evidence possible gathered. She may want to deny her husband would do such a thing. (like you did earlier when I mentioned it to you) Have the evidence ready and able to show her.