I would send a brief private message to her first, being upfront about who you are and why you are writing. Don't be too cryptic, as she might ignore you. (Lots of random weirdo guys send messages to women on facebook). On the other hand, wait until she responds to you to give her the details about your evidence. You could just send the first 5 paragraphs of your draft and add that you have evidence if she would like to know more. Do give her your phone number.
It wouldn't hurt to try to reach her on facebook. There is an option to be immediately notified of FB messages in your regular email, so if she has set it up that way, she may get your message even if she doesn't check FB often.
I don't know about telling her "Ask him about this". Hopefully the exposure pros will weigh in here, but seems to me that rather than "ask" about it, once you have the evidence, to say "I know all about your affair"
Sounds good to me. Do you think in that first approach I should ask her to keep this from her husband for now? (the fact that I contacted her the first time).
I hear you on the Ask thing. I was trying to make it look as if the evidence is really punctual, not just I love you, kiss, kiss. But actual details of both of them, their lifes, they complain about her and me, again, very specific things. But I also I agree that's like giving her a script and she might not need one. She'll be pretty inspired to rant on her own maybe.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
Now all I need is actual info on how to put together the 'package'. I have mostly emails and screen grabs I had some pictures of them having dinner (but I've miss placed my usb stick during the move! But anyway, the evidence in writing/email is far convincing I think. It was to me at least and i was on denial.
Then I'd also would like to know the actual sequence of events. Because most of the stuff (cancelling phone line, changing my paycheck to my personal account, etc) do take at least 3 to 4 days. And if they need to be synchronized I need to act soon. (new phone bill starts after 31 March).
There's also this whole debate about the money. We've always said we'd take half and half. But apparently there's an interesting theory about me taking it all for the time being (not forever) as a security caution. My only worry with that is that her family will become incredibly upset at me and might even bring lawyers to this. I can't afford to lose her family. I need them to be on my side if anything.
Last edited by Fracesc; 03/21/1005:40 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
"My wife and your husband are planning on being together. He told my wife that you know about this and that he doesn't love you and is only staying for the kids, but will be telling you soon so that they can be together forever"???? Are you aware of this stuff going on with your husband and my wife?
NOW is the time to tell it All... This is the dropping of the BOMB...... If you leave anything out ou will be wasting an opportunity to blow this wide open. If you don't tell it all now, then you give the husband a chance to lie and spin it in his favor......
The reason I suggested you send a message with the basics and ask her to reply or call for details, is the 10% chance you deem that this person is NOT OM's wife and/or the chance that OM has access to her email and/or FB account. I guess you would have to consider what, if any, the harm in sending the whole enchilada the first time could be. I would want her to have everything.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
Do you think in that first approach I should ask her to keep this from her husband for now? (the fact that I contacted her the first time).
You can ask, and suggest that it might be in her be in her best interest to think and plan first, but once she has the info, be prepared for anything. Many people go off without thinking and confront immediately
Fracesc, tell us more about this Law of attraction forum your wife is into. I am interested in what they have been saying to her.
btw. and probably why I harped on you to get out of the house and stop thinking about her, is my wife got interested in some new-age religons and the like. Still is to some extent. Totally freaked me out and her behavior led to the me just giving up. It wasnt until she realized I couldnt care less any more and had given up that she turned about face and questioned what she had lost.
Fracesc, tell us more about this Law of attraction forum your wife is into. I am interested in what they have been saying to her.
btw. and probably why I harped on you to get out of the house and stop thinking about her, is my wife got interested in some new-age religons and the like. Still is to some extent. Totally freaked me out and her behavior led to the me just giving up. It wasnt until she realized I couldnt care less any more and had given up that she turned about face and questioned what she had lost.
The sooner the better.
there's gold in those words, hope you guys are paying attention ;-)
I am paying attention. Just didn;t get any sleep last night so I had a long nap. It helped
I'm compilling all your advice, collecting all of my thoughts and also Gnosis was kind enough to help me understand what this is all about and the options on how to proceed.
Truly enlightening and it's been challenging my common sense which I am now COMPLETELY SURE, HASN'T WORK because this isn't about logic.
i will be posting a rough plan later today. And a few questions.
Thanks again, all of you for your support. I won't be able to pull this off with out you. I am completely alone in this city.
Love and Respect F
Last edited by Fracesc; 03/22/1007:34 AM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
